Feeling uneasy when tradespeople come in to do work

For me, none of that. For me, it's the stress/worry about whether they're doing it right, what they're breaking, the mess they're making, etc. A succession of poor experiences means we actively avoid having tradespeople in to do stuff and do as much as we can ourselves, and check what they're doing the few times we have to have someone in.

I.e. a while ago, we had a useless gas engineer install a new boiler. He showed us it appearing to work and then made a quick getaway. Within minutes of him leaving, it was showing error messages, which we managed to clear by following the instruction book, but then the hot water would cut out after 30 seconds or so with a different error message. He refused to come back, blocked our phone number, etc.

Got someone else in, and found the gas supply pipe pressure was too low which was causing it to cut out when working hard, i.e. providing hot water. He also pointed out the installation checklist hadn't been completed nor signed off. So we had to pay him to do it all again, during which he found the pipework wasn't fitted to the right places in the boiler, so he had to change that too!

When my MIL needed a new boiler a couple of months ago, I went to stay in with her during the two days the engineer was there. Obviously I couldn't check the detail of what he was connecting to where, but I knew enough to ask him to confirm he'd checked the gas supply pressure, and also to check he'd signed off the installation checklist and certificate. Also went round all the radiators with him, and had him stand next to me as I checked all the hot times produced boiling water for at least a couple of minutes each. In the event, all was good, as it's been no problem in the couple of months since installation. But experiencing the shoddy installation ourselves gave us enough knowledge to check MIL's engineer was doing things right.

For me, I can't completely relax when there's someone working in my house, but I wouldn't say I'm uneasy. I make them tea and coffee, offer snacks and let them get on with it.

What you mean by 'uneasy', exactly? Do you mean you just feel a bit awkward and embarrassed about having to make small talk and just feel you can't relax because there's someone else there? Or do you mean that you're actually scared they might attack you?

I think the former is very common - most people don't feel totally relaxed when there's a stranger in their house.

The latter is probably more unusual, although I'm sure there are plenty of women who do feel that way, because we are taught to think about our safety around men (this is a good thing) but sometimes in a way that's incredibly disproportionate and massively overstates the risks (this is a bad thing).

I understand how you feel. I had builders in for months and I found it very hard to work while they were here. And they were all lovely! It's just having someone in your space. I do not feel uneasy from a safety point of view however.

Likewise, that's what we've done, but over the years, most have now retired and it's a constant battle to find one that (a) will actually turn up as agreed and (b) will do a job to a better standard than I could have done myself!

All we have left is an excellent electrician - an older guy who's taken on an apprentice who's being trained very well to be considerate and reliable - a lovely young lad, so hopefully, we'll be able to use him when the older bloke retires. The other is a plasterer who actually manages to make what is one of the messiest jobs into something bareable by not making too much mess - unfortunately, our whole house has now been re-plastered as necessary so we don't have a need for him anymore. As for a plumber, we've got one who is competent at the work, but is a nightmare for being messy, and has no attention to detail - everything he does "looks" shoddy, i.e. taps at funny angles, sloping radiator, wonky pipework, but we put up with it as he's reliable, turns up as promised, and the actual "water/gas" side of things is always right.

When we had our kitchen done we just gave the guy the keys and went on holiday for a week!
He was a neighbour though.

Now DH just does it all, far less stressful.

Obviously, you don't know if, say, an electrician is wiring a new fuseboard correctly or a gas engineering putting a gas fire together properly. But, a lot of the time, you CAN observe what tradesmen are doing, i.e. whether they're fitting the radiator in the right place and level, or whether a gardener is trimming a shrub to the right size/shape, or a decorator is hanging the wallpaper neatly or painting neat edges etc.

As for tidyness, again, depends on the job, but if someone is, say, drilling a hole in a fully furnished room, I'd expect them to put a dustpan under the drill, or if, say, a gas engineer is using spray or lubricant, I'd expect them to put the container on a mat/paper rather than on a brand new cream carpet! In an otherwise empty room, with no furniture, no carpets, etc., then absolutely the tradesman can crack on making as much dust etc as he wants. It's all a matter of context!

We once had a carpet fitter who plonked a can of red bull on our brand new wood fireplace which left a circular stain that was impossible to remove as the liquid was absorbed into the wood.

There's a massive difference between inevitable mess of big messy jobs and sheer sloppiness from lack of care and consideration!

@Teaalwayshelps

i do. I have learnt over time that when I find a great tradesman, I need to keep him.

Just asked my electrical DP who said in his nearly 20 years of being an electrician, he's been tipped once and he found it odd. Definitely not expected!

Or both! I’m nice and welcoming to every tradesperson that comes to my house - and they’re nice to me.

@taxguru how would you know they're doing the job properly? How could you tell say, an electrician, that they are doing their job correctly? And trades often make a mess. They generally tidy it up at the end. You're totally unreasonable if you expect them to make no mess!

I have tipped tradesmen too in the past if they do a good job.
Not sure if it's as much of a thing now as many don't take cash anymore.
Plus the prices have rocketed , so maybe people just don't now?
( not had any significant building work done in years)

Tip???
Are you supposed to tip them?

My DP and FIL are tradesmen and I still feel uneasy when other trades are in the house 😅. I just ask if they want a drink and then leave them alone to do their job.

I watch them to make sure they're doing the job properly, not making too much mess, not breaking things, etc.

I would hate it if my boss watched me all the time for those reasons. It's really off putting.

I will ask tradesmen for tips but watching over them all the time does imply that you don't trust them.

I don't watch them because I think they're going to steal.

I watch them to make sure they're doing the job properly, not making too much mess, not breaking things, etc.

@Bumblebeeinatree they aren't randomly in your house though?

Do you work on construction sites and feel similarly? (Curiosity not a snidey comment I promise)!

I am so glad I found this thread, and that I am not the only person who has a problem with having tradesmen in the house (and I am married, with husband here all the time). Like a PP said, I am always immensely relieved when they have gone.

No I don't think they are going to steal. Like the OP said I feel a bit uncomfortable if they are randomly in the house, but also I am a very practical person, so learn from them and also sometimes have useful input about peculiarities in our house and my experience, I am an Civil Engineer by trade.

I used to.

But in my last house i had the roof off and a loft conversion done and it took 16 weeks with 4/5 guys in regularly 5 days a week. It sort of cured me.

I got through a lorry load of Tate and Lyle that summer (for tea and coffee) and got to know about their lives in quite a lot of detail as they'd come down one at a time and sit at my kitchen table and eat their sarnies and chew my ear off. They would moan a lot about each other 😂Monday mornings was catch up on the weekend goings on, and i was unofficial marriage guidance for one of them and he worked stuff out quite well by the end of it 🙂

They were nice guys but i was glad to get my home back.

My DH is a tradesman who used to do residential work so i have an insight into their side of it a bit and that helps.

If it was a big job like that I obviously wouldn't hover all the time, we have had extensions done etc, but a boiler repair or something I would watch.

I'm weird as well then, or lucky.

I hate it, even the nice ones.

If a tradesperson made me feel uneasy, I wouldn't have them in the house. It's a bit awkward to try and be around whilst having work done but there's a difference between it being slightly awkward to you being slightly afraid