Help me not overshare details with nosy school mother

I have one like this. It’s been six years. I generally go with “Oh you know it’s so busy at the start/end/middle of term, we’re just getting through really”. She has at least stopped badgering me for playdates, which ime are her way of sizing up my kid against hers.

Throw the questions back at her so you don't divulge.

Some of these suggestions are so funny! You must try them.
I do think trying to mirror her "coy" replies might be effective. This is how she gets away with not delivering information and that is what you need to do too. You could keep turning things back on her by saying "no, you first, we're always talking about my child, let's hear about yours for a change!"

This. Lovely.

"Perimenopause is the pits, isn't it? Do I even have a daughter, I can't seem to remember?"

Added points for then adding lots of detail about gushing blood and stained clothes. That should make her run for the hills!

Do let slip that Tuesdays and Thursdays are her MENSA meetings

I heard someone say in this situation, yes she's doing very well and I'm proud of her but you know what, we tried for a baby for years and I would've been proud of her whatever she was able to read and whatever she was able to do. Every child is precious to their mother aren't they?

Change place in the rota?

Just be non committal without being rude-try the same coy phrases she uses

On further thought:
Is it possible she's genuinely interested?
Feeling insecure and is trying to confirm to herself she's on the right track with her daughter?
Some people have a difficult time in social situations; or maybe she's on the spectrum? That could account for inability to recognize boundaries?

I wouldn’t even bother to do more than grunt in response. If you don’t want to get into all this competitive parent stuff then don’t. In fact, I’d say as much - comparing kids isn’t healthy so can we change the topic?

Enthusiastically overshare but not with the info she wants .. ask loads of open questions .. make it seem like you said so much but said nothing you didn't want to

Comebacks:
You:why do you want to know?
Her:just making conversation
You: oh, I see. (say nothing more and walk away)

i notice you ask a lot of pointed questions.
i feel like I'm being interrogated.
you're very curious, aren't you?
Do you like cats? Clowns? Apples? (If you feel brave enough to seem a bit weird)
😂

I like the, we always talk about the children, it gets really tedious doesn't it. What do you think about climate change? The cost of living? Aren't there a lot of pot holes. All this trans stuff. How are you voting at the next election? What's the most exciting thing you've done at work. If it goes back to children, oh dear back to children again, we don't seem to be able to talk about anything else.

Just make stuff up. The more outrageous the better.

Why does it matter?

Is that Elvis?
Agreed turn it back on her and let her waffle on about her dc, which is what most narcissistic people want to do anyway!

Have fun answering her question but it ways where you only give her information she wasn't interested in.

"Oh yes he does do a few after school things but my favourite is Friday night family board game night. We mostly alternate between cluedo and scrabble but every third Friday we have a wildcard game... whats your family's favourite game? Oh you dont play them? What about movie night then blah blah blah on it goes"

"Yes she does have an interest in sport and music and academic things (vague). Sometimes we like to take them ice-skating on an inset day too, do you ever do that? We hire the skates as we don't have our own but I was thinking of getting some. The children enjoy whizzing round and we usually go out for tea afterwards waffle waffle".

"Playdates with classmates? Oh we do them now and again. The little girl next door often comes round to play too and last week I was asking her if her mum would be expecting her home yet when she told me xyz! Can you beleive it! Do you get on with your neighbours? I remember we once had dreadful people living in the flat above us.... etc"

It can be entertaining to prattle on when you know someone is digging hard for very different info!

@Noyesnoyes

Maybe add "gosh you ask so many questions",

I like this. I have, in the past, used something similar when nosy people pestered me with questions.

"My goodness - what a lot of questions. Is there a prize at the end?" Said with a smile. 🌹

@Primroseoil

or

Just incessantly talk about really boring facts knowledge on any subjects,

Come across as Geeky 🤓 or irritating Know all type on boring infor
and repeat what you say often whenever the opportunity you happen to come across her,
School mum
Also say when she talks about her speacial her child is at such a such

You say 🤔 in dismissive attitude ways tones,
"such as saying that's small fry or nothing"
"I watched a programme a child prodigy who can do so much better than your child or say you have got a friend who has a child who I so much more clever than their child "

@Primroseoil

Also say to her

"God I find people like you really weird !!!

"God don't you find people like yourself weird"
Why do you ask so many questions,

Be rude and quite offensive

Saying your thoughts aloud about what you think of her 🤔

@Primroseoil
Typo omission Like that *

Ask her opinion about something else school related. Quality of school dinners is a good one. What meals her child likes, views on portion size, variety. Ask her what she usually does for tea, time of dinner etc. Be really nosy.

@Primroseoil

Find your inner Film star Garbor I want to be alone mysterious vibe,
Don't know if you have heard of this black and silver actress,

Be constantly vague,

Politely dismissive,

Treat her like annoying acquaintance that you want to swipe away like an irritating Wasp nuisance,
you want to discourage from knowing too much about your personal life,

ask her slightly pointy nosey enquiring questions on a regular basis 🤣 as she will not want to connect 🙄 or so much with somebody,

Or tell her you're going to do something dull and make sure you are armed with extremely dry facts about said dull topic so she regrets asking.

"DC and I are going to the paint drying museum on Saturday. Did you know that the first person to watch paint dry was Robert Wilson in 1768?"