To ask if there was ever a time in your life

1997. The music of that year was chef's kiss, and I had amazing friends around me (still have most of them). I was early twenties. Then I got married, and every year since then got progressively worse as in the bad outweighed the good (divorced, multiple kids some with issues, then domestic violence and custody battles) Now I may have one day every few months where it all feels rosy, however life circumstances predict it will continue to get worse though I remain hopeful I have not had the best day of my whole life yet. I've started to try and practice gratefulness each day but my karma seems to balance on a knife edge. I was asked to sack someone at work... did it and then knocked into a family heirloom and smashed it...

It was in Jersey in the Summer of 2015 with my husband swimming in the sea off Beauport Bay and it was just magic. That afternoon my life was absolutely golden 🤩
Age 48 at the time, kids grown up.

I consider 'moments'. Moments of perfection & tranquility and I'm in awe when they happen, everything is just as it should rather than perfect seasons of life, I've never had that.

I’m pretty close now. I do suffer from some anxiety but I’m sort of learning to cope with it. Happily married, happily child-free by choice. Love where I live, love my job, family nearby. Not rolling in money but comfortable enough to not be worrying month to month. I don’t want to live a flashy life with big cars and mansions and holidays to Dubai.

This really. I basically live my life in this state, changing things as necessary when they’re not working for me any more, to soon get back to this state.

It’s a lot to do with perspective. Both of these statements about my life are true:
• I am excited about work. My 3 kids are joyous and delightful and make every day better. I couldn’t ask for more from my husband. I have time for myself and loads of fun things to do, some amazing things coming up this year. I like myself and my tenacity and people like me etc etc etc
• I am in constant pain every day. We have no family support at all. The kids stress me out and mess up the house every day, it’s a constant battle to keep things ticking over. We can’t have nice things as someone just ruins them. Family meals are a daily nightmare. Etc etc etc

A lot of it comes down to perspective IMO.

Yes - under the age of 8, before we moved house / area.

And then again when my DS was little, but past the “newborn arg” stage.

Yes. Late 40s.

Most of my life. Sometimes you have to steer your own ship to find happiness instead of letting life just happen to you.

No, but I wouldn’t expect it. I’m ambitious, restless and easily bored.

Nope, on the whole my life hasn't been easy & the good times have been fleeting.

So much so that I can't properly enjoy it when it's good as I'm always anticipating the next hurdle, however large or small it may be.

That being said, I'd still choose my life over anyone else's.

1996. I was 15. Life peaked in 1996.

My early-mid 20s were fantastic. In my (at the time) dream job, in that initial passionate phase of my relationship with now-DH, enjoying huge perks of our careers (travel, expenses, social life etc). I felt like all my dreams had come true.

I had a baby at 27, who has complex additional needs. He is the best thing that ever happened to he, but having him definitely brought an abrupt end to my fantasy lifestyle!

I’m 47 now and feeling quite happy and lucky with where I’m at abd very aware that this is a golden moment in my life. Parents both still alive and reasonably healthy. Happy marriage. Kids still at home and we have a good relationship. I’m doing well in my (second) career. I feel lucky. I know life can throw up major curve balls at any moment, so I count my blessings.

Yes.
There have been lots of 'moments'.
But, as a pp said, you realise that of course no life is 'perfect'.
All lives have ups and downs, peaks and troughs.

Perfect is relative to your expectations. If you count your blessings and always try to make the best of things and be optimistic then I think it's possible to think things are pretty good in some less than perfect situations.

I've lost my mum, dad, best friend and more recently my darling dog.

But that said, I have a beloved and loving husband, good friends, we are all in good health, a nice little home and garden, spring is here and I have enough of all the things I need.

That's perfect enough for me and I am very grateful for every second of that.

Yes but it was very fleeting. I remember driving along with my favourite song playing, the sun was out and I was falling in love. Two days later I was driving the other way tears as I had been dumped. I just always remember that perfect moment and how happy and content I felt.

Yes. Most of my 30’s when I was newly married, travelled lots, my kids were little and cute, and my dad was still alive. I’m sure I had bad days but I remember that time as being pretty golden.

Now early 50s, like many others I have the triple whammy of teenagers, menopause and elderly relatives. Frankly it’s all a bit shit.

No.

I have several major illnesses and have had since teens.

That's not to say I'm not happy - I have definite moments of joy and on the whole my life is much better than it was 5 years ago but no-one would choose my life given my situation.

No.

Well define perfect?
There are things in my life which I wish were different (bereavement, estrangement, unresolved childhood trauma - you know, the run of mill stuff that most people have experienced by the time they hit 40)…. But they have always been there and always will be. I will always grieve for people I love who have died for example.

And things like realising my parents are aging and have alignments, I worry about them… but these aren’t things we can change. It is the natural progression of life.

It doesn’t stop me loving and enjoying my life as it is now. At a surface level the only thing I would change would be to have slightly more time to myself, just a few more hours a week. I am genuinely very happy. The last 7/8 years have been great for the most part. Mid 40s now

I’ve felt this way since leaving a stressful job to a wfh role that’s hugely flexible, although a Lot! less money - so, about 4 years.
I’m no longer tired all the time and wake feeling content each morning without an alarm.
I’m slightly older than you, but I think a large part is having a smaller circle of friends now; the ability to say no more easily, and simply being able to rest when I need to; eat and exercise when I feel like it…(appreciate this is easier said than done if you have little people in the house!) but I think seeing to your body’s physical needs intuitively has a profound effect on your general psyche and sense of well-being ‘behind the scenes’, which might lead to that peaceful state you remember from your childhood.

I also live quite a simple - some would say boring!- life, but it’s calm and gentle and cosy :)

That said, there have been "perfect" moments in imperfect situations and vice versa dotted around since. Rose tinted (or cynical, I have those too..!) glasses probably have a lot to do with people's perceptions of the past. And it's how you feel at the time, not what objectively is going the "right" way for you. Objectively I never have and probably never will have what you are asking about op, not will most people. It's about valuing the moments for their own sake as they arise.

Newly married. Both gorgeous, mid 20s. Shagged at will. Materially we didn't have what we have now but we didn't need that. DC1 arrived a year later and it was emotional but blissful. We are still happy and we have 'more' now (and the pressures which go with it) but those few years were special ❤️

And to be honest just after I had DD, I was in a complete baby bubble. I didn’t have it with DS.

The Christmas just gone.

DS had just turned three and was absolutely delightful, excited about everything and lovely. DD was five months and soooo lovely and snuggly.

They are still delightful and snuggly but DD is trying to walk and crawl and so cute but a bit exhausting and DS is in the throes of threenager so things are a bit trickier!

I had about 30 years when I was very aware I'd had a very charmed life with very little adversity and always felt it couldn't last.