friend asking me to go away - AIBU ?

So weird!! I’m going away with my friends in a few weeks for long weekend in Ibiza. Cannot bloody wait!! Kids are 3,8 and 10. Husband was away last weekend with his friends.

I think child free time is really important as is spending time with your friends.

Got a friend who’s husband does not allow her to do overnight any where he controls her

to me that says he don’t trust her . Did say just ask for one night with kids too ( no he will miss me too much ) stopped asking but to think all the fun she’s missing out on cos of be controlling twat . She was invited to be bridesmaid but he had to tag along up north …. Narc

It sounds like a fun thing to do.
I don't think it's selfish at all! Have you never gone away with your friends before?
If you don't fancy it, don't go, but she's not being unreasonable to invite you.
If your husband has a problem with you going away for a weekend, that's a whole other discussion, but no, your friend is in no way out of order!

Stop being so precious - she asked because she thought you were her friend - you can't go - no big deal - she doesn't "expect" you to go - she has asked? Asking is a question not a demand. Just say no..... I have often gone away for a weekend with friends - and left our children with my husband - even when they were a lot younger than yours! Loads of people do it. You never know the break might actually do you good. Your kids will have no issues with being selfish and going off to leave you on Bank Holidays in the future - you might do well to remember that!

do you not think you should have your own time away from the children and hubby ?

whats the problem guilt ? Or your husbands disapproval interested to hear what he has to say about it . You seem to suffer from mum shaming …your kids are teenagers they should know how to look after themself by now . It’s not ‘mean ‘ your choice of words is childish and tell me you may lack some emotional maturity . Sod them all go have fun .

your a mum 24 hours every other day of the year and let hubby step up now as someone said he has joint responsibility .

uour kids will grow up. Leave you and have their own life . Fact .

Why is it out of order ? If you resent her asking this much you should have told her ?? Do you want to go or will your dh be upset .

I’ve been on holidays regularly with my sisters no kids even when kids were younger now 19 and 11.

surely they can manage without you for three days . Or is it that you don’t want to let on will upset the household ?

be honest with your friend and you should be pleased someone likes your company enough to ask ! Go - one life live it !!!

This. Go or don’t go. You are angry with your friend for suggesting a weekend trip? Give your head a wobble

You think it's mean!?

I don't know if this is a severe attachment issue with Mum guilt, or you just need to get a grip.

Everyone is telling you to stop acting like a twit and go have fun.

There will be many more years, filled with many more bank holiday's in the future.

Honestly.

Good God. Mumsnet has really spoken on this. Totally not understanding your reasoning - you go away for two weeks anyway, but apparently a May bank holiday (one extra day) is somehow sacred? Please, explain!

Are you OK? Are you projecting something here? Have you never gone away for a girly weekend and let your partner just be a Father for 3 days!? Like, does he need his hand held? Are you still breastfeeding?

What a bizarre reaction. 😳

Good grief woman just say no!!! What a non post this is

Have you over reacted a little bit? She has just asked if you want to go away, you can say no.

You are very unreasonable to find a perfectly normal suggestion from your friend to be unreasonable, can’t your husband & children who are not babies amuse themselves for one long weekend. I find your response really quite strange & it’s sad that you can’t / won’t have a weekend away with your friend. Hope she has better friends than you to spend time with.

She isn’t being unreasonable to ask you, no! Lots of people would be up-for-it. Those who wouldn’t be would just say No! I don’t understand why you are being unpleasant about your friend unless she is trying to manipulate you into going 😮

It's obviously something you never (ever?) do, so why don't you see this as an opportunity to have a child/partner free, fun weekend? Your partner may also enjoy having some one to one time with the kids too.

Maybe they should. People need time to be individuals, not just parents. I agree it's unusual, but I go away for a week every year and sometimes the odd weekend away on my own, and DH doesn't mind a jot. Admittedly no kids, but I think I would have still done this if I had, once they were old enough to be left, and depending on finances.

I agree it is unusual but I've lost count of the number of times people have said 'Oh, that sounds like heaven' or similar or said they're jealous when I've mentioned my weeks away. I think a lot more people would do it if their circumstances permitted and if we weren't all fed this myth that we're supposed to want to be with our families every second of every day.

I cannot comprehend why it would be mean to go away without your family for a WEEKEND , EVER, when every single year you take two weeks solo holiday without your family. How can you reconcile those two positions?? It’s either fine to go away for the weekend, or you’re a terrible parent because you go away for two weeks. I can’t see any middle position where it’s fine to go away for two weeks but terrible to miss a bank holiday because they are SPECIAL.

Me and partner both have separate 2 week holidays every year with own friends, we each go long haul.

Missed this but it makes it even odder. This is an unusual thing to do when you have a partner and teenagers (or young DC but you obviously don’t).

Bank holidays aren’t somehow sacred time. But most people don’t use half their AL to get away from their families.

This is so odd

She’s not unreasonable at all for asking. You’re not unreasonable at all for saying no because you don’t want to go.

Whats totally unreasonable and quite odd is that you think she shouldn’t even have asked, or should have know you wouldn’t want to.

Plenty of people with a partner (yes well done OP, you have a man, not like there are loads of them about or anything) go away for weekends with friends. Loads of people with teenage or almost teen children, who will need very little looking after, do it.

"Sorry partner & DC, amuse yourselves for the 3 days. I'm off for a jolly from the Friday. See you Monday bank holiday evening sometime"

... sounds perfectly reasonable to me.

Your post reads as mummy martyrdom, OP, to me anyway.

I wouldn't want to go either but I wouldn't be offended to be invited.

Me and partner both have separate 2 week holidays every year with own friends, we each go long haul.

I completely missed this!!
It all makes even less sense.

Tbh, if my friend was happy to go away for 2 weeks without their partner or kids then I'd assume a long weekend would be no problem.

You really are very strange OP!

Are they wearing their eyebrows big in Bushey these days? Is that a thing?

Just. Don't. Go.