To hate having house guests?!

I enjoy it, but recently moved from a 1 bed flat where we never had the space to host anyone. We have friends and family all over the place so I love the chance to have them stay and spend proper time with them!

Agree with PP that the secret is giving guest independence- own key, run of the kitchen, set clear boundaries and rules on when meals together are and when they aren't etc. But maybe that only works if you have reasonable guests, as we do!

The morning dread!!! Exactly!!!

I know

Still Not fcking over it

Sheer hell

I thought hell didn't exist.. but here it is. You poor thing, 2 weeks with nice people is 12 days too much but ones who criticise.. talking about your weight! You don't have to do that ever again.

Two weeks last July

Two fcking weeks

I was expected to cook for them
Clean
Drive them around

They complained every fcking day

There was snide remarks re kids diet
My weight
How tired I looked
That I should have had my kids when I was younger etc

It was hell

One night max going forward

I did say in advance two weeks was way too long
They said
No we just want to come and chill and help you with your new house

They never lifted a finger 🤬🤬🤬🤬🤬

Other option is to visit them. Then stay in a local hotel. Mind you with 5 bedrooms you prob have a bit more space to not be falling over each other

Ah ok. We live in the Yorkshire Dales, so there aren't any local hotels.

There will be self-catering cottages within, say, a 20 mile radius. But, I'd struggle to justify that to family members when I have ample space here at home.

So glad it’s not just me. Three days is my max and then I become incredibly irritable. Our houseguests are usually my in laws, and ways I’ve found to make it manageable are - going to bed at 9pm (reading alone), getting husband to take them out for dinner, having to ‘work late’ at least once. They’re perfectly nice people, I just passionately hate having houseguests or being a guest in someone else’s home.

I struggle with it too.

Adult dc come for weekends and it's fine if they're on their own but if they bring partners I feel really on edge (even though they're lovely and very undemanding)

I feel like I can't just take time out to relax, I have to be on hand chatting/being sociable/making sure the house is ship shape. I realise it's just me that's the problem, not them!

Local B and B , premier inn or Travelodge? I'm currently staying in a premier inn two miles from my daughter. So we have space and privacy

YANBU. I was thrilled when DH started WFH and we had to turn our spare bedroom into an office. I jumped at the chance to move the bed out of there so we wouldn't be able to have anyone to stay. Technically, we could still accommodate overnight guests by making the DC share a room, but whenever I've said "oh what a shame we don't have a spare bedroom anymore but there's a Premier Inn close by" no one has questioned it. I love my friends and family, I like to socialise but only in small doses and my home is my sanctuary.

YANBU, last time I had a friend staying over I lied and said I have plans early in the morning next day just to get her to leave

@Akamai I figure it's easier to keep the peace. They are only here til Sunday. We'll wear it. The debate about it isn't worth the hassle.

I currently have DM staying with me. 'Can I go to the toilet?' 'What are you doing/where are you going?' (Me standing up to get a drink/wee/answer the door.) 'Can we go to M&S? I'll pay for a taxi.' (I have a car!) 'Shall we go home now?' (Out for lunch for 45 minutes.) 'Do you mind if I speak to your DF when he phones me?' 'Is it okay if I take my tablet now?'

I picked only her up at lunchtime! She's here until Sunday...

It's only the second time that she's stayed with me since I moved here almost six years ago.

In June, I have the next wave of family staying. They are completely different and my house looks like a tornado has gone through it within minutes of them arriving. I will sit quietly in a corner, rocking myself with my fingers in my ears!

Yep, house guests. Can't love 'em, can't avoid 'em!

I feel the same about family/ friend holidays in big houses or villas. Give me a hotel every time.
That's not about entertaining, I just don't want to make conversation with my BiL first thing in the morning when all I want is to make my coffee and go back to bed!

How is it "simple" though?

My mother lives in Scotland, my MiL lives in London. We live in Yorkshire, in a 5 bedroom/5 bathroom house.

How can we simply avoid overnight guests?

Surely you just tell her to live with it?

But genuinely though, do your guests have to stay? Can you suggest a hotel?

And I say that having just got in bed after moving dd2's bedroom around so my o parents can get in and out of bed easier and changing two lots of sheets, after cooking dinner for everyone on top of a 10 hour work day.
We have a sort of granny flat which I had intended they stay in and which would have been much better, but my mum decided the bed was 'too small', (it's a double) so we have all had to shuffle round. 😑

I don't mind for two nights. Any more than that and I get a bit fed up.

Guests and entertaining no longer popular? Would it be something to do with the vast amount of shopping, cooking, cleaning, washing, bed making involved and women nowadays having the confidence to say No.

This has brought back my parents being away for 4 weeks when I was 15 (work training)
A teacher gave me a lift in the morning to school. Mortifying and awkward
And I had to stay with friends of theirs too for 4 weeks

I feel exactly the same @yellowr0se

As Benjamin Franklin said, "Guests, like fish, begin to smell after three days".

I hate it
I am the ethnicity people thinks love family parties and food.
Growing up people used to come over a lot to enjoy themselves generally, on nights, and on special occasions. Religious holidays were never enjoyed due to the high maintenance people that turned up. The house was crowded and the bathroom for ever being used by some old or disabled relative in succession
There was also the cousin whose parents went to Saudi to earn the big bucks but had a mini breakdown and stayed a week but never informed the parents to keep them enjoying themselves. She was a lot older and well off than us and we had nothing in common
Then her and her brother developed a habit of wanting home cooked food but would come over between 11-1am when I'd returned home from University and they'd stay up talking to my mum after I'd talked to no one all day
Eventually I erupted when they started inviting others

. The house was probably way out of our budget and more suited to people who had money and could control the crowds
I hated the whole thing. People ignored us teenagers and only wanted to talk to our parents. We were just in the way. The bedroom was next to the living room as it was a bungalow but parties and entertaining went on till 2am
It was horrid when people stayed over because Im quite private and don't want to be seen in my PJs and I don't want to have to step over people at night
Bear in mind I am a man
I moved out eventually. Never changed. My parents loved it but was selfish of the adults

If it's a one off grin and bear it
In my case I would have moved out. My relationship with my parents was ruined. We never had regular quality time over 20 years and that bonding cannot be replaced
I'm private too and I like to come home and tell funny jokes and stories of the day
I can tolerate low maintenance people who mind their own business and are genuinely interested in me for an hour or two but not in the late hours or overnight

My parents never became their age as such. They've always been a bit Peter Pan and love it all. In an ideal world they would have spoken to their nephews and nieces and brothers as adults they are and told them it was not on
Also consider your relationship with the guests before going berserk. Some are genuinely kind and loving like some Pakistani people I know. Simple and get on your nerves but really come through for you.
If they are freeloading wasters then be tactful and start kicking them out
What annoyed me in my case is these people in the majority were those who kept their doors locked and had strict rules for visiting

I agree 100% with you OP. I don't even like people visiting my house for more than a few hours. I always make them feel welcome and well-fed etc but inside I'm dying for them to leave.

Luckily we live near all family and have no spare rooms, so no overnight guests. It would be my nightmare.