Clare's Law - police visit, normal?

MyPerfectHotel · 2024-04-17T16:13:06+00:00

I have had some issues with a relatively new partner (8 months) which have raised some concerns. On the back of this I have made a Clare's Law application. Within 24 hours the police attended my property unannounced for a safeguarding check. I have since received a telephone call and been given some information which has sealed the deal for me. However they now want me to come into the station next week to discuss their findings. What will this involve? I am feeling nervous about finding out even more information or will they just go over the ins and outs of what happened with the 2 incidents they have reported to me? Thank you in advance. * [Typo in title edited at OP's request]

HelenaWaiting · 17/04/2026 13:36

Reported.

Frogball · 17/04/2026 10:08

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

TheExclusiveSandwich · 17/04/2026 05:16

@Frogball this thread is two years old

HelenaWaiting · 16/04/2026 17:45

Frogball · 16/04/2026 17:40

The police are not allowed to give information about the person on the phone, they would lose their job! They can turn up to your house to do a welfare check but again they would not be allowed to tell you in person. The procedure is strictly followed but yes they will speak to you in person after the checks and you will have to sign a form to say you won't discuss the information they give you. They have to have a multi-agency meeting first before any information is given to you and so never would they tell you on the phone,never.

Can you not revive zombie threads please?

Frogball · 16/04/2026 17:40

The police are not allowed to give information about the person on the phone, they would lose their job! They can turn up to your house to do a welfare check but again they would not be allowed to tell you in person. The procedure is strictly followed but yes they will speak to you in person after the checks and you will have to sign a form to say you won't discuss the information they give you. They have to have a multi-agency meeting first before any information is given to you and so never would they tell you on the phone,never.

ImCamembertTheBigCheese · 23/04/2024 22:35

💐

ReadingSoManyThreads · 23/04/2024 16:53

Well done for attending. Glad you've made the best choices. Best of luck.

Startingagain100 · 23/04/2024 13:41

Well done for trusting your gut OP. And for going through with this CL application.

Deep breath and move on hopefullyly

Lougle · 23/04/2024 13:22

I'm glad the police gave you clarity. Well done for listening. It's not easy to ignore feelings.

BoudiccaOfSuburbia · 23/04/2024 13:13

Thanks for the update OP. Really sorry that this whole thing has happened to you.

Have you told your Dd to tell you if he approaches her?

Iamawomenphenominally · 23/04/2024 12:46

Im glad you attended and have more clarity. It's great you listened to your instincts and followed through with seeking all the facts and ending things.

Sending you a hug OP. You've done the right thing.

Olivegardenishome · 23/04/2024 12:43

Thinking of you. Hug

Original poster

MyPerfectHotel · 23/04/2024 12:27

Hi

Thank you for checking in on me, it's very kind.

I had the interview, my friend wasn't allowed in with me so I was alone.

There is a little more to add, the ex made contact with me on Saturday, I bumped into him in a local shop, he lives close to me unfortunately. He began pleading with me to give things another chance and in a fit of exasperation I told him I had made the CL application. He confirmed both incidents but gave a very different story behind each one.

I told him I didn't want to know and if he contacts me or speaks to me again, I will be calling the police.

One of the incidents was an armed robbery 10 years ago, involving a knife.

He said he was only there to protect the victim of the crime.

Police confirmed he was there, and that he was restraining the victim.

There is more but I am not allowed to talk about any of it as all charges were dropped. I also worry about revealing recognisable information.

Anyway, safe to say I made the right decision. It still hurts though.

OP posts:

ButtonMoonLoon · 22/04/2024 22:32

How did the meeting go today?

Fraaahnces · 21/04/2024 16:44

Hi @MyPerfectHotel - I have been thinking of you over the weekend. I imagine today’s going to be very tough. I thought maybe if you can imagine you have us all by your side - or an army of mumsnetters at your beck and call, maybe it would give you some support to get through it. Big hugs.

Grrrpredictivetex · 21/04/2024 08:21

I do hope you and your daughter are safe @MyPerfectHotel.

AnnieSnap · 20/04/2024 22:32

peakygold · 20/04/2024 12:26

Is there a normal man out there, I wonder?

I have one. There must be others!

Longdarkcloud · 20/04/2024 16:55

@peakygold If you work in any profession where you come into contact with women and children who have suffered abuse from me then you do get the feeling that there are few that can be trusted and if you haven’t personally previously suffer abuse you start to wonder “what is normal”. I feel that with age and experience that I’m a good judge of character but have been saddened when I’ve discovered a well trusted friend of many years, a pillar of the community, is a sex offender. All you can do is keep your wits about you and use such aids as Clare’s Law, as the OP here has done.

peakygold · 20/04/2024 12:26

Is there a normal man out there, I wonder?

BodyKeepingScore · 19/04/2024 22:04

CantFindMyMarbles · 19/04/2024 19:13

I’m a safeguarding lead within my school. If you have information that shows you or your children are at risk….and you continue the relationship then there is a high risk social services will get involved. This is because living in an abusive home, whether children witness the abuse or not, has long lasting negative impacts for the children.
go to the police station, speak to them and ask their advice on how to move on.

OP has left him? And contacted the police though?

AnnieSnap · 19/04/2024 22:01

CantFindMyMarbles · 19/04/2024 19:13

I’m a safeguarding lead within my school. If you have information that shows you or your children are at risk….and you continue the relationship then there is a high risk social services will get involved. This is because living in an abusive home, whether children witness the abuse or not, has long lasting negative impacts for the children.
go to the police station, speak to them and ask their advice on how to move on.

Why have you posted this? You can’t have read the OP first post 🙄🤷‍♀️

ThistleTits · 19/04/2024 21:42

@MyPerfectHotel my daughter was phoned and visited at home. I think the latter was because she was quite upset on the phone.
You have no reason to be nervous about the interview at the station. It could be to update their records by your experience. Please try not to worry. Well done for requesting Claire's law.

TheExclusiveSandwich · 19/04/2024 21:17

CantFindMyMarbles · 19/04/2024 19:13

I’m a safeguarding lead within my school. If you have information that shows you or your children are at risk….and you continue the relationship then there is a high risk social services will get involved. This is because living in an abusive home, whether children witness the abuse or not, has long lasting negative impacts for the children.
go to the police station, speak to them and ask their advice on how to move on.

No shit

cremebrulait · 19/04/2024 20:59

Good for you for using the law!!

There are signs that indicate level of potential risk. Threat of suicide is serious. The previous incident could have been DV. Some are well behaved for a LONG time.

CantFindMyMarbles · 19/04/2024 19:13

I’m a safeguarding lead within my school. If you have information that shows you or your children are at risk….and you continue the relationship then there is a high risk social services will get involved. This is because living in an abusive home, whether children witness the abuse or not, has long lasting negative impacts for the children.
go to the police station, speak to them and ask their advice on how to move on.