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AIBU?

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Original poster

friend asking me to go away - AIBU ?

563 replies

Bigbusheyeyebrows · 16/04/2024 17:36

My friend is single and will be child free bank holiday weekend while her (practically adult) children are at their dads. She has suggested me and her going away for the weekend

AIBU to think she's BU by asking her me to go away with her for the whole weekend, when I have a partner and younger (12, 14,15) DC at home ?

"Sorry partner & DC, amuse yourselves for the 3 days. I'm off for a jolly from the Friday. See you Monday bank holiday evening sometime"

I think it's out of order for me to just bugger off the whole 3 days and for my friend to think this is OK/expect me to go.

OP posts:
CatHerderSupreme · 16/04/2024 18:33

Bigbusheyeyebrows · 16/04/2024 17:44

It's nice of her to ask me but surely she realises that I have family at home and cannot just swan off and leave them to it for 3 days, especially on a bank holiday.

They would of course all be fine without me and I can go if I want. no worries there. It just feels a bit off for me to go and quite selfish tbh.

Nothing wrong with a bit of swanning. Friends are important too.

MonsieurSpade · 16/04/2024 18:32

My teens were really annoying me once so I left the house for an hour - they didn’t even notice.
Seriously @Bigbusheyeyebrows your family almost certainly wouldn’t turn down a holiday with friends because ‘we can’t leave Mum on a bank holiday.’

Iaskedyouthrice · 16/04/2024 18:31

Bank Holidays are the best time to go away with friends as no school run or work ( if you're lucky) for whoever is at home to deal with on Monday morning.
I hope you haven't said any of this out loud to your 'friend'. Some thoughts are best kept on the inside.
Very strange take on your friend asking something 100% normal.

ButWhatAboutTheBees · 16/04/2024 18:31

Do you have BH plans that she knows about?

Because that's the only reason I can see for being precious about a BH

It's not Easter or Christmas when you tend to have definite family commitments

Delatron · 16/04/2024 18:31

Ladybir · 16/04/2024 18:15

I can't be the only who struggles to understand why 2 weeks (assuming not on a bank holiday) is fine but 3 days over a bank holiday is so terrible and your family can't possibly cope without you!?

I’m so confused. 2 weeks fine but 3 days not because it’s a sacred bank holiday. This is so strange.

Iggi999 · 16/04/2024 18:30

😂

Sassysia · 16/04/2024 18:30

This is bizarre!! I’m sure your teen kids will not mind at all if mum isn’t about on the “bank holiday” weekend! 😂

Datgal · 16/04/2024 18:29

I don't understand this. What are single people supposed to do if all people thought like you?? Never go away if they don't have other single friends?
Just absolutely weird thinking in my opinion.

Namechangeforthis88 · 16/04/2024 18:29

DH used to have a week of late shifts in his shift pattern and we wouldn't see him for a week. At least once it wasn't till Thursday DS seemed to notice.

Noshowlomo · 16/04/2024 18:29

It’s fine if you don’t want to, but it’s completely ok to go away for a long weekend with kids that age. (And younger!)

BoohooWoohoo · 16/04/2024 18:28

Yabu unless there’s more to it like dad is useless or you can’t afford the money.

Lots of parents go away with friends leaving the other parent in charge. Your kids are not exactly being breastfed.

K0OLA1D · 16/04/2024 18:28

I go a festival every year without dp and dc. They're 12 and 10 now.

YABU

DDivaStar · 16/04/2024 18:28

Its not unreasonable for her to ask or for you to want to go. If you don't want to go just say no you have plans.

Going away very weekend is selfish, going away every bank holiday weekend us selfish. Going away on one Bank Holiday is just taking some time out.

Maybe your H and kids will do something they fancy that they don't think you'd enjoy....

Nonewclothes2024 · 16/04/2024 18:27

Bigbusheyeyebrows · 16/04/2024 17:44

It's nice of her to ask me but surely she realises that I have family at home and cannot just swan off and leave them to it for 3 days, especially on a bank holiday.

They would of course all be fine without me and I can go if I want. no worries there. It just feels a bit off for me to go and quite selfish tbh.

Why ? You could go. It's not weird at all.

Purpleturtle45 · 16/04/2024 18:27

Geez that's ridiculous, what a lovely offer, if you can't do it then just say no thanks. I have 3 younger kids than yours and I am going away the May bank holiday with friend Thurs-Sun to the South of France. My husband is happy for me to get a break and perfectly capable of looking after them! It means I can recharge my batteries and I don't feel guilty one bit!

minou123 · 16/04/2024 18:26

Bigbusheyeyebrows · 16/04/2024 18:17

@whatsitcalledwhen I don't know ! It just doesn't sit right with me that it's a bank holiday weekend. It just feels selfish. But from what everyone is saying, it's not selfish at all.

Then don't go, it's fine.

What I don't understand is why you've started a post on MN to essentially be mean/unkind about your friend?

It's so strange.

Your friend asked you a perfectly nice and reasonable question if you would like to go away for a bank holiday. All you have to say to your friend is
"Thank you for the invite. Unfortunately I can't go away this bank holiday, but thank you for thinking of me"

That's it. What's all the drama about?

Springtime43 · 16/04/2024 18:26

ApolloandDaphne · 16/04/2024 18:25

There is absolutely nothing odd about her asking you to go away with her over a bank holiday. It's also fine for you to not want to go. No need to make out it was a super weird thing to ask.

True

ApolloandDaphne · 16/04/2024 18:25

There is absolutely nothing odd about her asking you to go away with her over a bank holiday. It's also fine for you to not want to go. No need to make out it was a super weird thing to ask.

Itsokish · 16/04/2024 18:25

Bigbusheyeyebrows · 16/04/2024 18:17

@whatsitcalledwhen I don't know ! It just doesn't sit right with me that it's a bank holiday weekend. It just feels selfish. But from what everyone is saying, it's not selfish at all.

Errr many of us have to work over bank holidays….what do you do that is so special over a BH ?

Springtime43 · 16/04/2024 18:25

I wouldn’t go somewhere without DH over Easter, that wouldn’t feel right.

RhiWrites · 16/04/2024 18:24

If you don’t actually like her, then say that (to us, not her). But I see no issue with spending a long weekend with a good friend even if you do have a partner and kids. The kids are teenagers, it’s not as though they’ll be doing anything except sleeping.

Stuckinthemiddle7890 · 16/04/2024 18:23

Op you really got a bashing. I don't get why ppl are so shocked, you're just thinking of your family and i think it's nice you have your family in your thoughts, I don't think it's a big deal your friend asked but I get your point, she's all set to go because she's free but you have obligations. Just tell her you don't think you can make it or maybe have a little think and see if a break will do you good.

Createausername1970 · 16/04/2024 18:23

I went away with friends when DS was younger. I might not have done this over a BH weekend though, but going away for another weekend with friends is perfectly fine.

SallyWD · 16/04/2024 18:23

Bigbusheyeyebrows · 16/04/2024 18:17

@whatsitcalledwhen I don't know ! It just doesn't sit right with me that it's a bank holiday weekend. It just feels selfish. But from what everyone is saying, it's not selfish at all.

But there are two bank holidays in May and we've just had the Easter bank holidays so I don't see a problem with being away for one of them. No doubt you'll be spending plenty of time with your family in half term and the summer holidays too.

Itsokish · 16/04/2024 18:22

BringItOnxxx · 16/04/2024 17:56

Get a grip

This🙄My children never batted an eyelid if me or husband buggered off for a few days and that was from a very young age !!

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