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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To think my friend shouldn't have eaten my burger?

237 replies

knowledgeablyclueless · 17/04/2024 11:26

Out for dinner a couple of nights ago.

Me and DP, friend and her BF, and another friend.

All paying for our own food.

I ordered a burger but didn't finish it all, so offered it to DP. He said Yes please, but let me finish mine first.

Immediately after that, friend said 'Oh could I try a bite first?' - she ate about half of what was left, then proceeded to offer it to her DP, and when he said no, our friend.

AIBU to think this was fucking weird? Me and DP were both a bit like, Erm, wtf to say something at the time!

OP posts:
betterangels · 17/04/2024 13:47

knowledgeablyclueless · 17/04/2024 11:34

No, she offered it to HER OH, who said no, and then when her OH said no, she offered it to our friend. Before she asked to try a bite, MY DP had already said Yes please.

That's extremely weird. I'd be asking her wtf she was doing. You said she could have a bite while your partner finished his meal--not that she could pass food around the entire bloody table.

That said, you should have said no from the off. You'd already offered it to one other person, who'd said yes.

1offnamechange · 17/04/2024 13:46

trippily · 17/04/2024 11:32

Sometimes I feel like people on mumsnet do not really like their friends? It must be lonely.

Wtf???
I like my friends. Doesn't mean I want three of them nibbling food I was planning on eating before I get round to it!

There's no indication that OP now hates and will forever shun her friend due to this one incident. She's just asking if it was odd/rude behaviour. Which it was.

easylikeasundaymorn · 17/04/2024 13:43

Maglian · 17/04/2024 11:56

I mean , on the face of it yes it's rude, but if she is basically a nice person the simplest explanation is she didn't hear, or didn't process, your husband's reply.

How on earth is this the sinplest explanation -it doesn't make any sense
Friend must have heard Op asking if her dh wanted the burger to know that OP didn't want the rest and it was up for grabs in the first place

The only two answers to that question are yes and no. Its not a complicated question with hundreds of potential responses.

How likely is it that she could have "misheard" a "yes I want it" as the complete opposite "no offer it round the rest of the table?"

If she can't "process" the meaning of the phrase "yes once I've finished mine" she probably shouldn't be allowed out in public unaccompanied.

Why do people do this insane contortionist reaching to try and excuse a complete stranger?

Next someone will come along saying "you don't know what her finances are like, perhaps that burger is the only thing she's had to eat all week...shame on you for starving someone who is supposed to be your friend..."

PastaBaby2024 · 17/04/2024 13:33

Pottedpalm · 17/04/2024 12:13

What’s odd is that you didn’t just say no, DP wants it. Simples.

This. Everyone is unreasonable. Your friend for wanting a burger someone else slobbered over and meant for your DP. Gross and rude. And you for not saying anything and just watching it happen.

GalileoHumpkins · 17/04/2024 13:30

memyselfi · 17/04/2024 11:42

Weird and actually gross . Who wants a burger that someone else's mouth has touched ?
It was your DP's , he said yes . Her asking for it , basically slabbering over it and trying to give to to someone else , pure boke !
Not surprised your DP passed on it .

Slabbering?

OhSighAgain · 17/04/2024 13:29

I think it's a bit rude that you only offered the burger to your husband and not the rest of the table.

I wouldn't have done what your friend did but maybe she was trying to make a point about your rudeness.

therealcookiemonster · 17/04/2024 13:28

statetrooperstacey · 17/04/2024 11:38

It r sounds like she didn’t fully hear or comprehend the arrangement between you and your DH tbh rather than anything else , also how big was this burger?!!!

as big as the chicken that lasts 5 days or a mumsnet massive salad by the sounds of it

Hoppinggreen · 17/04/2024 12:55

Stop biting into eachothers food, its gross. Cut a bit off
Solves 2 problems

Preachingtotheconverted · 17/04/2024 12:54

Was it one of these OP?

To think my friend shouldn't have eaten my burger?
Nanny0gg · 17/04/2024 12:53

FranticHare · 17/04/2024 11:33

You didn't want it, she ate a couple of bites, offered back to your OH who said no. Why shouldn't she finish it? Better than binning it surely, and her finding something else to eat (assuming she was hungry)?

I mean it would be nicer if she had cut off a piece to try - but that doesn't seem what you were worried about?

She offered it to her partner and the other friend first!

Blondeshavemorefun · 17/04/2024 12:47

How big was this burger

You ate half.

Dp Was going to have it after his

Friend ate half of a half so
A quarter

And then offered to her dp and friend

Why didn't your dh say hands off that's mine

Pottedpalm · 17/04/2024 12:13

What’s odd is that you didn’t just say no, DP wants it. Simples.

ginasevern · 17/04/2024 12:13

Yes it was rude and a bit gross. Personally I wouldn't want to indulge in someone else's half eaten burger.

mondaytosunday · 17/04/2024 12:11

Yes as your husband had said yes, even more so for her to offer the remainder to her own husband!
But you should have either cut her a piece off it or said no (I mean how big was this burger to be offered around three people to have some)?

TakeOnFlea · 17/04/2024 12:10

I need a photo of the burger.

Bountifulbarbie · 17/04/2024 12:10

Maglian · 17/04/2024 11:56

I mean , on the face of it yes it's rude, but if she is basically a nice person the simplest explanation is she didn't hear, or didn't process, your husband's reply.

I'm going with this. Can't believe she heard your DH properly

GertrudePerkinsPaperyThing · 17/04/2024 12:09

Fiddlerdragon · 17/04/2024 11:35

But you didn’t want it? She presumably thought it was up for grabs, ate a bit and then offered it to your dp? If it was a problem why didn’t you say no? I couldn’t fall out with a friend for having a couple bites of your leftovers ffs

This! Presumably your Dh had already ordered the food he wanted, so wouldn’t have starved?

It would have been a natural assumption that it was up for grabs, but if not, you or your DH could have said no.

I wouldn’t personally want to eat food that someone other than a partner or my child had been biting from already, but that’s just me.

35965a · 17/04/2024 12:08

badger2005 · 17/04/2024 11:51

I don't think I've ever not been able to manage a whole (veggie) burger...
<misses point of thread>

Oh wait, is this actually a competitive undereating thread? ‘I had so much burger left my DP wanted it but my friend took it, ate some and offered the rest around the whole restaurant’

CharlotteFlax · 17/04/2024 12:06

IncompleteSenten · 17/04/2024 11:53

Yabu OP.

When you offered your spaghetti to your daughter and she said no thanks, it would only have gone to waste if your father hadn't said he'd have it.

It was kind of your father to then offer the rest of it to the stranger dressed in the clown suit sitting at the next table and I'm not sure why you're even mentioning the horse you had tied up at the bar, it doesn't seem to have anything to do with anything.

😂😂

Loloj · 17/04/2024 12:06

It’s a little bit rude of your friend but I wouldn’t lose any sleep over it!

knowledgeablyclueless · 17/04/2024 12:03

IncompleteSenten · 17/04/2024 11:53

Yabu OP.

When you offered your spaghetti to your daughter and she said no thanks, it would only have gone to waste if your father hadn't said he'd have it.

It was kind of your father to then offer the rest of it to the stranger dressed in the clown suit sitting at the next table and I'm not sure why you're even mentioning the horse you had tied up at the bar, it doesn't seem to have anything to do with anything.

This one made me laugh 😂

OP posts:
BobbyBiscuits · 17/04/2024 12:01

For me it would be first come first served, presuming she'd finished hers and was still peckish. If she still had plenty left it seems a bit rude. But I really wouldn't be bothered. She clearly feels comfortable with you enough to do this. I personally wouldn't share a burger without cutting it in half, but if someone wanted my leftovers I wouldn't care who ate them.

burnoutbabe · 17/04/2024 12:00

Nope.

I am happy to share food with partner but not burgers a few other people have also had a bite of.

A few chips is different.

Quite grim!

Maglian · 17/04/2024 11:56

I mean , on the face of it yes it's rude, but if she is basically a nice person the simplest explanation is she didn't hear, or didn't process, your husband's reply.

Akamai · 17/04/2024 11:56

C1N1C · 17/04/2024 11:53

I find it weird how much of this burger was actually available!

A Macdonald's burger I could probably finish in 5-6 bites, and a larger one maybe 10-15.

Say you had half, then friend had a quarter... is it really worth handing over a 'guy mouthful' to her DP?

I might suggest just a side next time if you don't want to waste food or make others feel like you need help.

You clearly have never had a GBK burger. Those babies are an entire food group in their own right.