To ask if you have anxiety, do you act like a dick to people when anxious?!

Depends what kind of anxiety they have.

In general people should learn to manage their anxiety but if someone is having a panic attack or in a ptsd flashback they are unlikely to be able to in the moment.

That'd be part of long term therapy.

It would be difficult to be around and you are absolutely entitled to pull back but not all responses to anxiety are controllable,

They should have intensive therapy and learn better management strategies, because what they are doing is unacceptable. (I have PTSD, generalised anxiety and panic disorder.)

Remember, even dick heads can suffer from anxiety.

And this person certainly sounds like a dick, who just happens to suffer from it.

I have been known to be a bit of a dick in the heat of the moment / normally manifests as quite ratty / snappy. Sometimes I'm aware enough to say 'I'm sorry I'm snapping, I need to XYZ"
I do apologise after and then over-think like mad that I'm a bad person etc. etc. hence my user name.
I do take medication, I have had talking therapies and GENERALLY I think I keep it away from other people and it's an internal thing that might stop me doing things but doesn't impact others.

Of course, SOME people just use mental health issues as an excuse to be dicks all the time and don't WANT to get better as it suits their needs. Unfortunately, it's probably not always easy to tell them apart.

I think it's okay to have limits / boundaries of what you are prepared to accept though .

We are all justifiably anxious about some situations. However it seems to have been pathologised, and for most people without a diagnosis. You have a diagnosis, fine, otherwise I really can't be bothered.

I am anxious about some things, and put strategies in place, e.g. making sure I'm on time, I don't bother other people with it. For some people it's a genuine condition. For others I think it's a performative 'look at me, I'm special', and I have no truck with it.

"Blow their top" - exactly. For some people, the anxiety goes to an immediate boil. Generally, I'd say anxiety leads to a desperate, self-preservation URGE, primal urge, to CONTROL the situation. If they can control the situation, they will be safe.

If they're that triggered, that might manifest as shouting, making everyone walk on eggshells etc

It's not fair. They should apologise afterwards, but often not apologising is all part of their safety mechanism. Doesn't make it ok, but if you imagine their dick behaviour as a very genuinely scared and confused inner child, it's a bit easier.

An anxiety disorder is very different to every day anxiety, and it sounds like they have an anxiety disorder. Are they getting help for it?
Unmanaged severe anxiety can consume a person to the point they can’t see the impact on others, if it’s managed, then yes, they should be more mindful of others.

Anxiety can present differently in different people. Being bad tempered isn't unusual. However, you can't reasonably expect to be horrible to people and never apologise. Anxiety does not excuse mistreating people. I'd be putting some distance between myself and this family member.

I had anxiety for a couple of years (diagnosed). I expected people to understand if there were things I didn’t feel able to do, like big social events or long journeys. I didn’t expect anyone to change their plans or routines to accommodate me. It was really hard though, and I don’t know what it would be like to live with that level of anxiety long term.

Also, some people are dicks with or without anxiety.

No but I go very quiet and internalise everything when I feel very emotional in any way including anxiety. I can come across as moody when that happens but I am never rude/mean.

Sometimes I can be short tempered, because all of my energy is going into managing my anxiety. But I try to own that it's mine and not make it anyone else's issue - so eg I'm scared of flying, we went away at Easter but it's for me to manage my anxiety about that and not give it to others so waiting at the airport I'll say 'I'm pacing for a bit cos it helps my anxiety ' and my DC will roll their eyes and carry on scrolling YouTube and eating Burger King.

My anxiety is mine.

It would make me more anxious to think I’d pissed people off tbh

The anxious stuff is always something not to be anxious about.

Anxiety disorder isn't exactly rational, you can just be anxious about nothing at all.

It isn't an excuse for being a dick though. You can't change anyone else though only your reaction to them so either ignore them when they blow up or avoid them. If you kick off about it you will just look like an asshole and it will change nothing.