Colleague informing my manager of a medical issue

Some of these comments are shocking, people aren’t robots, they talk at work, of course she’s in the wrong, it’s not her business to ‘report’ on your health. These comments telling you off are worrying - I wonder where these posters work, I bloody hope not with me!

I would go with "Thank you for letting me know. As I explained during our conversation I had already informed our manager. I shall know not to share anything personal with you in future."

I disagree with this part. The manager shouldn't be discussing anything about the OP's medical condition with anyone, including confirming that he knows she has one or what she has said about it. His actual response was better, although he should have stopped after 'thanks for letting me know'.

Also, does your role impact your colleagues? If your symptoms worsened, could there be a scenario where it could lead to workflow issues in the wider team that are easier to manage if planned for?

My friend told her boss she had cancer but was very stubborn about not asking for as much help and support as she needed, and trying to "manage". It didn't end well, i wish she'd had a colleague to speak up and get her more help.

Assume for starters that your colleague has done this with best intentions. They have seen that its a difficult disease and want to ensure you are supported. They may have worried you were downplaying the impact.

You've been open about it and say your boss already knows. It would not be unusual for her to say "x told me about the ms - how awful. Let me know if there's anything i can do to help support her".

I don't think you should email her. It would be seen as goady or threatening. It could be an appropriate question for your manager.

Personally I would email the colleague and say something like 'i'm disappointed that you felt the need to breach trust over this matter that does not concern you. As previously stated supervisor is aware' and then distance self and on converse around edges when needed to be polite in work environment.

I would have to call her out on her behaviour.

I like Hopping Pavlova's response.

Honestly, if your manager is worth their salt, she has only made herself look bad.

The only concern is if your manager would look to manage you out due to health issues but you'll know what they're like and if this is a possibility.

If it were me, I would stress that you may not have MS and if you do, you will work with professionals to ensure you're still competent and able for as long as possible. Her experience will not be your experience. Go forearmed with ways this may affect you.

I wouldn't talk too much about her other than you now realise you shouldn't talk to her about it and are disappointed she didn't believe that you had notified the manager. Anything else will look like gossip, oneupmanship or trying to drag her down. Your manager should know.

Grievance on her sorry ass OP.

Thats the only solution.

And going forward, tell her nothing about anything unless related to work.

Your manager’s response is inappropriate to my mind and gives credence to the idea she hadn’t told them. If I had been your manage I would have rung you to find out why I got this email and then replied “thanks xxx. I am already aware of this and xxx ensures she always puts patient safety first”

Well you know now not to share private information with her in future. As your manager already knew, there's no harm done except to your ex friendship. I wouldn't think it's in anyone's interests for you to expend energy turning this into a fight by demanding the original email nor by responding to her. Rise gracefully above and focus on your health. If she asks if you saw the email, you can say it didn't appear to require a response and leave it at that.

My manager did reply to her email thanking her and that she would discuss it with me on Friday during our supervision
How do you know this?

She had no reason to disbelieve you when you told her that the information had already been passed up. To imply that you couldn't be trusted to discharge that responsibility yourself is disablist and disrespectful. From the social disability perspective, she is contributing to your disability by treating you this way

Utter nonsense. She also had no reason to believe the OP and was likely following protocol. Safeguarding is everyone’s responsibility. If I was told something by a colleague that could fall under the umbrella of safeguarding then I would have to speak to their line manager too. She didn’t need the OPs permission to do this, that’s not how safeguarding works. It’s neither ‘disabling’ nor ‘disrespectful’. Neither is it ‘contributing to her disability’.

I would respond to her and cc your manager. Something along the lines of ‘given I had advised you that I had informed my manage of this medical condition, can you clarify what aspect that you felt duty bound with and what you were hoping to achieve overall with this communication’.

I would email back saying 'thank you for your email as already stated manager is aware. ' then draw a line. She's not someone who you can trust unfortunately.

This. Give she knew your manager knew it’s so weird and makes you wonder what her motivation was for telling your manager something your manager already knew!?!

It sounds to me like her 'concerns' are around the people with MS she is familiar with and what MS is like for them. I would want to point out to your supervisor that even if you have MS, symptoms and progressions vary a lot between patients and that this woman has no idea what it will be like for you and what this will mean for you over time work-wise.

Are you in a regulated profession OP? Was she being overzealous for that reason? Either way, crappy behaviour by colleague particularly not to discuss her intentions first.

Yes, I'd find that really annoying. Especially with the manager's reply. He should have said 'yes, I'm aware and sparkly and I have already had this conversation...'

Tell her nothing going forwards. Some people like to stir. She probably didn’t believe you told your manager and because she knows someone else with it she clearly sees herself an expert. She has unlikely done it with good intentions. She’s not to be trusted.