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AIBU?

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Original poster

Wife hides dishes

82 replies

beanbagluv1 · 17/04/2024 21:38

I've packed away nearly all of our plates/mugs/bowls and cutlery and left 1 thing of each for me and DH. We're only two people (and a baby) but somehow dirty dishes always pile up. AIBU?

OP posts:
Anotherparkingthread · 18/04/2024 11:48

I think it's fine. Why would you want to wash a full dining service?! Because if it's out it will all be used and some poor sod -usually me. Will have to clean it.

I just take the extras out when people come over.

JudgeJ · 18/04/2024 11:43

AE9766 · 18/04/2024 11:28

That's ridiculous, just buy a dishwasher, I don't understand why you don't have one.

You really don't need a dishwasher for two people, I'm on my own and very very rarely use mine.22

JudgeJ · 18/04/2024 11:42

PostHummus · 17/04/2024 21:52

1 of each thing per person, are you kidding?

When my husband died I decided that I would do this, one of everything. It lasted about two days!

Redcarsontv · 18/04/2024 11:34

Perfectly reasonable in my opinion. Dd and her DH did something similar but with two items each when they were working awfully long hours.

my dh was away last week and I washed up my used items after each meal rather than using the dishwasher. Took a few minutes each time.

AE9766 · 18/04/2024 11:28

That's ridiculous, just buy a dishwasher, I don't understand why you don't have one.

C1N1C · 18/04/2024 11:26

Paper plates!

tomkat81 · 18/04/2024 11:08

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BMW6 · 18/04/2024 11:08

Sure, but that makes no difference - well, we wouldn't have used side plates at lunchtime I suppose, so there would just be 2 evening plates and pans to wash up every evening!

tomkat81 · 18/04/2024 10:59

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WatermelonWaveclub · 18/04/2024 10:58

Completely fine. I just have 2 per person because yes, otherwise things do pile up.

tomkat81 · 18/04/2024 10:57

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LemonyFace · 18/04/2024 10:55

I presume you never have any visitors???
Of course not, this is MN and so visitors must await their gold-embossed invitation and rsvp within 23 minutes or else the invitation lapses. 🙄

tomkat81 · 18/04/2024 10:55

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Seeline · 18/04/2024 10:54

Dishwashers still need unloading and reloading. If OPs partner can't be bothered to wash up, I can't see him dealing with the dishwasher either!

ForPearlViper · 18/04/2024 10:53

I worked at a school that had a large staff room with kitchen (including dishwasher). It was always a horrible mess with dirty cups, used plates stacked in the sink, etc. It was impossible to fill a kettle without moving stuff out of the sink. (Luckily, our team had their own little kitchen area and sink.)

After some years of this and many warnings the school business manager had enough. An email was circulated. By close of play on Friday, all personal crockery should be removed or it would be thrown away. On Monday all staff would be issued with identical mugs each with their name written underneath in permanent marker. Personal plates could be used for food but items left on the side, in the sink, in the dishwasher when clean, etc, would be thrown away at the end of the day. The SBM was made of steel and didn't relent.

It did work for quite some time, until she left in fact.

AnotherFamilyNightmare · 18/04/2024 10:51

What is the actual problem? The dishes pile up and neither of you wash them until you run out because you are both exhausted from having a newborn? Or the dishes pile up and it always falls to you to wash up?

BMW6 · 18/04/2024 10:31

Janetime · 18/04/2024 09:32

Wow that is incredibly odd.

Why?

BMW6 · 18/04/2024 10:29

Seems OK to me. Only DH and I live here and we are using the same plates every day! 2 at lunch, another 2 at dinner, then we wash up (by hand).

Hardly worth putting them back in the cupboard really!

SaveMyArchitrave · 18/04/2024 10:24

Have you seen this, @beanbagluv1? Had your husband?

matthewfray.com/2016/01/14/she-divorced-me-because-i-left-dishes-by-the-sink/

K0OLA1D · 18/04/2024 10:01

Laiste · 18/04/2024 09:42

Personally I wouldn't thank you for a dishwasher.

I did have a brand new dishwasher in one house when we moved in but i just used it to store my big glassware in for 4 years.

Some of the holiday houses we go to have a dishwasher, and I don't use them either. If we're with other adults and they use it it's up to them, but i prefer to just wash up <shrug>

I realise i'm in a minority Smile

Anyway i don't want to derail OPs thread!

I'm the same. We had one when we moved in and got rid and replaced it with a freezer

phoenixrosehere · 18/04/2024 09:57

BananaLambo · 18/04/2024 09:47

I actually think this is a great idea. Less stuff means less clutter, fewer dishes sitting around making the place untidy, and it’s quick and manageable to wash. Nobody feels resentful for having to wash a sink full of dishes every night. In fact, everyone can quickly and easily clean their own. I’m with you, OP, and I will be streamlining our crockery and cutlery!

True.

All of our dishes and bowls fit in one cupboard and we rarely use all of them The only time they get quite low is when we have family staying and that’s three times a year.

We have a ridiculous amount of mugs though which I wouldn’t mind getting rid of but DH does use a lot of them.

Imgoingandnevercomingback · 18/04/2024 09:55

beanbagluv1 · 17/04/2024 22:43

True. Especially with a newborn that'll probably just backfire at some point 😅

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It takes literally two to five minutes to wash up a small number of items. Maybe a bit more for a more complicated meal.

Imgoingandnevercomingback · 18/04/2024 09:53

Justcallmebebes · 17/04/2024 21:54

Why are they packed away? Are you moving? Are you the wife? So many questions

She is the wife. She’s packed them away because they pile up unwashed disproportionally to how many people use them. That’s all I’m the first post.

IHRTFT but I’m assuming when I do that the subtext is that he isn’t pulling his weight with the daily grind, she’s fed up with it and resorting to desperate means.

OneTC · 18/04/2024 09:52

Whitewatergrafting · 17/04/2024 22:15

Pointless exercise. You'll just end up washing every time you eat or drink.

That's the point

phoenixrosehere · 18/04/2024 09:52

marshmallowfinder · 18/04/2024 09:31

You need to replace items that can't with items that are dishwasher safe.

OP, for the love of God, get a dishwasher.

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Yeah, I’m not going to waste money buying new dishes so I can put them in the dishwasher. It takes less than five minutes for me on 99% of those that don’t.