friend asking me to go away - AIBU ?

so what if she’s single ? Are you saying that your time is more important as your married with kids. Sounds to me like your consoling yourself because you can’t go - I think they call it FOMO fear of missing out . The fact that you want to ask mumsnet this question and not speak to your friend ‘ speaks volumes . Yes your married with kids so what you can have your own life too .

out of interest when you went swanning off for a week as you say .. where did you go ? How did they cope ? Did you enjoy it ?

If it weren’t for exams, she was a fun friend and assuming it was a nice location then I’d be there.

I think we can safely assume that everyone is capable of surviving perfectly well without op being around! Don't you?

So you go away for a week and have no problem swanning off for a week ? Yet you go on about three days ?? What’s the difference and what’s so special about bank holiday ??

I’m not sure why you are placing such importance on a bank holiday tbh. It’s no different from any other weekend except no work/school. It’s not like she’s proposing you go away every bank holiday weekend. Just one. Obviously you feel it’s unacceptable so don’t go.

You are acting as though she’s asked you to go away during DCs birthday or Christmas. Bizarre.

then just say no I want to spend bank holiday with my family but I can do another weekend?

my friends are going to a festival August bank hol and asked if I wanted to go, I said no because we always do something as a family that weekend. I’d be more offended if they didn’t ask me tbf…not sure what your problem is here

I think you should jump at the chance as long as it's financially viable! Your partner and 3 children are definitely old enough to be left and they may well enjoy be able to prove how responsible they can be.... including your partner!!!

OP has a two week solo holiday every year...

But OP has no guilt over her two week solo holiday every year?

So how does that work?

I don't think it's weird to not want to go, that's absolutely your prerogative if you'd prefer to spend time with your family, but I do think your reaction to being asked is absolutely weird. Your friend has no underhand or nefarious reason for inviting you to go away, that's a really normal request - even if you have children, even over a bank holiday weekend! You're free to say no - she's not in the wrong! The way you feel about this seems quite extreme.

It's a mums dilemma. I think you'd like to go but maybe feeling a bit guilty about it. Maybe just say thanks ,I would have enjoyed that but holiday weekend I'll be out and about with the family. Maybe you can do a wee overnight trip with her another time if you fancied it! Have a good holiday weekend whatever you do!

I imagine this is govened by the nature of your domestic relationship. Some might say this is outrageous; others, this is fine.

Your reaction is very weird, it's as if you're almost offended she suggested it? Why not suggest to go away one night or not at all? I wonder how people like you maintain friendships.

YABU your kids are pretty much all teenagers and would probably prefer spending the time with their friends. No reason why you couldn’t or shouldn’t go away with your friend.

if you don’t want to go that’s fine, but don’t blame it on having kids at home.

Yea she is probably thinking of herself primarily but u can say no thanks. You could suggest just going for a day out rather than a whole weekend

I'll go!

Wow. Do you do anything without your family?
I wouldn't think twice and off I would go. Who cares if it's a bank holiday weekend. They are not even babies they are teenagers! (and I would still go then!)
Sometimes you have your put yourself first.

If you don't want to go don't go, there is no need to create a weird fuss. Mothers do do this kind of thing all the time. It is not abnormal.
Sorry if that sounds harsh- but you sound abit shiny.

its almost like the world doesn't revolve around you! you are able to say no without the whole song and dance about what a selfish dreadful person she may or may not be. if you're this bothered maybe you shouldnt be friends with her.

Have you considered saying 'no'?

I think a lot of people in your situation with a partner and older children would feel happy going.
I have friends that work away Monday to Friday and leave hisbands and children on own.
I'm a solo parent so always on own with a child. It's not hard and your partner would cope fine.

You’re being ridiculous and precious . She doesn’t have to think about your responsibility to your family. She invited you but you can say no if you want to.

So tell her? She's not forcing you. Don't know what your problem is really

Wow @Bigbusheyeyebrows have you never done anything without your family. Has your husband never gone away with his friends either? It’s totally normal. I’ve been away without mine lots of times. So has my husband. Why would you not? I bet they would like having the house to themselves. It’s a different dynamic and gives dad more time to shine with his kids. You are massively unreasonable. Your friend is not.

She suggested going away for the weekend?

You can just say no???????????????

Honestly! The perpetually offended that get offended by everything. I have no idea why anyone would even want their company for 3 days straight.

It’s a Bank Holiday. Not Christmas