Clare's Law - police visit, normal?

So sorry you find yourself in this situation. I hope he and his obviously weird family move on since you hadn’t been seeing him long. How this his relatives justify contacting you? Anyway, good to hear the Police are taking your safety seriously 💐

Can you go and stay with family/friends until you meet with police next week? Someone he doesn't know the address of

I edited and I think it lost the link. It’s the Hollie Guard app.

From the limited details shared, this man appears to be very controlling and is mobilising his mum and sister - who may live in fear of him too.
Mentioning the police before concrete support is in place might not be the safest course of action right now.

This app might be helpful for you OP.

It basically turns your phone into a little personal safety device.
I installed it because I live in a remote area and it’s made me feel a lot safer when walking anywhere in the dark. You could also put it on your daughters phone just in case.
it records any incidents where you might need proof and sends out alerts if you are ever in a dangerous situation.

I wish more people knew about this app because it offers great protection if you are vulnerable.

I'm sorry you're going through this, but don't be afraid to share (some age appropriate) details with your daughter. She's at a very impressionable age, and I think teaching her what is unacceptable in a relationship, that it's OK to end it if you're not happy etc.... is a good thing. It's shit that you're going through this, but actions speak louder than words.
Best of Luck 💐

I hope you're OK op, you sound really switched on, your dd is lucky to have you.

I'm glad we have Clare's Law but we wouldn't need it as much if we had proper sentencing! If this man is such a danger to op and/or her daughter, so much that police have to swoop in within 24h of her doing the request and she's advised to fortify her home, why tf is he roaming free?! Wouldn't it be safer for everyone if men like this were locked up. Grr

I can tell you that it's DV perps who've often been subject to MARAC and MAPPA that are flagged up. I can't give exact details of how it works, but it will say something along the lines of "consider Clare's law for future partners".

IE, there is info they are prepared to share if they're asked.

I'm sorry lovely, he's got serious form if they're prepared to make disclosure.

How long were you with him?

Well done for trusting your gut OP and going through with all this it’s not easy

Sounds very likely there are significant concerns about this man that couldn’t wait until your appointment. Well done on extracting yourself so early on.

Oh OP, you must be feeling so unsettled. Even though you're a stranger I'm so proud of you for getting rid of him, sticking to it and getting a Clare's Law application done. I hope he fucks off now and that you can be safe and enjoy your home again.

I don't want to alarm you any further but do have a good chat with your daughter about any interactions she's had with him. It may be that he has offences against children in the past - they wouldn't necessarily tell you about that through Clare's law but having visited your home and found you have a young female child, there may be more they need to tell you. I hope not.

I've done 2 Claire's laws OP. Both times they were bad men & I was shocked. But the police never came out to my house so this is a massive warning. Take heed.

Sorry you're having to deal with this OP. What a nightmare. What bothers me is that he'll move on and snare another woman who will have to deal with the same dysfunctional and dangerous behaviour. He, and men like him, should be branded on their forehead to save other women the trauma.

Maybe there is a case against him and they may want a statement from you about how he’s been with you. Think of this is soemthing you would want to do before you go there and they take you by surprise .
I think they will disclose their reasons of concern

I had a very very similar experience to this years ago as well! Right down to the telling friends things I'd said about them and contacting family etc. I lived in another country at the time but we were both from UK so was even more bizzare for him to
Contact friends/family he had never met! Very strange men seem to do these things!

Sounds like you are doing everything right to keep you and your daughter safe OP. I hope Monday goes well. Do you have someone you can take with you? You may need some support or someone to help remember all the information.

You ARE being rude. The way to honour her is to use the law to protect women, not to nitpick people in vulnerable situations.

Realised my post was not helpful at all. I also had a ring doorbell fitted and when I went to the police, they said he had previous and I should be careful. Fortunately I moved shortly after although I still think I see him around my area which is unlikely as we’re from different cities. The police weren’t very helpful if I’m honest although I appreciate nothing actually happened. They said block him/everyone related to him which I did and I continued to update them when he would contact other people like my friends and family and they would of course block him. It really was frightening the lengths he went to. I had a breakdown when HR contacted me to say he’d spoken with them although they believed my version of events and were very supportive. They cause so much damage and don’t even care.

I had an awful experience a few years ago, it sounds very similar. So many red flags that I ignored and then when I finished it, the suicide threats - pictures and videos - blackmail, calls to family members and workplace, attempted to tell my friends things I’d said about them - true and untrue - and basically tried to ruin my life. It’s absolutely traumatised me and I don’t think I’ll ever trust again. Sending all my love and I hope it turns out to be routine so you don’t have to worry any more 🩷

Well done for trusting your instincts OP.

Just for info…. I applied for a Clare’s law ref my partner (now definitely ex) and was told they’d do a check and get back to me. I’m still waiting for even a call from them let alone them turning up to do safeguarding.

i must add that this may be due to police being called to mine and him being removed this past weekend, but I shouldn’t think this would cancel out the Clare’s law request?

Well done on your prompt action, OP.

And well done the Police. Nice to hear they are doing things well for once.

And yes another one who says thank fuck for Claire’s Law.