To feel like cancelling whole party due to stress?

From a practical point of view, I think the first thing to do is establish exactly who has received the 'additional' invitations...even if you politely explain to those who have responded to you, there may be some who fail to RSVP but turn up anyway (terrible manners, but not unknown!).

Youngsters can be quite naive about the logistics and cost of planning a party - you know your daughter so you know the level of understanding as to how much chaos it would cause she may or may not have had.

The natural consequences of this will be that she will probably have upset a few of her peers and will have to deal with the repercussions of this. I wouldn't cancel the party, nor would I facilitate the extra guests (and it doesn't sound like this would be a possibility anyway).

@partypoopp what age is dd

So she's been devious and you're going to reward this by allowing the party to go ahead?

Good luck when she's 16 then.

I thought it was funny personally. Naughty but funny.

I'd also find it funny to make my child do jobs to "earn" the money to pay for the extra guests.

Good grief, do you always take everything so seriously? And you're not the only one! What a po-faced lot some of you are.

This is really pretty hideous behaviour depending on her age. It’s not clever at all. It’s at best selfish. Most importantly she needs to understand the potential consequences of her behaviour- disappointing kids who thought they had been invited.

Sorry what?

What age is DD?

Time for mum to start being the grown-up.

You now have contact details of all the parents. Send a group message out to all parents explaining exactly what happened.

You had limited numbers. Your daughter wanted other close friends to attend and went behind your back, inviting other friends, not realising the consequences.

List the children on the original list who are invited. Apologise that daughter changed her mind so many times and wanted everyone to be there - but the only fair way is to stick to the original list.

Just apologise, apologise, apologise.

State it's a learning curve for both you and your daughter.

If you do it right, you'll get a lot of support and sympathy from the other parents.

But that's assuming some of the invites are in childish hand-writing - and your daughter did this.

If something has happened and you can no longer afford a party - just say grandparent illness/ family issue and cancel. And say you'll make it up to everyone next year. And move on.

But PS: Never, ever accept responsibility for a child's sibling. A;ways, always state that it's not a problem, but the parent obviously needs to stay, pay and be responsible for the other sibling. That is always non-negotiable.

How old is she? I think my just turned 7 year could have done something similar not quite realising the cost/ logistics of parties (his only barrier would be they he wouldn't be arsed to actually write any invites). My 9 year old would know this was wrong and naughty.

Tell the other children's parents what happened and apologise. Make an excuse to soften it if need be saying its all already booked for x people and my daughter knew she could only invite her very best friends.

The problem here is the venue won’t accommodate extras.

There is a funny side but I think there is a balance between not punishing her too much and letting her get away with it entirely.

Though an 11 year old is much more capable of understanding, in advance, the financial implications of what they are doing. A 6 year old, not so much.

Can’t possibly comment without knowing what age she is.
Why the reluctance to say?

I get the impression it's infant school age, otherwise it wouldn't be an organised party with paper invitations. Its hilarious, whether 6 or 11 imo, and goodness know you need a sense of humour when raising children.

There are two options, both which may have consequences for DD but do deal with the problem. Of course you need to explain about the cost and limits on numbers venues impose. I'm assuming DD is young enough that she's not been naughty with it.

I'd either let the parents of the DD initiated invitees know that DD gave out invitations without consent and their child wasn't invited due to limitations on numbers, so sorry. Or I'd explain to DD that rather than not inviting those she gave extra invitations to, we need to change the party because we can't pay for that many people. Then maybe change to a simpler party with games at home or in the park. The latter is probably the gentler option all round.

Either way DD is going to find friends disappointed - because of the venue change or because of not getting a real invitation. I can't see how she's not going to get peer consequences from this.

Even in that scenario "Jenny did a naughty thing and invited you to her party when she shouldn't have. I know it's a bit sad not to go to the party but there will be others. Now off you go to the lego". Don't make it a drama and the kids won't react.

She's a little girl for goodness sake, and trying to sneak in a few extra friends into her party is hardly the crime of the century.
We have no idea if she is a little girl as the OP seems unwilling to confirm her age, apart from saying she is over 5. So she may be 6 or 11 - pretty big difference in understanding and whether this can be deemed hilarious or devious.

I think because the child is clearly old enough to know better!
What a sneaky thing to do. I don’t find it funny at all and would absolutely cancel.

Oh yes, sure. If the party is cancelled.
I was imaging a scenario where the latest invitees got bumped off but the original A list were still going.

@StarlightLime yes seriously. My six year old would understand "Jenny did something naughty and wrote you all fake party invites. There's not really going to be a party. Now off you go and play lego."

But the children at 6 can understand they weren't supposed to have been invited.
Seriously?!

This why whatsapp party invites were invented. Can’t remember the last time I saw a paper invite. Maybe 2018?

I have to agree.

When I read this Op, I saw the funny side. A kid that actually might have been kind and wanting to include others in the celebration. Please don't cancel the party. If you have the funds, I would just carry on with all those now invited. You will see the funny side of this I'm sure. There are bigger things to worry about, this isn't that serious.

This is what I’d do. Adjust to accommodate the situation dd has created. Full cancellation is harsh - both on her and all invitees.

Declining the extras punishes them rather than DD.

An altered party hits the right note ( just don’t upgrade to something more exciting!) . Explain to all.

I just think everyone is taking this too seriously. She's a little girl for goodness sake, and trying to sneak in a few extra friends into her party is hardly the crime of the century. I think the way she has gone about it is bloody hilarious, but I've always secretly enjoyed children who are characters. My dc have survived and thrived btw, and grown into lovely, thoughtful, responsible young people who trust me not to over react but help them become better people when they make mistakes or bad choices.

I would find out who she had invited and text a simple apology and explanation. Tell her off and make it clear she was in the wrong. I would not cancel the party though. That is very OTT.