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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Wife hides dishes

82 replies

beanbagluv1 · 17/04/2024 21:38

I've packed away nearly all of our plates/mugs/bowls and cutlery and left 1 thing of each for me and DH. We're only two people (and a baby) but somehow dirty dishes always pile up. AIBU?

OP posts:
nibblemunch · 18/04/2024 09:50

I only have 4 of everything cups plates bowls spoons knives etc.
Then again i do live alone and hate clutter.
I dont own a dishwasher either never have wash dry pack away.

BananaLambo · 18/04/2024 09:47

I actually think this is a great idea. Less stuff means less clutter, fewer dishes sitting around making the place untidy, and it’s quick and manageable to wash. Nobody feels resentful for having to wash a sink full of dishes every night. In fact, everyone can quickly and easily clean their own. I’m with you, OP, and I will be streamlining our crockery and cutlery!

Laiste · 18/04/2024 09:42

Personally I wouldn't thank you for a dishwasher.

I did have a brand new dishwasher in one house when we moved in but i just used it to store my big glassware in for 4 years.

Some of the holiday houses we go to have a dishwasher, and I don't use them either. If we're with other adults and they use it it's up to them, but i prefer to just wash up <shrug>

I realise i'm in a minority Smile

Anyway i don't want to derail OPs thread!

Shortpoet · 18/04/2024 09:38

One of the bits of advice in A Slob comes clean is to limit the amount of items you have do the dirty crockery doesn’t pile up. One item per person might be a big extreme (she was writing as someone with 5 different dinner sets and loads of pans). But I’m guessing you want to make a point.

PP saying you’ll have to wash up at every meal. That’s the point. It’s much easier to wash up one meals worth of stuff, than a towering mountain every so often.

Hope it works out for you!

Anywherebuthere · 18/04/2024 09:37

If you're the one always left to deal with all the dirty dishes then I don't blame you at all.

Hopefully this will mean everyone learns to wash up after themselves straight away if they want clean plates and utensils to use.

Not sure why people are finding this so hard to understand.

Janetime · 18/04/2024 09:32

Wow that is incredibly odd.

marshmallowfinder · 18/04/2024 09:31

phoenixrosehere · 18/04/2024 09:29

I do that and we have a dishwasher.

I don’t like dishes all over the place, and not everything can go in a dishwasher.

Show quote history

You need to replace items that can't with items that are dishwasher safe.

OP, for the love of God, get a dishwasher.

phoenixrosehere · 18/04/2024 09:29

K0OLA1D · 18/04/2024 09:10

That is what you do if you don't have a dishwasher.

Show quote history

I do that and we have a dishwasher.

I don’t like dishes all over the place, and not everything can go in a dishwasher.

ImustLearn2Cook · 18/04/2024 09:28

@beanbagluv1 I don’t think you are trying to make a point. I think you are trying out a strategy to make life easier and cut down on all the dirty dishes piling up. Ignore the pp who just don’t get it.

Youcannotbeseriousreally · 18/04/2024 09:23

Hahahah this is really pathetic. You’re basically just making your own life harder to prove a point which he 100% won’t get!

Laiste · 18/04/2024 09:20

I mean - i'm thinking about it now and i realise i actually do this to a lesser extent!

One of our young adult DDs loves to use mug after mug and leave them about the place. However, quite obsessively, she will only use her own mugs. Therefore i restrict 'her' mugs in the mug cupboard to a max 4 - that way it's not too bad 😂

Calamitousness · 18/04/2024 09:16

That’s bizarre.

Laiste · 18/04/2024 09:14

I get it OP.

You're the wife and you've titled the OP about yourself.

I don't blame you. I don't have a dishwasher either and hate walking into the kitchen to find a pile of dirty stuff in the sink.

Yeah - while baby is young if DH is shit at washing up after himself promptly, keep the opportunity for it to pile up to a min by reducing the amount of dishes and cups available.

No nagging, no pile up.

Seeline · 18/04/2024 09:14

I assume you do the cooking too?
Does he do any household chores?

If he had nothing to eat he wouldn't need a plate to eat off which then wouldn't need washing......

K0OLA1D · 18/04/2024 09:10

Whitewatergrafting · 17/04/2024 22:15

Pointless exercise. You'll just end up washing every time you eat or drink.

That is what you do if you don't have a dishwasher.

Toffifee1 · 18/04/2024 09:08

Whitewatergrafting · 17/04/2024 22:15

Pointless exercise. You'll just end up washing every time you eat or drink.

Which is normal??

ImustLearn2Cook · 18/04/2024 06:02

Newborn stage is hard. You’ve just given birth and are probably exhausted. I sometimes buy paper plates etc. to give me a little rest from doing the dishes.

Maybe you and husband could try something like that. But, in the long run husband needs to clean up after himself and do his fair share of the housework.

I bought a freestanding dishwasher that has an inlet house and an outlet hose same as a washing machine. I find it very helpful.

Hillrunning · 18/04/2024 05:53

Of course you are being unreasonable. Packing away shared items within a household because you are frustrated is a petty and controlling response. If that was the solution they both adults came up either together to avoid ever having a big pile to get through at once, then fine. You doing this alone to make some kind of point is silly

Original poster
beanbagluv1 · 17/04/2024 22:44

Hols24 · 17/04/2024 22:43

I'm guessing you don't have a dishwasher?

Nope no dishwasher here unfortunately.

OP posts:
Original poster
beanbagluv1 · 17/04/2024 22:43

Whitewatergrafting · 17/04/2024 22:15

Pointless exercise. You'll just end up washing every time you eat or drink.

True. Especially with a newborn that'll probably just backfire at some point 😅

OP posts:
Hols24 · 17/04/2024 22:43

I'm guessing you don't have a dishwasher?

Original poster
beanbagluv1 · 17/04/2024 22:40

malmi · 17/04/2024 22:28

Seen name change fails before but not a reverse fail!

Not a reverse fail. Just a fed up wife asking for advice lol

OP posts:
malmi · 17/04/2024 22:28

Seen name change fails before but not a reverse fail!

Whitewatergrafting · 17/04/2024 22:15

Pointless exercise. You'll just end up washing every time you eat or drink.

ThePoshUns · 17/04/2024 22:11

Your wife?