Clare's Law - police visit, normal?

Log all the times you are contacted by him and his family ( and screenshot messages etc,) as you may need to apply for a Restraining Order and this can be used as evidence to support your application.

Wow really? I've wanted to do one on my ex as I found out some information about him but no way if they check on you every 6 months..

@Bunnyasmyname it's dependant on area and resources as are many things. Some areas will follow up that quickly especially those with initiatives focused on addressing violence against women .. others less so sadly. Re history marker - apologies I thought the op had reported the harassment and pattern of coercive and controlling behaviour! :)

My friend recently did this with the father of her child. She broke up with him before their child was born due to his behaviour.

Police came over and did a meeting, social services came to assess as she has a child with him, although she has never been allowed unattended with him so everything was perfect from their perspective.

She then had a meeting at the station but they did offer it to be done at home. It was rather like an interview in case she wanted to disclose anything. Then she was given in writing the details of an order he had in place and details of why he had flagged up.

They now do checks on her that seem to be every 6 months but again assuming as that is due to them sharing a child.

Hi
Child safeguarding agency I. E. Police, social services policies will prioritise the the safety of any children .There should be support and possibly an inderdict to stop the contact attempts.
I don't think anyone will be heavy handed on you. Work with them and keep yourselves safe

I’m so glad you followed your gut, you have kept you and your daughter safe x

What a great response from the police. Impressive to Claire’s family for getting the law passed. I wonder how many women her life has saved? Is really humbling.

I’d be concerned too OP, but they clearly have your back here. Confident friends or family if you can before your visit, and take all the support you need.

I hope it’s not my EX 😢

they will share necessary information so you can make an informed decision and you will have to sign a non disclosure.

stay safe protect yourself

😴 yup sorry.

Sorry I thought it had added the link and it didn’t, I posted separately afterwards so I’m not sure if you’ve seen it but but it’s the Hollie Guard app.

Well done Op. you have done the right thing. Do not feel any guilt in regards to yourself or your daughter as you went to know.

First of omg you’re so fucking brave. It legitimately took me about four or five attempts get to the submit button and imagine this is the same for most people who do it, especially against someone you care(d) so much about. It feels like a betrayal almost.

I don’t think a police visit had relevance but maybe it’s dependent on your constabulary and the resources they allocate. Mine came back as nothing reportable but an officer was sent round within the hour to talk to me about what happened. Maybe it’s because a child is involved too or did you mention any abuse.

How are so many women still at the hands of these psychopaths, and how are they allowed to get away for the most part unaccountable.

Good luck for Monday💕 Lots of love

@Minimili @PumpkinsAndCoconuts Be careful with your phone if you have the hollie guard app, I set it up and then dropped my phone the day after and without telling me, sent emergency alerts to all my emergency contacts

@MyPerfectHotel The last one, the Love Hotel. I'm gutted it ends there! I was so addicted. Though the constant cash collecting was driving me potty!

"I have had some issues with a relatively new partner (8 months) which have raised some concerns."

Literally the first line of the OP, Pinkypup. Nul points!

It IS unusual, Loley.
and to be visited within 24 hrs is extremely unusual.

Didnt think a history marker could be added when no crime/Police call has been previously logged. Happy to be corrected :)

Hoping your coping OK with this op

the fact the police responded within 24 shows this is high risk, as applications can take as standard up to 28 days unless it’s in need of an urgent disclosure, well done for listening to your gut and making an application.
the red flags that you said also sound like early stages of control, it doesn’t have to be violent and typically violence happens later.
all the best op x

Sorry to hear about your partner OP. It's good that Claire's Law exists. Many men 'fly under the radar' and it's wise advice for all women to trust their judgement when it comes to partners.

I think he has serious stalking issues at best and they want you to install a ring doorbell so that they can take immediate action, such as issuing a restraining order. So I wouldn't block or delete anything if it can be avoided until your meeting. Have you googled him for prosecutions.

Google "[John Smith]", [X court], [convicted]

And see what comes up.

which kind of professionals are going to be at the meeting? Do you know?

This is such a good point, an ex of mine became a full on stalker it's in the process of going through the courts now... my teenage son has only recently told us that the ex had messaged my son through social media and he has only just opened up about it as he didnt want to upset me 😭 he also said he saw him at his secondary school bus stop, we thought coincidentally at the time ,the police now think he was stalking him too as I had moved house to find out where I lived. He ended up trying to break into my property at one point police riot Van's escorted him off. I wish I had done a Claire law when I met him as the red flags you say OP are exactly the same as what I had... especially the crazy accusations about why I called it off, he even msg every man on my fb friends warning them to stay away... I was absolutely mortified

What is the app called please?

Im so glad you listened to your gut, called it off and got the info from the police.

Well done you- you have done everything right.

Re the police. You actually don’t need to say anything to them. I’d go and see what THEY have to say. Then choose to respond or not depending on how you feel.

It's not unusual to have a visit or be asked to go into the station. Its good practice to do this face to face. There will be certain pieces of information that are disclosable to you and they will go through this with you when you visit. Information you have given may also be considered and will help inform risks around this person for other women. They will also likely give you details of support services and depending on the level of concern they may also provide safety equipment. You can ask for a history marker to be placed on your address so if you ever had reason to call police it is flagged up. Well done for being so aware of the red flags OP. It can be really hard for people to see those sort of indicators and even harder to act on them when the perpetrator makes threats around their mental health.