Active discussions

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

friend asking me to go away - AIBU ?

563 replies

Bigbusheyeyebrows · 16/04/2024 17:36

My friend is single and will be child free bank holiday weekend while her (practically adult) children are at their dads. She has suggested me and her going away for the weekend

AIBU to think she's BU by asking her me to go away with her for the whole weekend, when I have a partner and younger (12, 14,15) DC at home ?

"Sorry partner & DC, amuse yourselves for the 3 days. I'm off for a jolly from the Friday. See you Monday bank holiday evening sometime"

I think it's out of order for me to just bugger off the whole 3 days and for my friend to think this is OK/expect me to go.

OP posts:
bostonchamps · 16/04/2024 22:42

DH is off on a boys weekend for May Day; should I LTB for not understanding it is a sacred holy family weekend?

(I'm bloody excited about having a BH to myself to do whatever the fuck I want)

BananaLambo · 16/04/2024 22:42

We have 8 bank holidays a year on top of annual leave. If anything, a bank holiday is the perfect time to go away and do something fun because you have time to relax a bit. Just think OP, a few days in Paris or Marbella, or even Edinburgh or Dublin, bit of window shopping, a museum or bus tour, maybe even stay in a spa hotel where you can have a massage and a swim before getting all dressed up to go for cocktails, dinner and dancing - even better if it’s somewhere warm where you can laze on the beach and have a dip in the sea. Your DP and kids will have a great time eating pizza, watching movies, and staying up too late. Now I want to go away for a mini break!

WalkingaroundJardine · 16/04/2024 22:41

Bigbusheyeyebrows · 16/04/2024 19:00

I'm not better than my friend. No one is any better than anytime else. And anyone who has suggested that, has only shown their own true colours.
We get a handful of BHs a year in UK. An extra few days scattered over the year, to spend with family imo. We don't have any BH rituals or a given expectations in our family. I just think it's mean to go away on a BH with mates, if you have family at home. I'm clearly in the minority on this !

The “how dare she” tone of your posts comes across as somewhat mean too. It is a very normal thing to do, as you can see from the majority of the replies. Not at all selfish.

Your friend only asked and it’s just for three days. I imagine as a single parent she often does not have the chance to go away and the bank weekend somehow worked out for her. Just politely decline or suggest another weekend. Try and see it from her point of view as well.

Peaceandquietandacuppa · 16/04/2024 22:37

You happily leave them for 2 WEEKS to go long-haul, but 3 nights is unreasonable because it’s a bank hol? You realise this doesn’t make any sense right?

Your friend sounds lovely and you sound… well, a bit odd.

Woahthehorsey · 16/04/2024 22:34

She's done absolutely nothing wrong. She asked, you don't want to go. Not a massive issue. She hasn't been offensive after you've said no.

I personally see no issue with a trip away with a good friend.

olympicsrock · 16/04/2024 22:33

What she is suggesting is fab - a mini break!
no issue at all with the bank holiday .

Tahinii · 16/04/2024 22:32

Poor friend, thought she was inviting you to a weekend away. I’m sure she didn’t realise how important bank holidays are to you!!

MermaidMummy06 · 16/04/2024 22:30

You go away for two weeks, long haul, without your partner & DC? So leaving them behind to cope alone isn't an issue. That kills your 'can't swan off' argument, sorry.

Have you considered your friend might want to go away occasionally?

Personally I'd love a friend who thought enough of me to me to go away, DC free, for a few days. I've tried for years, but no one ever wants to go, so I've not had a child free night away since DC was born.

Gwenhwyfar · 16/04/2024 22:28

Your children are or are nearly teenagers? Why can't they cope without you for a weekend and why can't your friend suggest it?

EllaPaella · 16/04/2024 22:27

As someone who also has a husband and three kids (2 are a lot younger than yours) and is going away with friends for bank holiday weekend I think you are a bit odd to think your friend is cheeky to ask. I have long weekends away with friends at least twice a year.... DH has a 5 day trip away every year to do a long sports weekend. It's fairly normal for most couples imo.

crockofshite · 16/04/2024 22:26

Bigbusheyeyebrows · 16/04/2024 17:44

It's nice of her to ask me but surely she realises that I have family at home and cannot just swan off and leave them to it for 3 days, especially on a bank holiday.

They would of course all be fine without me and I can go if I want. no worries there. It just feels a bit off for me to go and quite selfish tbh.

Your feelings are your problem, not your friends.

ThePoshUns · 16/04/2024 22:21

It's a bank holiday not Christmas.
Don't you ever go away on your own? I love a weekend away with friends.

Cornishclio · 16/04/2024 22:21

Also it seems strange to say you go away with friends for two weeks every year but Bank Holidays are sacred. Surely if you both use two weeks leave for holidays with friends that leaves you nothing for family holidays?

DistinguishedSocialCommentator · 16/04/2024 22:20

Orangello · 16/04/2024 21:41

It is a massive decision OP

It really isn't. It's a weekend with a friend.

😂
😂
😂
😂
😂
😂
😂
😂
😂

okaythenright · 16/04/2024 22:19

You sound smug AF about having a partner 2.4kids

Your mate needs do go get better friends

Cornishclio · 16/04/2024 22:19

Have you asked your partner and DC whether they mind? I think you are making a bit of a mountain out of a molehill. The question is do you want to go away with your friend? I don't think it is selfish to take some time away from family to do your own thing but clearly you have issues with it.

NortieTortie · 16/04/2024 22:18

I'm curious as to what your husband thinks. Does he agree bank holidays are sacred family time?

It's all a bit wild to me

OatFlatWhiteForMe · 16/04/2024 22:18

A fortnight long haul with friends seems selfish to me. I wouldn’t be keen to give up a bank holiday - I’m happy to take a days annual leave for two nights away but that’s about my limit.

justanothermanicmonday1 · 16/04/2024 22:18

Josette77 · 16/04/2024 17:40

I think it's weird you can't go away and leave your partner and three teenagers alone.

This

jelly79 · 16/04/2024 22:18

Heaven forbid you have a weekend away! (I am going away with the girls for the BH Weekend!)

Caththegreat · 16/04/2024 22:15

Oh get a life ffs.you can do things alone.or with a mate away from.your sainted family

Noseybookworm · 16/04/2024 22:07

She's not 'expecting' you to go, she's asking you if you'd like to go away. You can say no thanks and spend it with your family if you wish.

betterangels · 16/04/2024 22:06

I don't get how you are happy to go away for two weeks long haul with your friends on your own but can't consider a long weekend. That doesn't make sense.

I missed that. Even stranger now.

Here4thechocs · 16/04/2024 22:05

Bigbusheyeyebrows · 16/04/2024 17:44

It's nice of her to ask me but surely she realises that I have family at home and cannot just swan off and leave them to it for 3 days, especially on a bank holiday.

They would of course all be fine without me and I can go if I want. no worries there. It just feels a bit off for me to go and quite selfish tbh.

So you view women who go away without their kids & partners as selfish then, eh ?

Seriously tho 🤦‍♀️

Causewerethespecialtwo · 16/04/2024 22:05

She’s not asked you to go away for Christmas 😂 it’s just another bank holiday.

Swipe left for the next trending thread