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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To think my friend shouldn't have eaten my burger?

237 replies

knowledgeablyclueless · 17/04/2024 11:26

Out for dinner a couple of nights ago.

Me and DP, friend and her BF, and another friend.

All paying for our own food.

I ordered a burger but didn't finish it all, so offered it to DP. He said Yes please, but let me finish mine first.

Immediately after that, friend said 'Oh could I try a bite first?' - she ate about half of what was left, then proceeded to offer it to her DP, and when he said no, our friend.

AIBU to think this was fucking weird? Me and DP were both a bit like, Erm, wtf to say something at the time!

OP posts:
PineappleTime · 18/04/2024 17:12

OP why did you give her the burger though?! Were you just so surprised that she asked that you didn't know how to say no?

PineappleTime · 18/04/2024 17:01

OhSighAgain · 17/04/2024 13:29

I think it's a bit rude that you only offered the burger to your husband and not the rest of the table.

I wouldn't have done what your friend did but maybe she was trying to make a point about your rudeness.

Really? I mean, I will eat food my DH has taken a bite out of but only because we share bodily fluids. I wouldn't want a burger anyone else has been chomping on! Offering it to anyone other than her DP would have been weird and gross!

knowledgeablyclueless · 18/04/2024 16:58

I can't believe the way this has kicked off 🤣 If only said burger knew what a phenomenon it has become.

OP posts:
easylikeasundaymorn · 18/04/2024 09:44

Theright1 · 17/04/2024 23:03

Or maybe she has hearing loss that isn't wax related! Many people do

Ah yes of course, hearing loss so significant (mistaking a "yes I want it" for the complete opposite) that she managed to participate in the whole conversation throughout the meal, without any issues, and the OP has never become aware of it throughout the whole course of their friendship but suddenly kicks in at this exact moment. Burger related hearing loss, thst well known phenomenon. Would you like a ladder for that excessive reach?

Except that the friend clearly did both hear and understand the DHs reply because she asked "can I have a bit first."

Calliopespa · 18/04/2024 09:39

easylikeasundaymorn · 18/04/2024 09:37

So then why would she have said "can I try a bit first"?

Oh I didn’t notice that bit. Well I don’t know what she was up to then.

I’m struggling a bit now to summon up the requisite interest to think further about a leftover burger tbh…

Does friend dislike OH op?

easylikeasundaymorn · 18/04/2024 09:37

Calliopespa · 18/04/2024 07:16

She also might have not really heard much detail at all ( noisy/ listening to someone else) but seen oP offering to OH and the plate/ burger not being transferred across to OH ( because he was finishing his). It could look as though he didn’t want it.

So then why would she have said "can I try a bit first"?

QueSyrahSyrah · 18/04/2024 07:39

Christ I couldn't be arsed worrying about who ate some leftovers. Presumably you'd all had a meal so nobody was starving. If it was so important that your DH ate the rest of the burger then you should have either said no to the friend, or cut her off a piece.

mamajong · 18/04/2024 07:26

Personally I'd have no issue with this, happy to share food with friends and would expect my DH to say something if he was that bothered. We are talking about a few bites of a burger you didn't want, my friendships are too valuable to fall out over something so trivial. I mean, you could have said no to her trying it, but I'm thinking the reason you didn't was because it would've sounded petty...which in all honesty it is!

Calliopespa · 18/04/2024 07:16

Theright1 · 17/04/2024 23:03

Or maybe she has hearing loss that isn't wax related! Many people do

She also might have not really heard much detail at all ( noisy/ listening to someone else) but seen oP offering to OH and the plate/ burger not being transferred across to OH ( because he was finishing his). It could look as though he didn’t want it.

slippedonabanana · 18/04/2024 00:17

You were unreasonable to offer your leftovers to anyone at a table where others were eating. If you and your DP had been alone swapping around leftovers between yourselves would have been okay.

Noseybookworm · 17/04/2024 23:17

Definitely odd behaviour! Is she just greedy? A bit socially inept? Even with a close friend I don't think I'd eat their leftover food, especially a burger they'd half eaten 🤢

AlohaRose · 17/04/2024 23:17

Ugh. How big was this burger that you were all passing it around the table and having bites from it?!

Theright1 · 17/04/2024 23:03

easylikeasundaymorn · 17/04/2024 22:30

If she misheard "Yes please, but let me finish mine first" as "No thank you, offer it around the whole table" then she needs to get her ears syringed.

Or maybe she has hearing loss that isn't wax related! Many people do

SunshineShower · 17/04/2024 23:00

I'm very squeamish about food and hygiene so the idea of trying to eat while several people take turns with the same burger actually makes me queasy. YANBU.

LadyAddle · 17/04/2024 23:00

LordSnot · 17/04/2024 18:30

This story is weird on so many levels. Are you all seagulls?

😂😂

Redpaisley · 17/04/2024 22:49

FranticHare · 17/04/2024 11:33

You didn't want it, she ate a couple of bites, offered back to your OH who said no. Why shouldn't she finish it? Better than binning it surely, and her finding something else to eat (assuming she was hungry)?

I mean it would be nicer if she had cut off a piece to try - but that doesn't seem what you were worried about?

She offered to her own DP not to Op's Dp. People keep saying it was spare but OP asked her dp and he wanted it.

It was weird of friend to want a bite and then to offer to two other people.

Peaceandquietandacuppa · 17/04/2024 22:41

What kind of friend is this that you didn’t say anything?? I can’t think of a case where I wouldn’t be like ‘ah I’ve just offered it to DH’ or ‘Oi, what do you think you’re doing’

Jk8 · 17/04/2024 22:37

Calliopespa · 17/04/2024 22:02

But why? Just why would someone be determined to stop OP’s Oh from getting a bite? It’s a half eaten burger not a trip to the Maldives.

Im sure she just misheard. She probably heard op offer it to her OH and when it seemed not to be taken up immediately, assumed he’d declined. Anything else is way too weird. Burger envy just isn’t a thing; half- eaten burger envy less so.

It is weird. Eating a left over burger is weird (as opposed to left over chips that havnt been in somebodys mouth). Doing it in front of others is weird. Offering it too other people to have some of a left over burger is weird.

Some people are just weird. (Or really really hungry)

easylikeasundaymorn · 17/04/2024 22:30

Theright1 · 17/04/2024 20:49

Anyone else think your friend must have misheard your DPs response? Miscommunication no?

If she misheard "Yes please, but let me finish mine first" as "No thank you, offer it around the whole table" then she needs to get her ears syringed.

louderthan · 17/04/2024 22:19

DyslexicPoster · 17/04/2024 21:00

Classic MN where people insit the OP is wrong and also don't properly read the opening post.

Look, op, your just plain wrong because I was there and you wasn't. It's not all weird handing around a hamburger that you all take bites from. In fact its very normal here to order a 6lb burger from McDs and we just pass it around, doesn't everyone? 🙄

We aren't big eaters so normally buy a kids happy meal and that fills up all 6 of us. We then pass what we couldn't eat around the in laws.

I hope you feel suitably gaslighted now. Also it wasn't HER oh, he's married to YOU. You just don't really know who your partner is. Very easy to make this mistake. I keep thinking I'm married to the postman ( these men all look the same)

😂😂😂

Calliopespa · 17/04/2024 22:02

Jk8 · 17/04/2024 21:44

Err no. Because she said "can I have some first" not "I'll have it" & the fact that she then offered it too her own partner & other friend suggests she was determined to finish it or expected them to pitch in & stop OPs partner from having it but was left high & dry with half a left over burger she'd just randomly munched on.

But why? Just why would someone be determined to stop OP’s Oh from getting a bite? It’s a half eaten burger not a trip to the Maldives.

Im sure she just misheard. She probably heard op offer it to her OH and when it seemed not to be taken up immediately, assumed he’d declined. Anything else is way too weird. Burger envy just isn’t a thing; half- eaten burger envy less so.

Onetiredbeing · 17/04/2024 21:49

SuperGreens · 17/04/2024 14:47

Dirty and rude, sharing food with your partner is obviously fine as you share a fair bit more than that. But for a friend to start gobbling down food from someone elses plate is gross. And then the rudeness of it being already claimed by your DP. Was she drunk?

Agree. What a piggy

Onetiredbeing · 17/04/2024 21:49

She sounds greedy and embarrassing. Who asks for someone's leftovers and then offers it around. Grim.

RollyPol · 17/04/2024 21:44

To requests like that I always say - sorry, do you want to share my toothbrush as well? I don't fancy mixing your saliva and mine. There is no way I would agree to 'sharing dishes' with people sticking their saliva-laden forks into a common dish or, perish the thought, double-dipping. Disgusting. Absolutely vile.

Jk8 · 17/04/2024 21:44

Theright1 · 17/04/2024 20:49

Anyone else think your friend must have misheard your DPs response? Miscommunication no?

Err no. Because she said "can I have some first" not "I'll have it" & the fact that she then offered it too her own partner & other friend suggests she was determined to finish it or expected them to pitch in & stop OPs partner from having it but was left high & dry with half a left over burger she'd just randomly munched on.