friend asking me to go away - AIBU ?

What a terrible, unreasonable friend she is! How dare she PRESUME that you might view a weekend away with her as fun! Doesn't she realise how important you are?

Your family can't POSSIBLY get by without you for a few days. Clearly you are an oh-so-special and important person.

She doesn't deserve you as a friend: the bloody cheek of her.

I suggest you put the bitch in her place.

What an extremely odd reaction to be asked if you want to go away!

What's with all the "swan off".

Are you asking whether it would be unreasonable of you to consider going on the holiday, or whether it's unreasonable of your friend to ask?
If the latter, is there a bigger issue between you and your friend?

as everyone says she's not being selfish by asking - if you said yes without agreeing it first with your DP that would be selfish
On the otherhand both you and your DP taking separate two week long haul holidays without the kids every year does strike me as selfish

All very noble of you, of course.
If you feel you have to be with your family every bank holiday, then that is what you do.
However, this ideal will eventually fall like the house of cards it is. One year your DP/H will be asked to go away with his mates. He may not have a noble gene. Soon, your kids will be invited to go away with mates. They will want to, and will not give your sacrificed weekend another thought.
More likely, in a few years time, you'll be looking back thinking, 'why the feck didn't I have that weekend away when I could?'

Seems bizarre that a two week long haul is fine but a BH weekend is selfish!

Do you not like this friend really? Is that the real issue here?

Why can't you just say to your friend that you don't want leave your family over the bh weekend. Job done!

I don't think she's bu to ask, a lot of people go away without their family for long weekends. It's entirely up to you what you do.

I think you are bu for being very blinkered and not considering that other people might think differently to you.

Going away for a few days is a good breather from everything, and she's nice for asking you out. If you don't want it, then just say no.

This is really strange.

The course is fine to go on a holiday with a friend at any time, really. If you need MN permission, then you have it.

If you're this rigid about a simple holiday, what are you going to do when those kids grow up and move out?

Say no then. Job done.

Are you saying you are fine to go on holiday for two weeks long haul with other friends but this friend is unreasonable for asking you to go away on a bank holiday weekend? If so YABU

You need to calm down and say no.
then distance yourself from your friends as she deserves better than a drama llama friend. It’s an invitation that I’m sure she wouldn’t have issued if she knew what a dramatic twit you are.

Gracious, she really isn't a friend at all, is she? How dare she make such a suggestion. Won't somebody think of the children?

I get what you're saying. You're right in that the kids aren't off school that often and I understand that you feel guilty that you'd be going off to do something with your friend when they're off school. That being said she only asked you, so just say no.

Go or don't go. I honestly don't understand the fuss.

I wouldn't want to go away on bank holiday either. But it's completely acceptable for your friend to ask! You can just say no! Especially doesn't make sense since you go away for two weeks long haul.

YANBU not to go. However, YWBU to blame your friend for suggesting it- so long as she accepts your refusal without pressurizing or getting huffy.

I'm so glad you are not my friend OP!!!There is nothing out of order about leaving your grown kids with your partner.

There is nothing selfish about your friend asking you at all!

I think it was a lovely gesture from your friend to invite you but god I feel sorry for her to have a friend like you!

Also,are you sure your it's not your partner telling you not to go?!You wouldn't be making such a song and dance about it otherwise!!

This is probably the most batshit thing I've read on MN. You go long haul with friends for 2 weeks every year, but you're angry a friend asked if you fancy 3 days away cos it's a bank holiday weekend????? Got to be a windup🙄

You won't get asked again. Enjoy your martyr complex

What do you do over Bank Holidays that means the family is so dependent on you being there?

At this time of year we have four bank holidays within a couple of months. I can't honestly see that you being away for just one of those is in any way selfish. It's certainly in no way out of order for your friend to ask you.

Why can't you leave them to it for three days? You've just had two Bank Holidays with them, after all. Why aren't you entitled to this really pretty minimal break for once?

Would your partner do this? Would he go off for a weekend jolly on his own?
If the answer is Yes, then you can too

You definitely need a holiday. I think you should go actually.

You're being weird about bank holidays. They're not sacred days that you can only spend with your family! It's just an extra day off. Would your husband have the same opinion if his mates suggested a weekend away? This is bizarre.