To hate having house guests?!

We haven't had guests for awhile, thank you COVID.
DH got in touch with someone and ended up with them visiting last weekend with just a couple of days notice.
Fine, except I wasn't here from before the invite to after the last evening meal on a three day visit.
After expensive last minute trips to the supermarket plus paying at the pub, I sense DH is no longer as keen to have his weekends disrupted and his weeks spent prepping.

In quick succession we have his brother coming plus awkward family. I'm sensing remarkable reluctance there too.

The bottom line is, we don't have the space to be guest ready. The older we get, the less flexible everyone is to crash or camp. And we rarely go away and impinge/enjoy others hospitality.

I've a friend coming merely for lunch this week, perfect.

I hate it too. My house is too small, and I like my privacy.

SwordToFlamethrower · Today 22:47
I love the idea of making guests as independant as possible with spring your own breakfasts, lunches and drinks”

I think that’s rude 🤷‍♀️

I love the idea of making guests as independant as possible with spring your own breakfasts, lunches and drinks. My mil waits on us hands and foot when we stay and I hate it. I had to tell her please don't make my breakfast for me. She once made me weetabix by crunching the biscuits into dust, then pouring a smidge of milk to make a sludge. I was horrified. Also she males a huge performance out of drinks. Every hour she wants to know if I want a drink. It is absolutely exhausting.

I love having houseguests but my tip is to change your daily routine as little as possible.

Do everything you would normally, wake up, morning routine, and they slot in and either sort themselves out or follow your lead. Much easier than playing at being hotel staff. Better too as less prevaricating / joint decision making about each daily activity which can get annoying.

My ex's grandmother used to stay and she used to wash her knickers in the bath. Other house guests never showered at all.

My mother in law doesn't shower at all and the last time she stayed, she slagged off my cooking and clipped all her long nails onto the carpet for me to walk (crunch) on after she left.

She also tries to rearrange the house, and argues about watching the telly.

She's coming to visit this week for 3 days 😭

I can't relate to this. Love having people to stay, happy to make them drinks etc and I enjoy the change of routine. Although I only invite people I actually like...

Agree, it's horrible and I refuse to do it.

I'd do that too.

Loathe it, day visitors fine ( well family ones) but overnight no!!! Exhausting, just want my own space, routine etc. I have to recharge without talking, drink providing and bathroom waiting. Avoid at all costs!!

Absolutely agree.
We have a large house but the reorganising involved in putting people into my children s bedrooms was huge.
Big clear out and tidy of teens bedrooms....they did look great but the work!
Nightmare...dinner fine but staying is a dose.

Overwhelming. Other than B&B for one night I absolutely hate having people to stay.
And I seem to morph into Mrs Doyle from Father Ted when people are staying, which must be pretty irritating for the guests too.
Exhausting for everyone.

I can imagine! I live in California and I had 3 female relatives from out of town come and stay with me right when I was due to give birth to my first baby. As it was their first time on California, they wanted to do all the touristy things..On the day before DC was born, one had cramps, so I had to walk many blocks to go get the car from the car park as she couldn't walk. 12 hours later, DC was born.

I was, in many ways, but I just cannot be bothered to have guests, we had lots when we first moved to London, not to see us!

Sounds like a lovely visit @Cherrysoup 🤣🤣🤣

Rare for us to have guests. It was always parents, difficult to tell them to stay in a hotel with 2 spare bedrooms! I tried to organise 2 nights max, had sulking etc but my mum knows I hate her drinking, she always gets very pissed, every night, it’s horrible.

The last guests I had were here last year and I’m hoping they don’t ask again because it was a pita having to dream up stuff to entertain them and then I couldn’t move rooms because they were in the spare bed so I had my dh snoring in my ear all night.

After 40 years of marriage, I've finally figured out that my DH should be totally responsible for guests...you are right, @Springtime43 DH has been exhausted after just one night. It's amazing how many fewer guests are invited (by him!) to visit when I remind him of his new hosting duties...I don't care if he even blames it on me.

Last week whilst I was away, a client in a caravan called him and said he and his wife would be at our home in 5 minutes! ( the husband wanted to just show up, but fortunately the wife made him call, albeit only 5 minutes ahead) They stayed overnight in our guestroom and DH made all their meals. Then, thinking they were doing us a favour, left all the things that they didn't use in the caravan since it was rented. DH also had to drive them to the large airport over an hour away. ( these people are very lovely, btw! And good clients, so it wasn't a bad visit...practically the perfect houseguests...it was just all the effort that went into hosting. ) and we aren't getting any younger👩‍🦳🧑‍🦳

I think it's so dependent on so many factors. I'm an introvert so I could put it down to that why I hate it. And I've always thought that's why.
But if I had a lovely big house and lovely interesting funny people staying I might like it!
But it's never been like that

@SaltyGod I could have written your post word for word 😂.

Am also an introvert but I love our friends and family and really enjoy having them to stay. I love the planning and the cooking and the general buzz of having lovely people around, playing games, eating and drinking too much and lots of interesting and often bonkers conversation. But I do love my own space and my own company when they leave!

Thank though for this (old) thread OP, I've always thought I was a bit weird. We've got family coming for 2 weeks soon and I'm already feeling a little stressed. They're always on the go wanting to do things with us. Last year I ended up going to the supermarket several times just to have a peaceful wander round the aisles! It's hard to explain to people who love hosting just how exhausting it can be for others.

I hate staying with other people too. We always self cater when travelling and the kind of host who wants to interact, or horror of horrors, invites us around for a drink (which seems to happen a lot) makes me feel uncomfortable.

Am very sociable in real life, it's just the having people to stay/staying with other people I find hard.

I know this is an old thread, and I know I’m in the minority but I really enjoy having house guests.

We often have big weekend or holiday get togethers, 15+ people sleeping in the house and more for dinner or lunch. We deliberately wanted a house that would be good for entertaining. Personally I find it fun and enjoyable. And if I need quiet time I can go off to my room for a bit. Hosting is easier than being a guest I think.

I’m also an introvert so enjoy having the house back to myself again when they leave.

I'm happy with a long weekend but no more unless it's a very good friend who's come long haul.

So this! Wanted to go on holidays with dh and I - I said no, told her 3 day stay was enough - she arrived and told me she'd be staying for 9 days as her next stop had cancelled. Snide comments about my body shape, my skin, tried to hit my dog, was meant to go out and about but followed me around like a shadow.

I finally stopped playing ball and then she lost it - said it wasn't her fault her mental health was awful (after telling me she was better). She'll be back next year - think I'm dreading it already - I haven't been able to talk to her since she left a month ago - I feel so unsupportive but I also feel manipulated.

Just no. Life is too short. All that trapped wind as well. You can’t fart with house guests! It’s far too exhausting the whole thing.

Just say no!

Totally with you. I have a family guest from overseas every year - I wish I could tell her I don't want her to stay.