friend asking me to go away - AIBU ?

🙄!

Any view on if OP IBU?

But would you agree the friend was ‘out of order’ just to ask?

What an absolutely odd thing to be annoyed at your friend about. My friend often invites me to hers (she lives abroad), it’s totally impractical but I don’t get angry with her, I just say I will when the time is right 🤷‍♀️

You have a problem because she asked to spend some good times with you? She asked, you don’t want to - ok that’s fine if you don't want to. But there was nothing, at all, wrong with the asking. Be thankful you have a friend who is willing to holiday with you, you fool!

OP won’t return to this thread.

I probably think she’s embarrassed by her own post and reaction after reading everyone’s unanimous responses.

Goodluck and have a great fun relaxing bank holiday with your kids :)

a bloke would say yes in a heartbeat 😂

I agree, op. I wouldn’t leave kids and family. Mainly because I’d look forward to bank holiday with them

Maybe she just thinks you may fancy a break yourself?

I don’t think she’s unreasonable asking you. All you have to say is no, that you have plans with your family.

I am so confused by this OP. Why is it fine for you to have a longer holiday away with friends annually but not a few days over a bank holiday? It just makes no sense whatsoever to me.

Both are fine.

Your friend is not BU for asking.

Have a lay down.

Top tops go to mum jail like the rest of us lol

Fed up of the mum shaming shit lol

older female colleagues at work have always advised take time for yourself once a year so what ?

maybe your friend would appreciate the company as long as your not going on about your smug married complexities … personally a friend like yourself would annoy the hell out of me and if I got to know your views what you really think would quickly and kindly unfriendly you . There is enough judgement in the world and women adding guilt to this stereotype of family mindset just makes it worse .

do you think men think twice about their wives when invited to go away ? Do they rack selves with guilt saying in buggering off .. doubtful

If you don't want to go, just say no!
She is being nice to ask you.
I used to go away all the time for trips with friends leaving 3 kids with partner (who was fine with it.)
YABU!

I have a group of girlfriends I go away with each year, we once went away for a long weekend over the bank holiday. The ones with kids didn’t have any problem with it, nor did their husbands. It’s not like go away over the bank holiday every year.

If you don’t want to go just say so, but stop
making yourself out to be some kind of saint because of it.

YABU JUST SAY NO, WHY THE DRAMA

Just say no if you don't want to go, nothing unreasonable about been asked. Your.lids are old enough to cope with dad for a few days. What's the problem, you'd think she'd asked you to abandon them for years. If you don't want to go say no. But don't make he rout to be unreasonable because she asked you.

It’s not in the slightest bit unreasonable to ask, but I’m not sure why she’d want to go with you seeing that you have such a martyr complex. Just say no if you don’t want to go, and enjoy trying to persuade your 14 and 15 year old to spend the whole weekend with you.

If it was a business trip you’d be going & they’d be fine. In this case you’re having some much deserved me time, & they’ll be fine! It’s three days, they’re teenagers and will likely have plans with friends, especially as it’s a bank holiday weekend. If it was your DH in this position would he not go? Call your lovely friend & accept her kind invitation then go & have a great time! You’ll also be setting a great example to your kids that independent me time is super important! 😊

It's not unreasonable to feel like you want to spend BHs with your family.

It's not unreasonable to go away on a BH.

It's not unreasonable for your friend to ask you if you want to do something on a BH.

It's not unreasonable for your friend to not know you're slightly weird about BHs and can't possibly consider doing anything other than spending it with your family.

The only unreasonable thing is that you're for some reason aghast that she would ask you to "swan off".

Also how did they amuse themself for more than three days last time ?

Oh my what ever next? Coffee mid day ? Log this with 111 and go nc

Wonder what you’d do if you had to go swanning off for a work conference or actually for no bloody reason at all .

do you think people who go away ( mums ) on bank holiday are swanning off and they should stay with the family ??? What a judgement if that’s the case . Mums work bloody hard looking after their families bad enough without you adding to that judgement or creating this false narrative about bank holidays .

whst is your husbands feeling about bank holiday ? Is this all coming from you or him

Two weeks!

Also if you have such strong feelings have the conviction to say NO BH is family time instead of mulling it over on here

sounds to me like you want to go but want us all to reassure you that your doing the right thing by not going and yes your values are impeccable 🫠

You'll happily go away separately for two weeks with friends, but there's something wrong with this friend for asking you to go away for a weekend? That just doesn't make any sense.

The only explanation you've given for this seeming contradiction is because it's a bank holiday weekend, and for some reason you think bank holidays should be sacred family time. Can you please explain why it make such a difference that it happens to be a bank holiday?

Sounds like op is sending a message to her friend in a mum and I put my family first also as she thinks thinking otherwise shows people’s true colors ? I really think that she lacks the capacity to know when she is wrong and accept that everyone ( mostly ) has says yes you AB unreasonable ! You know what they say if you don’t like the answer maybe don’t ask .