To hate having house guests?!

My children and grandchildren are my only guests. Anything else would be terrible.

Opps sorry sent too fast!
Love having friends around, but for a short stay. Family same. They're all super good guests who know that I love my routine and do what they can to fit in it!

Used to hate though, tried too hard to be the perfect host.

What’s that saying, ‘guests are like fish, after 3 days they start to smell.’

I love having fri

I like it for 3 days max...then it gets tedious...though oddly if they stay for a couple of weeks its OK. It's that awkward spot between 2 overnights and 3 overnights and 12 nights. .

It's nice to be able to chat to people and be more comfortable than meeting up for a night.

We have many guests staying over. I generally really enjoy it - but I'm also pleased when they go!

Yes hate it. One of the unexpected benefits of splitting with ex. It was always his family visiting and I hated it despite liking them as people. Best visits with people last no more than a few hours before you both get sick of each other.
I used to disappear for an hr or so to recharge, they had plenty of people to chat to, but it was always "where has disturbia gone?" "Why does she need time alone" aghh suffocating.

This is me. I can't be bothered with that type of socialising. Quick coffee, chat then home when visiting friends or they visit me.

So, just say no.

Some of the responses in this thread indicate a decline not only in the tradition of providing hospitality, but moreso, a decline in the pleasure of it.

My dislike of providing hospitality is around the lack of courtesy - my guests (generally DH's family) tend to invite themselves to stay, which I think is incredibly rude, and the invitations tend to be for midweek accommodation. DH and I both work full time and our weeks are busy. Having to host midweek generally grinds us to a halt, with one of us having to take time off at some point, to let people in when they arrive etc. Its a huge cause of friction between DH and I. Last time this happened, I told him he could do all the sorting out, cooking, hosting etc - he was dead on his feet by the time they went home. Hopefully this has made him think ......

I love my children dearly but they are noisy when they are altogether.
Worse now than what they were when they were kids lol.
Mum you seen this muuuummm what you cooking today muummmm tell him off.
They are adults but when they come for a visit they become kids again😂.
I love my peace and quiet now.

Some of the responses in this thread indicate a decline not only in the tradition of providing hospitality, but moreso, a decline in the pleasure of it.

I agree that the digital age means that many people prefer to live in isolation.

I still don't understand why people host people they don't like. Obviously there are exceptions such as partner's family who live too far to visit for the day, but otherwise why can't peope just say that they can't host rather than simmer with resentment?

I'm lucky that the people who do stay are people we want to spend time with, and can feel relaxed in their company. It also helps that we have 4 bedrooms and two bathrooms, plus a downstairs loo, so we aren't all on top of each other.

I think the thread is made up of people who agree with the op predominantly and obvs behind a screen, there is possibly as a pp said a large correlation with those who don’t like to speak on the phone, or answer their doors.

in my wider social circle there is no change in people hosting. We all do it. So I think uou need to take the potential demographic into account on line. It is not representative of the wider population in my experience

@yellowr0se i feel exactly the same. I literally never have anyone to stay, I absolutely hate it. I will happily socialise and meet somewhere and really enjoy it. Just not in my own house.

Yes. Also means I have to tidy up.

MIL came to stay and argued with us about what to watch on telly.

She left her toe nail clippings on the carpet for us to clean up.

She turned the toilet roll so it hung at the back, rather than the front.

She criticised my home cooking as she was adamant that buying prepped food is best.

She is our only house guest, so my only example.

Some of the responses in this thread indicate a decline not only in the tradition of providing hospitality, but moreso, a decline in the pleasure of it.

Is this due to the digital age I wonder, a COVID impact, or something else - people being less social, desiring human company less, feeling less tolerant and quick to judge, getting less happiness from spending time together - is it a British phenomenon, or something else? Either way, the fact humans can't feel comfortable or enjoy hosting loved ones, old friends, or even acquaintances for short periods of time (even 24 hours) makes me feel sad. Like our communities are shrinking. Obv if the person you don't want to host is a dick that's understandable. But these are people you care about! It's strange to me.

Your own kids???

Ah go on!

I find it rather sad that you can't relax in your sister's company.

Am I the only one who thinks that guests who are NOT INVITED and ask to stay are bloody cheeky as hell and presumptuos too. I'm talking random friends, distant relatives, etc. Family is different I suppose.

I could never ask anyone if it's ok to stay with them as I'd be far too worried about getting in their way and disrupting their routine not to mention costing them time and money. (and dribbling on the pillows, and needing the loo in the middle of the night etc. !)

OK maybe it's just me.

Im with you op i cant stand it either.
Ive got to the point now that even when my own kids come for a visit im watching the clocks.
Simply put i hate guests and anyone staying for the night.
And having to start talking first thing in the mornings gives me the rage.
I love silence my own space and just me.
Having to make everyone teas and coffees chit chat smile and nod.

OMG - this would have sent me over the edge! I'm so glad you've managed to push things back at bit, but I need at least a few days to get back to normal after a holiday. That amount of guests would be a huge NO from me, even if I wasn't going on holiday.

Its interesting that your other half would have been quite happy with the first arrangement, men really don't think these things through, do they?

Same, unless it’s very close family. I just won’t do it. Dh doesn’t mind at all, but if we’re going together, for me it has to be a hotel.

I don’t mind house guests, as long as it’s close family/very good friends. After two lots of PITA Canadian relations I hardly knew, I don’t have anyone else to stay any more - except a v old friend of dh, who’s no trouble at all and always very appreciative of whatever I cook!

I hate it so much! I'm very introverted and have serious social anxiety and health problems that make me tired at the best of times, plus I'm a chronic people-pleaser, so having to be 'on' all the time is hideous! And the tiptoeing around in the mornings so you're up and ready in case they need you, but trying not to wake them in case it looks rude. Exhausting. I managed to get out of going to stay with the inlaws at Easter and was so looking forward to having the long weekend home alone, but then friends I love dearly sprang it on me that they were going to be in the area, and in the next breath they were asking if they could stay here and my people-pleasing side was saying 'Yes, lovely, of course you can!' while the rest of me was screaming 😱It was genuinely so nice to see them and I really do love them, but they are also terrible people-pleasers, so we spent three full days going 'What do you want for lunch?' 'We don't mind - whatever's easiest.' 'I could make X or Y.' 'We don't mind - whatever's easiest.' 'I'm taking the dog for a walk - do you want to come?' 'We don't mind - whatever's easiest.' 😂

I hate having people to stay and I hate staying in other people's houses. And yes, that includes people I genuinely like to spend time with! I just need that little bit of decompression space at night and early in the morning, and I feel like I can't do it if I'm sharing accommodation with others.