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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To do my own birthday?

36 replies

notanoxfordcomma · 17/04/2024 10:16

It's my birthday on Friday.

My husband isn't hugely into birthdays, whereas I was raised by a mom who made the day really special.

DH will go out with the kids to get cards and gifts but isn't into decorating the house and so on. I've accepted this, and the years I've mentioned that I'd like it he has made the effort with banners and balloons etc, but probably wouldn't bother otherwise.

He isn't well at the minute due to an injury and I know there's no chance of him going to get those bits.... aibu to do it myself?

Should I get over myself at almost 40 and recognise that a lack of bday banners isn't necessarily a lack of appreciation?!

Do I need banners up on my bday?
I sound like a brat, don't I 🥴

OP posts:
OlderGlaswegianLivingInDevon · 17/04/2024 11:12

Children, and special adult birthdays - not every single one. They don't make special banners or birthday cards for non ' special ' birthdays - do they...

Card/s, present/s, meal out/takeaway if that's the family thing, cake if that's the family thing.

Growlybear83 · 17/04/2024 11:07

I have never ever come across an adult who would want banners and balloons on their birthday! 😂😂😂. My husband will be 70 next week and all he wants to do on his birthday is to go to a nearby racecourse for the day and then for us to have a nice meal out in the evening. he would think I'd lost the plot if I put up banners and balloons 😆😞😞

AperolWhore · 17/04/2024 10:59

I absolutely love a fuss on my birthday and I make a fuss of other people on theirs. I bought lovely reusable birthday bunting, a birthday banner and a birthday party hat.

It’s brought out for all birthdays in our home, no faffing around each birthday and the fabric bunting is truly beautiful.

My wife loves that everything is in one box making it easy and a no fuss way of making a fuss. She only has to get a card and the obligatory caterpillar cake.

mondaytosunday · 17/04/2024 10:54

Banners? I did that (well actually not a banner, but big balloons) for my kids 16th and 18th, but wouldn't think of doing it normally. But if it's what you want nothing to stop you.
Cake and a few presents and a favourite meal is what we do. My own birthday last month went by pretty much unobserved (no husband), though my kids made me a cake.

Original poster
notanoxfordcomma · 17/04/2024 10:54

@Berlinlover maybe I've posted on previous bdays too 🤣🤣

I'm joking, I haven't. 😅

OP posts:
Original poster
notanoxfordcomma · 17/04/2024 10:53

@Ohwellithappens I think it's more than growing up this was a real sign of appreciation. I've carried it on to show dh and the kids how special they are, but dh doesn't see it as that.

Difference in love languages I guess.

I need to break my association with a fuss on my bday showing me I'm appreciated because tbf dh does his best to show me that all year round. We just do it differently I suppose.

OP posts:
Berlinlover · 17/04/2024 10:47

This post sounds familiar.

Ohwellithappens · 17/04/2024 10:46

People want banners on their Birthday?

TipsyKoala · 17/04/2024 10:26

My kids love making banners and decorations. Just give your children a gentle hint and they might love the idea of decorating the house for mummy's birthday! (unless they're teenage of course in which case I wouldn't expect any interest)

Whateveer · 17/04/2024 10:25

I mean it makes you sound like a child not a brat. But if it makes you happy do it! Happy birthday for Friday 🎈

TokyoSushi · 17/04/2024 10:19

If it makes you happy, do it!