friend asking me to go away - AIBU ?

I don’t get it. Going away for a long haul trip is fine in your eyes - a much longer time and presumably a much more significant cost - but a bank holiday magically makes it selfish? Utterly confusing. I might feel bad about going away long haul without my family because for us that would mean we couldn’t afford to go away together either financially or in terms of annual leave left. But a long weekend - assuming no problems affording it - sounds lovely.

fair enough if you don’t want to go - the answer is just no thanks - but why has your friend done something wrong?

I’m with you on this OP, I would feel a bit mean heading off on a bank holiday weekend, I’m sure DH would survive, and remember to feed the cat, but I wouldn’t do it.

*Me and partner both have separate 2 week holidays every year with own friends, we each go long haul.

It just doesn't sit right with me to swan off on a bank holiday weekend. Any other weekend would be fine, but there is something about it being a bank holiday, imo.*

You just have a really weird thing about bank holidays and 'swanning off'. Yet apparently you swan off for a fortnight with other friends. Why does a three-day weekend away appall you so much?? Bizarro!

Wow that’s an extreme reaction OP 😄 would you rather she didn’t ask you then and you never got the chance to go if you wanted to?

Why would your husband and kids have such an issue with it? My husband has just been away for a week for fun over the Easter hols and our kids are 9, 6 and 2. He’s actually gone away again today for a week for work. I’m going away for a week for fun in the summer.

Different families have different approaches and how would she know what yours is if she never asked??

I'd be out of there OP! Maybe just one or two nights but I'd not have any concerns about leaving DH with the kids!

AIBU to think she's BU by asking her me to go away with her for the whole weekend, when I have a partner and younger (12, 14,15) DC at home ?

She is not being unreasonable. She can ask. No offence was intended at all...why have you taken it?
I doubt the sanctity of bank holidays occurred to her.

🤣🤣🤣

2 week long separate holidays ✅
A couple of days with a friend over Bank Holiday 👹

Do you think you’re better than this friend perhaps?

You genuinely don't make sense? Bank holiday is when most people would head off?

At that age, how hard is it for your partner? Your kids aren't young, they are all secondary age

Exactly, mine probably wouldn't come off the Xbox the entire time I was away 🙄😁

There will be other bank holidays...

Your children are all of an age where they'll be absolutely fine without you and they'll have their dad there too! If you don't want to that's fine. But your reaction is very odd. My children are younger than yours and I have weekends away with friends - in fact I'm going away this weekend with my friend.

I'm so confused by this! What's different about a bank holiday except that you have an extra day so more worth it to go away? Unless you have specific bank holiday plans or traditions - but even then not unreasonable for her to ask.

Don't go then but I think you're being ridiculous OP. You sound insulted she even suggested it.

Plus your kids aren't babies/toddlers ffs.
They'll be fine and it being a bank holiday doesn't make it sacred time.

Your reasoning is a bit contradictory OP, you’re happy to “swan off” for a week with friends and leave your family to it but somehow a 3 day bank holiday weekend is a step too far? You sound offended she’s had the temerity to ask you, it’s really very odd.

I can't be the only who struggles to understand why 2 weeks (assuming not on a bank holiday) is fine but 3 days over a bank holiday is so terrible and your family can't possibly cope without you!?

This nuance is particular to you I think.

It’s not unreasonable for her to ask, but your partner may think you a tad unreasonable for disappearing on a bank holiday weekend when he may have been hoping to do family stuff with you?

Well, I doubt she'll ask you again...

@Bigbusheyeyebrows

Any other weekend would be fine, but there is something about it being a bank holiday, imo.

But what? What is that 'something'?

At that age, how hard is it for your partner? Your kids aren't young, they are all secondary age. Assuming he is their father, he can parent for a weekend surely? If he can't, why not? Would you begrudge him a weekend away with a mate?

I would love a long weekend away with a friend. I would bite her hand off and my H would be encouraging me to go!

I'd be a pretty insulted if I was your husband tbh, that you think the kids will be somehow damaged or negatively affected by having a few days with him and not you / both of you.

What is selfish about going away for a weekend when you have teenage children? Can you explain a bit further what exactly is selfish about it? I'm baffled.

Your kids are quite old for you to be so concerned about leaving them for 3 days op. I’m sure they’d all cope without you. Hopefully your friend finds a more appreciative person to go with

I thought you were going to say you had babies/toddlers!
Nothing wrong with going on a girl's trip, Isn't a BH weekend better than when they're all at school?
If you don't want to go, fair enough but YABU to imply she's done anything wrong or selfish.
I think it's good to do things for yourself, not selfish but necessary.