To reply that my child isn’t potty trained?

We had no idea how to go about it so followed 3daypottytraining.com to the letter and it worked.

We did it over a bank holiday weekend and that was pretty much it. Our DS hasn’t had a single accident since following this when he was just turned 2.

We may have been lucky but definitely worth a try as the results we got were amazing.

He absolutely was not bribe-able re dummies until that moment. You will find the moment.

My son had a dummy (several) until 4. Near impossible to persuade/bribe/coerce. One day we offered him a new DS game for all the dummies and he said yes. That was it. Think about what would bribe him.

I think you need to have a back up plan in case he hasn’t got it by then

but it’s no biggie generally. Mine didn’t get it properly until nearly 4 but once he did we never had another accident. There is a good chance you can get it nailed between now and September. Where does he go currently now and can they help?

It's April. Keep up the trying.

He sounds like my DS. He got wees fairly quickly at the age of 3 but poos were an absolute nightmare. He just did them in his pants for literally months and months. He's nearly 4 and much better but still has occasional small accidents where he starts to go in his pants and realises that he's not meant to.

Things that helped to turn the corner were:

• Keeping an eye out for him going behind the sofa then whisking him to the toilet really quickly.
• Sitting him on the toilet for as long as we could keep him on there and sometimes he would go. For ages he hated the feeling of actually doing a poo but if you were there anyway and he had to go, sometimes he would do it.
• A much better treat than chocolate buttons.
• Reducing the amount of fruit he ate. This actually makes a big difference - more than one piece of fruit a day and we will definitely get an accident.
• Giving up on the potty. He never once went in there.
• I didn't tell him off but he did see me get upset at times when there was a lot of mess and I think that did actually help. I told him that I really wanted to him to use the toilet - so a positive of what I did want him to do rather than a negative of what I didn't want him to do, which also helped a bit.

Any SEN suspicions OP? The 2 boys I know who struggled with potty training both have autism. They both did get there eventually during their reception year. Neither had accidents at school though but tended to hold in their poos til home time

Do you think he might have additional needs? You haven't said. If your child does have AN then school have to take him and have protocol in place for changing, the Equality Act could be your friend here.

Deep breath @whattosayy You have got plenty of time.
Two potties downstairs and no clothes on lower half worked for my dc.
Does he enjoy say, porridge or wheatabix or bran flakes? Does he eat fruit with skin on, like apple slices. Healthy fibre and fluids.
Is he nervous of the big toilet, does he have a trainer seat and a step stool in the bathroom?
Bribery works well. Chocolate buttons or box of raisins, whatever gets him engaged and excited.
Sorry if I have missed if you have already said.

OP, my daughter "got" poos a lot later than wees. I totally understand your frustration. She was over 3.5 and even then, any stress or anxiety, and she'd have accidents. I remember being really panicked about how school would handle it and they were super reassuring, especially about how much growing up small children can manage in 5 months.

For us, what cracked it was sitting her in the potty in front of the TV 10 minutes after eating, for around 10 minutes. It wasn't perfect, sometimes 10 minutes was too late! But it started to catch more and eventually she made the connection (with very little warning mind, "mummy, need poo" meant right that second!).

It was a lovely locum GP who suggested this, after I'd gone to check re impaction etc.

Ignore everyone who’s just here to try to make you feel like shit: this happens to a lot of children, it happened to my niece in fact. The difference is that in the country they live in children start school at 6 so it’s way less stressful for the parents. I agree that booking an appointment with the GP to rule out any potential health issues is important, otherwise just keep going, he’s going to get it soon. You’re doing everything right, some children just take a little bit longer than others.

So he isn’t starting reception in September, he is starting pre school? Will there be younger children there? If so I don’t think it’s such a problem as there will staff there who change nappies. The issue with school is that there isn’t. You could try taking a week off work and going nappy free for a week, and hopefully he will ‘get’ it in that time.

Mine didn’t potty train until they were nearly 4 (3y 10m). I’d tried on and off with it from 18m, but it just didn’t work! DS just decided one day that he wasn’t wearing nappies, DD followed suit a few days later. Sure, they had the odd accident, but they got there.

They just skipped the potty and went straight to the toilet. Does your DS know when he’s going to poo? And do you have the kids seat on the toilet? We had one with a little step and seat with handles, my two loved it.

They were in a pre-school nursery setting, and the workers were ok with them still being in nappies.

I don’t think it’s gross or that there’s something ‘wrong’ with your child, I think some just take longer to get it. It’s no biggie!

School nurseries are very used to taking kids who are "almost" trained. It's not ideal, but not always a deal breaker.

That being said, it's only mid-April, and in little kid terms, September is an age away. Think of it like a percentage. In September he'll be like 13% older than he is now. That's a lot! To compare to us, say you're 30 years old, if we made you 13% older, you'd be nearly 35! That's a lot!
A lot can happen in 5 months with little kids - but don't stop working on it.

I’m an early years teacher, it’s absolutely fine if children aren’t reliably trained when they start school, especially pre-school. Some children just aren’t ready or don’t get it by 4. Dealing with pee and poo accidents are part of teaching early years. Please don’t stress it, you still have 5 months to try and crack it during which time a lot can change but if it doesn’t his school will be used to accidents.

I can completely understand you.

My son will be 4 in August and will start school in September.

We've been potty training for ages - he's good with wee now, but still has frequent poo accidents. I wouldn't even call it an accident - he just squats down and does a poo in his pants. It's really frustrating.

Today he peed in the garden and he giggled because he thought it was funny.

There are all sorts of reasons why some children are later to potty train than ‘parent neglect’.
OP, I’d visit your GP or Health visitor to check that theres no physical reason for this before you try anything else. mainly though, dont panic!!!

What a crock of shit...

One of mine would not poop anywhere unless stood up in a pull up until the April they were about to start school - so well over 4 years old. So always went after nursery and after tea. We did make them go to the toilet and do it and help us wipe themselves etc but honestly I wished I didn’t stress. One day they came home, said they needed a poo. I got a pull up and they said ‘no mummy - on the toilet’. And that was that. Keep encouraging - honestly most people I know have had issues with pooing in the potty/toilet.

If he is at all constipated, he will have trouble feeling the signal to go. If you don’t feel a GP trip is warranted, at least consider making sure his diet has him moving well. We added some prunes because dd enjoyed them as a snack anyway.

some children don’t like the feeling of sitting on the toilet, even with a child seat. Are you using that or a plastic child’s potty?

I would actually consider scattering a few plastic potties throughout the house. Make it easier to get to. Then do pants free time on the weekends. Again, easier to get to the potty in time.

Then immediate reward if poo makes it to the correct spot. I know some people do small candies, but with dd who has asd candies did not work, so we had a prize shelf. Just little trinkets. Often taken from birthday party bags or from sets that were broken up. Stickers, a toy car. We started with yay, one poop, then after that was successful for a while, switched it to every other poop, then every 3, etc. I used a chart and when it was full and I printed a new one, it would just happen to have more squares on the row that had to be filled until a prize got earned.

I never did no accidents because failures are going to happen. Reward success and just be matter of fact that accidents happen and move past them.

preschool will be used to the occasional accident. You have 5 months. You will get there.

He is still very young I think you are panicking and a doctor would just tell you to wait before they do anything.
And although six months may seem a short time a three year old can develop a lot in that time.

OP, you are not alone! My DD is 3.5 and has been out of nappies since Sept. She got the hang of wees pretty quickly but to date still poos herself most days. She starts
school in Sept so we are under pressure to sort it.

Tried all the same things you have with no joy as she didn’t know she needed to go. She was pooing little bits multiple times most days so it never occurred to us she could be constipated and it was actually a poster on a similar thread that suggested it.

Turns out she she was massively blocked up and we’re 5 weeks into treatment (Laxido) and she is starting to recognise when she needs to go. Now she is mostly only soiling at nursery as they obviously don’t watch her as closely as we do.

If they are constipated their colon expands and they don’t get the signal they need to go.

@whattosayy you need to keep him home for a few days, absolutely no tv and keep him totally naked from the waist down. When hes on tip toes holding it in you take him to the toilet, rinse and repeat.