To not be remotely involved in teen's gcse revision

If they’re independently good at studying and get good grades, I don’t blame you at all. I sat 10 GCSES with the top grades (this was 10 or so years ago) and I don’t think my parents could have recalled what subjects I was studying, if asked. I don’t remember any peers having involvement from parents either. As others have said, they’re likely about to go to college then university and independent study is sort of essential. Overbearing parenting and involvement from my parents would have got my back up, frankly.

I'm not getting that involved other than knowing when the exams are, helping draft a revision timetable and reminders to stick the timetable. They know they can ask if they need help.

I was torn - their teachers say they are A grade students but they often get B/Cs. I could coach them to achieve those As but having seen family members spoon fed to get the As who can't now self manage I decided not to.

This. And I'm a bloody teacher by trade!

One of my children needed help with planing revision and “encouragement “ to actually do it, the other is very motivated and more than capable of sorting it herself and has had no input from me at all.

I didn't need help with my GCSEs but my school was great and parents wouldn't have been much help as they didn't have a great education.
I do feel that I have to help my eldest, who is going through mocks. His school doesn't seem to have done much revision with him or even told him how to revise. I am dreading next year tbh, because I think I will have to do a lot with him.

You aren't being a "rubbish parent" but more of a judgemental parent. Who cares what other parents are doing? Just focus on your kids and family.

I do think they needed to be mostly self directed

I agree, but a lot of 15/16 year olds haven't quite learned that yet and still need a bit of guidance. A good school teaches them revision techniques, but it is obvious from this thread that not all schools do this. We even attended a year 11 parents evening where the school gave a presentation on revision techniques to the parents and pupils.

DD's school were also pretty good about getting the students used to sitting exams. From year 9 they sat January and end of year exams in the school hall, so by the time they did their GCSEs they were used to it.

I was the same as you when my oldest sat her GCSE’s 2 years ago her grades were great. My youngest I will definitely have to be more involved as she will need more support. So definitely depends on each individual child.

I'm not helping. He's autistic and extra nagging to do revision doesn't help it makes him push back and get annoyed. He's getting good mock grades so other than asking how he is doing and making sure he has every opportunity to learn and every opportunity for a good break from revision so he doesn't stress too much he's on his own. Each kid is different though and we did our own revision as kids and did good so I'm sure he'll be fine x

My son is yr 10 so getting ready for PPEs - he does a lot out of school & is worried about finding the time so we’ve helped him write a timetable to show where he’s got time available. Hopefully that will set him up to be ready for next year. Think my main job will be food and drink supplier!!

My parents had zero involvement in any aspect of my exams- I’m sure there was emotional support but that was it and it worked for me. I was pretty academic and self motivated though. I guess all kids are different. I will just go by what my own daughter needs or asks for although I do think they needed to be mostly self directed

This!

Scotland so Nat 5's imminent. Mine hasn't wanted any input other than some help with word counts . Seems to know what he's doing. Has attended extra study sessions the school put on, even over Easter holidays.
I'm being very lenient re household chores and being an extra lovely mum making snacks etc. He knows it's temporary .
Agree will be totally child dependent though.

I just kept them topped up with snacks/drinks and offered to test them on stuff if they wanted me to. You can lead a horse to water and all that.

I think some posters fail to understand that some parents are over invested in their eyes because they need to be.

My parents (90s) didn't pay the slightest attention to my revision or timetable -I certainly wasn't stopped from going out or given any special treatment (I.e monetary rewards for passing, no guests in the house during revision, revision cards etc). I think a few of my friends had parents who were more invested, but I certainly wasn't the odd one out in this respect.
My DS is doing his this year and I'm definitely much more involved, but he is autistic so his needs are higher.
DD is now 19, but hers were during covid so she didn't actually sit an exam in the end.

I talk to my kids all the time about their school work, what their tests are like, what topics they are doing. When my son has a Maths test coming up they send home a great big list of
topics so we sit together, RAG rate it and then sit and watch videos together of the red ones. I check what their homework is and talk to them about when it’s due in and when they might have time to do it. I help them ‘make time’ if needed and support them with anything they ask for help with.

I imagine that when my older son starts year 10 next year this will continue. I imagine that at this time in year 11 I will be helping him to identify time and space he can use each day and supporting him in which subjects to revise and when. I will be looking at his exam timetable and identifying priorities and talking about anything he is worried about.

I imagine our house will be covered in revision posters and he will be asking us to test him with flash cards nightly!!

I believe the first written GCSE is on 9th May this year so coming up very quickly.

Well said @Panarycatty

When DD was doing her GCSEs the school had a policy of the pupils taking two short fat GCSEs in year 10 and the remaining 8 in year 11. As a summer born, DD was only 14 when she sat two in year 10, and 15 when she sat the rest in year 11. Yes, I did help her with revision because she wanted me to.

Some pupils will be nearly 17 when they sit GCSEs, and there is a world of difference in emotional maturity at that age. By A level she was pretty much self sufficient, but she still wanted me to test her on some of her facts.

I didn't hover over her to revise as she was mature enough to know that doing well mattered.

Again, first poster nails it

If your child is independent, old enough to self study, blah blah blah just thank your lucky stars. You don’t necessarily deserve a pat on the back. You are just lucky.
As for @hangingonfordearlife1 and this sort of parenting, setting kids up to fail. Do you honestly think, we would be micromanaging our kids study and lives if they could cope like yours? No, we have no choice as caring parents as our children have additional needs, whether they are obvious to you or not.
I hope as an exam’s officer you don’t interact with the kids and make the ones needing help feel less than?

There’s a bridging option in yr10/11 for those who want to do it at A Level (the school has no sixth form so not sure if that’s why they don’t do the A Level or if it because it would e too much alongside GCSEs).

I don't have anything to do with the actual study & and revision, but I do support in practical ways. Making a nice dinner,.having good snacks in, giving a lift to school, and getting coffee and breakfast on the way. Making them come & walk the dog with me so they get a break from studying and some fresh air.

Yes, I think this is particularly true of subjects which are compulsory lower down the school like Maths, or which are perceived as "easy" at GCSE. My DS found GCSE PE very frustrating as there were quite a lot of disruptive boys in the class who thought they'd be doing nothing except play football and weren't interested in theory. A level is, if you pardon the pun, a whole different ball game - small class of very focused pupils and he's absolutely loved it.

My parents were very involved in my revision.

I practiced the oral exams for French and German with them. Then my dad did science revision with me. He’d be back from work 7/8pm and we’d be go over stuff until 10pm.

I was an A* everything student though and know I wouldn’t have done as well as I did without my parents help. Grateful for it now as I have the career I want on good money.

But it really depends on your child’s learning style. I learnt a lot by talking g things through and explaining concepts to other people but can appreciate that others don’t learn this way.

Exactly. It also helped that EVERYONE in the classroom had chosen to do the subject and numbers were lower... much less lesson time spent on disruptive behaviour. Some kids also come into their own when they are that bit older too.
Good luck to your DD.