To think there's an argument for texting for a few weeks before meeting up to get a feel for the person ?

I wouldn't.
I think there has to be a sort of chemistry, which you can only know when you meet. You can message people you know already for 'chat' but when you've not even met, it's more like being interrogated.

However, I think it is ridiculous to start a relationship with someone who lives 3 and 1/2 hours away. That would be difficult enough to sustain in an established relationship (and presumably it will be longer than 3.5 hours if any issues with traffic / trains / however you are travelling ?)

So I find that a few messages and then arrangements to meet. I messaged one guy quite frequently and shared holiday pics etc and completely regretted it as he seemed to always have a reason not to meet up and the impression I got was that he liked the idea of a girlfriend but in a slightly fantasy way

Another reason to delay meeting someone is because you're seeing others and have them in a pecking order, that's the nature of OLD

I’d do a week or 2 texting then call or FaceTime before travelling so far to meet. You’ll know from that if the conversation flows, if it does you’ll most likely enjoy the meet up even if it doesn’t develop into a relationship.

I’d set my filters to a similar distance but I did Bumble banter and they did a ‘can’t find anyone in your area, let’s look further afield’ and he’s the one I actually liked after months doing OLD! 😂

I think this is fine, especially when there’s a distance involved. However it can become very frustrating and boring if you end up doing this repeatedly with lots of different people who don’t work out for whatever reason (I speak from experience).

OLD for me, led to only texting for a few days and the a coffee/ date zero meet up. Learnt the hard way after around eight horrendous drinks or dinner dates. 17 attempts before I met DH.

You have such misplaced hope while you chat/ until you meet them, so I just reduced that time.

Be aware. Chances are he's had several people he's been messaging. He's already met up with the nearer ones. Noone new come along so now he's meeting you.
I might be wrong but you asked about possible red flags and that would be mine. A lot of men use a scatter gun approach.

I think a couple of weeks is ideal. Less time, and you don’t know anything about them, which is the entire point of OLD, in my opinion. Much longer, though, and you end up with a pen pal.

I hope it goes well for you!

For platonic friends chatting nicely and getting on is fine, for a potential sexual partner fancying them and sexual chemistry is far more important than shared interests. So many people have outdated photos I think meeting up and talking in person asap saves a lot of time. I hate phones and endless texting too

It also means that people who have lied on their profile get found out very quickly before you waste much more time on them. I had a couple of those!

I wouldn't talk to anyone for longer than a few days maximum before suggesting meeting for a quick drink. You don't know if you like them until you meet in person, everyone seems nice in their messages.

I also set my filters to a maximum of 15 miles away. I live a busy life, I don't want to end up travelling for ages just to see someone. I don't have the time for all of that faffing. I want a man that I can meet up with spontaneously for casual drinks after work or whatever, I don't want to have to plan everything. It would feel like a chore or an obligation.

If he lives 3 hours away, you're buggered if you meet and don't like him, it would be a wasted journey and a lot of wasted time. If he lives closer and you don't like him, you've wasted like 30 minutes or an hour if you're being polite.

If you're after a long distance relationship then I guess texting compatibility is important so it makes sense for you personally.

For me, I'd find it boring and a waste of time. I can get along with anyone over text, feeling comfortable in person and sexual compatibility are much more difficult and much more important to me. I met DP the day after we met online. Before he met DS we'd only see eachother 1-2nights a week but we texted and called pretty much all day every day outside of that. Now we live together, are building a house together and raising a family together.

Well it's sometimes the best bit, so just enjoy the texting, and if nothing comes of it, well, you enjoyed the texting.

The mistake is only if you make it more than it is.

They did a study once where they sent worn men's t-shirts to (I'm assuming straight) women to see if they could tell by smell who they'd like. It was pretty accurate. Smell is more important to humans than pictures.

Sniff someone's neck, you'll know. It's why you should meet up.

I mean it could work out.. I’d really enjoyed texting a guy and liked his pictures, once I met him in person I knew in a second I didn’t fancy him in real life. Have you had any video dates? That might be a good start whilst your waiting to meet..

Absolutely pointless starting anything with someone 7 hours away! Jesus Christ.

It was 10 days for me and my OH from matching to meeting. I don’t think it’s wise to jump straight into a date but my past experience says if they drag it out too long they don’t really want to meet. Can lead to a false impression too!
Do you not have any concerns about the distance with this guy? I live an hour’s drive from my OH and that’s doable because we are only free EOW but 7 hour round trip? Busy lives and very long distance would be extremely challenging.

I refer to these types as 'danglers'.

I'd say that's not likely sustainable long term?!

When I was doing OD I met quite a few timewasters who in various ways would give good text but never wanted to meet.

I think it can provide perfect cover for fantasists, people who like the idea of romance but don’t actually have the bottle for it and people who aren’t actually single.

One guy in particular I really thought I clicked with and he endlessly procrastinated about meeting while messaging constantly. There was always a really good reason why he couldn’t. I can’t be 100% certain but I am pretty sure it retrospect he was married or entangled in some way.

There’s nothing wrong with messaging intrinsically but it just delays the process if getting to know someone. I can’t see why you would do that if you weren’t having doubts.

Chemistry is important so I think meeting up is sooner rather than later.

However, 7 hours away? What's the hope?