To hate having house guests?!

Completely agree.

We go on holiday in a week and I found out yesterday that my husband's brother, his wife and their adult children and partners were planning on coming to stay for 4 nights the day we arrived home, within 2 hours of us landing at the airport 🙈. Obviously their visit was planned but originally they had been coming the following day!

I really like them and they are easy to get on with/no one stands on ceremony and everyone mucks in, but I do need a night back in my own bed and time to unpack (and buy milk!!!) before 6 extra adults arrive in the house!! Fortunately after a few words with my other half they will now arrive the day after we get home as originally planned 😂

Then when they leave I will have a very quiet few days speaking to no one to recharge 😊

Just stop doing it. I've done a 360 turnaround in 10 years, used to have people stay loads, entertained, cooked etc etc. 1 divorce and attitude change and I never do it now. I don't care anymore what anyone thinks, it's bad for my mental health and not worth it. I say 'we aren't in a position to do that, here are local air bnbs...' I don't like any visitors to my home!!

I love it! Currently have a family member staying for a fortnight, have lots of friends over for the odd overnight or two here and there, and also have sometimes hosted complete strangers when a friend needs somewhere for guests to sleep for an overnight. I enjoy the sociability, having plenty of time to talk to friends without the need for anyone to leave and go home. I have a guest room that only needs linens to be put on when someone visits, and generally people pitch in somewhat with house tasks so it's not a huge effort. In my friend group it's normal for us + kid(s) to stay overnight with one another if we visit as it's often too far for a day trip.

Only time it's a bit awkward is when I need to try to wfh and I'm a bit too easily distracted if there's a guest around. Also when kids were very small it was a bit of a pain planning meal times around various toddlers. But now everyone is just relaxed.

YANBU at all. Hate staying with other people too. If visiting friends much prefer to stay in a hotel.

I can't stand it, I never invite people to stay. Fortunately family are close enough not to need to. I'm quite sociable but I need mental space every day. I also don't like staying in other people's houses, I would rather get a hotel. My son doesn't like his friends staying over either, he says he can't sleep!

I only have two close friends that I ever feel comfortable doing this with! But that's very much a case of su casa mi casa either way round. And I love that. Other than that, no, I feel totally uncomfortable! We had my husbands mates kipping over in the 90's a lot, I just felt like I couldn't be myself or relax, so YANBU!

I love it, I have eight friends descending this weekend. I like their company and cooking etc, the only bit I dislike is the putting the house back together after, the beds, towels etc. I have four coming the following weekend.

and I’m 50.😄

I'd dislike it too. Luckily all our friends and family stay in the same town mostly beyond one brother who has a holiday home here anyway. So we are never in this situation thankfully.

You have certainly found your people on Mumsnet.

I actually do like having people to stay (obviously only people I like!) - I am an introvert so I like it planned in advance so I have the energy but I love entertaining and cooking for people, I love the more random late night chats or dozy morning chats. I don't run out of conversation with the sort of close friend I have to stay, it doesn't get awkward.

Sure if I pulled a random off the street and had them to stay, it would be awks all the way but not a good friend!

Absolutely. In real life I don’t know anyone who hates guests! Luckily, as our friends are now scattered far and wide. We’re always delighted when they visit and I’m pretty sure it’s reciprocated 🤣

@ItsFuckingBoringFeedingEveryoneUntilYouDie
* I would love to draw a Venn diagram. I bet there is a significant overlap between all the the people who hate guests staying over and all the people who don't answer their doors unless someone has been invited, preferably with 3 week's advance warning.*

🤣🤣🤣🤣. I agree with this! Would also love to see the diagram! I find some people on here very odd sometimes!!

Yep I hate them with a passion. DP and I currently live in a very expensive holiday destination and have had to endure 3 stints of 3 weeks of visitors each (his siblings and parents). I hated. every.single.fucking.minute. I hated their very existence. I hate his sister now. They weren't particularly good guests either. I can't tell them to stay at a hotel as hotels here are over $1000/night. DP is sad to be so far away from my family so I put up with it.

We're moving to the UK next year and I can’t wait. I'm NEVER hosting again. We're looking at houses and DP wants a 4 bed. I say no way. I don't want people to be able to get comfortable at my house for weeks.

I love hosting guests and regularly do. Usually for a weekend - 1-3 nights stay - but sometimes a week especially friends from overseas who use us as a base while they visit or deposit their teens (who are mates with my teen) while they go visiting family. Also hosted a foreign exchange student recently which was fun.

my survival tips include making the guests as independent as possible - own key, run of kitchen, clear understanding they sort out breakfast and lunch, and if they want to do tourism, they research and decide where to go (and we rarely accompany). And claim your private moments to wind down - dog walking, early to bed, gardening.

i do love it though- nothing deepens relationships like a couple of days together and relaxed conversations where you’re not trying to fit it all in. My kids get to spend time with kind, funny, interesting people and it improves their social skills too.

No idea. I’ve never had an overnight guest nor have I ever stayed in anyone else’s house. Why don’t they stay in their own house or book a hotel?

Yep! The only person who stays over is my younger sister and that can only be for one night. After that, I cba. I can never have family members (other than little sis) stay with me. It’s exhausting

It depends who it is - my sister in law - love it, I live in a male dominated house and we get on like a house on fire. It's so refreshing to have her stay! She also couldn't care less about tidiness/what I'm wearing/what we're eating etc. Perfect houseguest

Other people? No thank you!

Yes, HATE it. I always feel like I have to be “on” the entire time. And I’m a big chill and relax type of person. One day maybe two is fine but more than that I’m itching for them to go home so I can have my space back.

my sister wanted to come visit for a few days this month and I made up a work excuse cause she was here last September and more than one visit a year for days at a time drains me.

the only way I can handle it if I plan lots of activities so I don’t have to talk, but that’s expensive so I can’t do that for days on end

I would love to draw a Venn diagram. I bet there is a significant overlap between all the the people who hate guests staying over and all the people who don't answer their doors unless someone has been invited, preferably with 3 week's advance warning.

I will be happily in another bubble, offering an open house to my friends and making endless cups of tea for anyone who pops by on the off chance I am free!

Totally agree! So I don't do either one. Gives me a headache just thinking about it.

Im worn out with it all.

We have the biggest house within our extended family - which extends as far as Australia, and we live beside the sea and in an AONB, so everyone wants to stay with us

I feel like Im running a B&B between Easter and September and then New year

Im ok when its family, but then if its a niece/nephew/step/grandchild bringing partner/friend or some waif and stray it gets too much for me in that I feel I cant relax in my own home

With family, its you are here, we still have lives to get on with - theres the keys,get on with it. When its non family as well, then the constant "hosting" becomes tiring. Like stepson came last year, with WTB, her parents, her brother and her parents friends - 7 for two nights. Its not just the hosting its the ruddy costs, they were from Oz so felt cold so had the heating belting out all day, the hot water on constantly, the shopping bill and then the worse - the washing after - all that bedding and towels

I moan, but then I hate staying anywhere else unless its a hotel so I can complain if things are not perfect lol. And tbh I do enjoy the company and the fun it all brings. Theres some weeks we ( DH and I ) sit and say DOWNSIZE NOW, then the next we are saying oh so and so are stopping for the night tomorrow

Does anyone over the age of 30 really enjoy having people stay?

I love it. Three days is my limit though.

We had some friends do this when we had a celebratory wedding anniversary. They had their dogs with them so it was easier for everyone. We just lent them the front door key for access to the downstairs loo.

YANBU.

Oh we are saved from staying in friends houses. We park our campervan on their driveways or nearby and sleep in there. It also allows us to have an extra glass or two of wine and dissect the evening on our own :)