Clare's Law - police visit, normal?

I am really impressed. It’s good to see this is working

Well done OP, I'm glad you trusted your gut and will have your friend with you at the police station.

Tell your neighbours so they can keep an eye out for this nutter.

Thank you

It means that he has a history which is possibly concerning.....
You will only get a disclosure if you are still in relationship with him.
If he is a VISOR perp it means he has a history of serious violence or sexual history

You listened to what your gut was telling you and dumped him. That's a great first step for you and your daughter. THe Clare's Law check will solidify your gut feelings, obviously, as the police made a safeguarding check. Please follow their advice about staying safe while you try to make him stay away.

You say you have good neighbours, do tell them that if they see him/his car outside for them to call the police.

Sorry it didn’t add the link when I posted and I couldn’t edit, it’s the Hollie guard app.

I posted separately but in case you didn’t see then here it is. I think it could be useful for women and if you have teenage daughters.

Well done for listening to your gut, OP. I'm glad the police have been useful, and that Claire's law has worked for you.

Keep doing what you're doing. I'd block his sister and mother too. Whole family sounds deranged.

Removed as was on wrong thread.

What app is that? It sounds interesting!

Please do not take this advice! It could put you in danger. Block the mother and sister. Let the police know you are being harassed.

If you met him online can you contact the website for when he goes looking for further victims!

Can you get some one to be with you after the proper Claire's law disclosure?
It will help as you will be feeling really shit.

They only disclose this information to help people leave unsafe relationships.

I know from experience. Take care

OP do go to the appointment and see what they need to say. It may be as simple as following up that you have cut ties, a further safeguarding check, or it may be to give you more information or ask for a statement. You just won't know and we can't guess, I know it must be hard to wait.

I'm glad you have a ring doorbell and have blocked him. Please have a further think about security. Routines/routes of yours and your dd's that you may need to change up to keep you both safe.

I once had an ex that approached my friends that he'd never met(!) and told them a secret I'd told him. I felt so hurt and upset.

I've had another ex "bump into" my mum when she was on a rare night out and she struggled to get away from him.

These men know no boundaries and their risk extends further than you. Review any times or places he may try to approach you/your dd/your family either in person and on the phone and try and troubleshoot.

At your appointment on Monday, ask the police what can be done if he doesn't cease trying to contact you. Get them to tell you the steps for things like restraining orders/injunctions just so you have that knowledge in case you need it.

Oh my goodness, these Wretched, beastly men.

I too had a lovely friend, she was living with a handsome but violent man whom she was ''under the spell of''.

It was absolutely awful- we tried to make her see sense, but she just couldn't see past his appalling behaviour, oh he could charm the birds off the trees if he was in a good mood- but in a bad mood, she was hospitalised a couple of times.

They split up lots of times, he has a dog that she loved, and he used the dog as an excuse to get back together.

They were separated for years....then bam..got back together again, and had a child.

I lost touch with her, and there is no online presence at all...I just hope she is ok.

Some women are ''entranced'' by men like this..They deserve so much better.

You’ve done exactly the right thing OP, I’m so sorry that the first person you took a chance on in seven years turned out to the a wrong’un. Do stay safe and alter those close to you.

Most women are very sensitive to the potential threat of male violence so actual acts of DV aren’t always necessary to ensure the woman toes the line. Coercive control is now recognised but it is not always easy to present sufficient evidence for conviction and a suitable sentence.Few stalkers seem to receive a reasonable period of imprisonment which will act as a deterrent and protect other potential victims. OP your ex may be in the group who the police know to be a significant threat but who have yet to be convicted.
Unfortunately some women will feel because there has not yet been DV that the police will not be interested so well done you in being proactive.

@MyPerfectHotel Well done for having the strength to get so far already.

If any of your neighbours or relatives are keyholders for you it might be worth a quiet word with them to make sure your ex can't take them in with a story of why he needs the key or access. Peace of mind and all that.

I had similar, broke up was NC for 5 years out the blue he sent revenge porn to all my neighbours/work.

Police weren't interested as "couldn't be him had NC to annoy him" don't trust the police ever since

Agree that they've done a great job, here.

He clearly has a pattern of behaviour and they want you to be fully aware of this so you can take steps for your safety.

It's so good to see the system working. All we usually hear are the stories of women being failed.

Hope you're doing OK, OP.

I just want to add a well done to you, too. I know that this will not have been easy, but you have done it!

something made you make the claires law application in the first place... clearly there is something amis with your new partner and you are being safeguarded. the police possibly want to speak to you, to ensure you are safe, to see if you want to make any formal complaints and also put things in place to protect you from a very clearly harmful person and his family

Yeah they wouldn't disclose anything if it wasn't serious.

Ps is your username in ref: to the mobile game? Also a MPH addict!