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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To think my friend shouldn't have eaten my burger?

237 replies

knowledgeablyclueless · 17/04/2024 11:26

Out for dinner a couple of nights ago.

Me and DP, friend and her BF, and another friend.

All paying for our own food.

I ordered a burger but didn't finish it all, so offered it to DP. He said Yes please, but let me finish mine first.

Immediately after that, friend said 'Oh could I try a bite first?' - she ate about half of what was left, then proceeded to offer it to her DP, and when he said no, our friend.

AIBU to think this was fucking weird? Me and DP were both a bit like, Erm, wtf to say something at the time!

OP posts:
stoneyfaces · 17/04/2024 15:24

I don’t know why you said yes to your friend. I could understand your husband not minding eating something your chops have been around, but would he really want to eat something she’d been munching away on? 🤢

AdultReindeer · 17/04/2024 15:22

It's a bit weird but I wouldn't have been able to summon up much outrage over it.

HotChocolateNotCocoa · 17/04/2024 15:20

Well said, @ForestForever. There’s a friendship issue thread running at the moment where almost everyone agrees that the OP’s friend is a total arse - yet STILL someone has popped up with the “Oh, so you don’t actually like each other” guff.

ForestForever · 17/04/2024 15:15

trippily · 17/04/2024 11:32

Sometimes I feel like people on mumsnet do not really like their friends? It must be lonely.

I honestly don’t understand this mentality that if you don’t agree with everything a loved one says and does that “you obviously don’t even like them/ you don’t like them much do you”. Such an odd stance that I don’t believe many people would hold in real life if they’ve got at least half a brain cell. It’s just a nonsense line that gets trotted out on here because people would rather have a really unoriginal dig at the OP because they don’t have the ability to think of anything constructive to say. Either that, or people are just obsessed with making other people feel small because their lives are lacking. In reality, life doesn’t work anywhere close to like this. Rant over.

Mumtobabyhavoc · 17/04/2024 15:14

Passing a burger around for everyone to take bites from is very, very 🤮🤮🤮
Can't get past this bit of the story.
😂😂😂

easylikeasundaymorn · 17/04/2024 15:06

LittleGlowingOblong · 17/04/2024 14:33

Is your friend squeezed by the cost of living, @knowledgeablyclueless ?

yes, because if I'm struggling to make ends meet I save money by going out for a meal in a restaurant.....

StaunchMomma · 17/04/2024 15:03

knowledgeablyclueless · 17/04/2024 14:27

Yes because she said "Can I try some FIRST?"

I thought she would take one bite and hand it back, not then pass it round the table like a hot potato!

Aaaaah, missed that bit.

So she clearly knew your DH was having it.

DEFINITELY weird.

OhSighAgain · 17/04/2024 15:02

knowledgeablyclueless · 17/04/2024 14:26

What? Why would my DP NOT get first dips on a meal we are paying for?!

And how would that go? "Who at the table wants my left over burger? First to stand up gets it!"

So you and your DH paid for a meal each. You didn't want all your meal. Your DH presumably had a full meal.

I can't imagine being so mean spirited as to only offer my unwanted food to my DH and not my friends who I was enjoying a meal with just because DH and I had paid for it.

I would just say something like 'I can't finish this, you lot feel free to take what you like from my plate."

StaunchMomma · 17/04/2024 15:02

Yeah, that's weird.

Unless she hadn't heard your DH accept it first?

JosiePosey · 17/04/2024 14:55

GertrudePerkinsPaperyThing · 17/04/2024 12:09

This! Presumably your Dh had already ordered the food he wanted, so wouldn’t have starved?

It would have been a natural assumption that it was up for grabs, but if not, you or your DH could have said no.

I wouldn’t personally want to eat food that someone other than a partner or my child had been biting from already, but that’s just me.

Presumably everyone else had ordered the food they wanted, so weren't starving either, so if OP's DH said he wanted it, why would it be 'up for grabs'?

PrimalLass · 17/04/2024 14:54

Yes it's a bit weird

Hadjab · 17/04/2024 14:51

A lot of people seem to be struggling with reading comprehension...

ineedtostopbeingdramaticfirst · 17/04/2024 14:49

It's gross and rude

SuperGreens · 17/04/2024 14:47

Dirty and rude, sharing food with your partner is obviously fine as you share a fair bit more than that. But for a friend to start gobbling down food from someone elses plate is gross. And then the rudeness of it being already claimed by your DP. Was she drunk?

2024istheyearforme · 17/04/2024 14:46

Yanbu and obviously the first person you should offer it to is your DP -_- gosh people are so weird.

Tbh though I would find it odd that my friend after having a meal would want my half eaten burger in the first place .... but hey ho

She obviously heard your DP say he wanted it so she was weird to ask to try it AND then hand it round like it's a sharing platter I mean that's really odd.

xsquared · 17/04/2024 14:42

I'm also astonished by the stretching some posters are doing to excuse greedy friend's behaviour and try and turn this into OP being rude for not offering it to her friend first.

If OP had offered it to everyone then you'll be telling OP is rude for assuming her friends would want something she's bitten into amd handled.

IndecentPropolis · 17/04/2024 14:42

FranticHare · 17/04/2024 11:33

You didn't want it, she ate a couple of bites, offered back to your OH who said no. Why shouldn't she finish it? Better than binning it surely, and her finding something else to eat (assuming she was hungry)?

I mean it would be nicer if she had cut off a piece to try - but that doesn't seem what you were worried about?

I sometimes wonder at people’s reading comprehension skills.

The friend didn’t offer it back to OPs DP. She offered it to her OWN DP.

OliveWah · 17/04/2024 14:39

I've just reread the OP and realised that I missed a bit, so my comment didn't make sense - hence this edit, sorry!

diddl · 17/04/2024 14:36

Yes because she said "Can I try some FIRST?"

I thought she would take one bite and hand it back, not then pass it round the table like a hot potato!

So your partner was OK with her having some of what was now his burger?

Is "some" just one bite?

LittleGlowingOblong · 17/04/2024 14:33

Is your friend squeezed by the cost of living, @knowledgeablyclueless ?

Ledci · 17/04/2024 14:31

I'm probably missing the point here but who wants to eat a burger that other people have taken bites from 🤢

knowledgeablyclueless · 17/04/2024 14:27

Crunchymum · 17/04/2024 13:55

How much burger are we talking about?

Did she hear you offer it to your DP?

Yes because she said "Can I try some FIRST?"

I thought she would take one bite and hand it back, not then pass it round the table like a hot potato!

OP posts:
knowledgeablyclueless · 17/04/2024 14:26

OhSighAgain · 17/04/2024 13:29

I think it's a bit rude that you only offered the burger to your husband and not the rest of the table.

I wouldn't have done what your friend did but maybe she was trying to make a point about your rudeness.

What? Why would my DP NOT get first dips on a meal we are paying for?!

And how would that go? "Who at the table wants my left over burger? First to stand up gets it!"

OP posts:
MichaelFlatulence · 17/04/2024 14:25

IncompleteSenten · 17/04/2024 11:53

Yabu OP.

When you offered your spaghetti to your daughter and she said no thanks, it would only have gone to waste if your father hadn't said he'd have it.

It was kind of your father to then offer the rest of it to the stranger dressed in the clown suit sitting at the next table and I'm not sure why you're even mentioning the horse you had tied up at the bar, it doesn't seem to have anything to do with anything.

I know, totally in line with current policy.

Crunchymum · 17/04/2024 13:55

How much burger are we talking about?

Did she hear you offer it to your DP?