friend asking me to go away - AIBU ?

I've never heard of holding Bank Holidays in such high regard.

Perhaps she thought that because you 'swan off' for two whole weeks without your kids every year a weekend would be ok.

God I would..... Although I need to work most bank holidays anyway

For context, DS is 6

But it's a BANK HOLIDAY. 😂
You've lost the plot OP.

Surely this is a reverse though?

If not, you’re really weird. You can’t countenance spending a single bank holiday without your husband, but you quite happily spend a total of 4 weeks every year without them while you each go in long-haul holidays with friends?? (I’m assuming you go at separate times so one stays with the children).

The other thing is that it’s not just that you don’t want to go, but you have started a thread complaining that your friend is unreasonable to have even asked you as she should have known you’d want spend it with your family.
a) if she knows your track record for going away without them at other times she would have had no reason to expect you’d feel so strongly against it.
b) it’s pretty self-centred of you to expect that your friend will put you at the centre of her thoughts so much that she should know all your feelings and would be unreasonable to even invite you to something.

This. Bit of time to yourself is not a bad thing

YABU for thinking she is BU.

She can ask, you can say no.
It's really that simple

Even if it is selfish, there’s nothing wrong with being selfish sometimes.

You've made up a weird rule about bank holidays and expect everyone else to think the same. There’s nothing wrong with doing whatever TF you like on a bank holiday (providing each partner gets equal me-time of course)

This! Just say no Op, no drama!

But OP didn't ask if she was unreasonable for not wanting to go.

She asked if her friend was "unreasonable" for even asking OP, because OP has a husband and children at home.

Don't you think that's completely bizarre?

You can feel however you like about whether or not you spend a BH weekend apart from your family. What's bizarre about your OP is that you're actively offended (apparently very much so) that your friend suggested it. She did absolutely nothing wrong. It was a suggestion. You say, "sorry, I have plans to be with the family" and that's it.

I honestly can't see why you're so terribly offended by her invitation.

So just say, thanks but no thanks. There is no obligation on you to go anywhere if you don't want to.

But your question was whether your friend was unreasonable to ask. And the answer is no, she wasn't.

Surely the best time to ‘swan off and leave them to it for three days’ is over a bank holiday?!
no work / school drop offs to juggle. No faff of lunch boxes or maybe even after school clubs etc.

id have thought a different time would create more of a headache as any of those above jobs that fall to you wouldn’t need to be covered.

anyway just say no thank you if it’s a problem for you.

Not at all! :)

Is it a coincidence that the post starts with ‘My friend is single’? I don’t think so.

You might have a point if you didn’t go off for 2 weeks every year without your family.

I’m guessing you don’t go away with this friend, hence your outrage at her daring to ask you.

Ooooooooh. I get it.

YOU have a family, SHE is a single mother with children who will be with their father.

Your relationship and children are sacrosanct, and she's just a random with time to kill who had the termerity to invite you along on her feckless time to herself.

You are not covering yourseof in glory in how you speak about her commitments and yours, OP.

What would you be doing on this particular BHol wkend that you wouldn't do on another weekend? There'll be another BHol along soon. You can spend that one with your family. Soon enough your teens are going to want to spend the BHol with their friends. Don't make them feel that they're selfish to want to go spend time with friends rather than spending the weekend with you.

I know what you are saying OP.
We see weekends and bank holidays as family time and l would feel a bit bad going off with a mate for a whole weekend too.

Massive overreaction. Your teenagers won’t care it’s a BH weekend. It’s hardly like you have 3 toddlers at home.
your friend was nice to ask, wish I could go!

Loads of people go away for weekends and leave their partners and kids to it.

you could compromise - leave after lunch one day get back early afternoon next day?

Unless she’s asking you to go away for Christmas then I don’t understand this “bank holiday” drama at all.

Sorry OP, you're bonkers!

It's a lovely thing for your friend to do to ask you if you fancy a weekend away.

It's up to you if you'd prefer to stay at home looking after a grown man and three practically grown up children. If that's what you'd prefer, just decline the kind invitation from your friend.

I see no reason whatsoever that all 8 bank holidays every year need to be preserved for family time. TBH, the teens will probably be happiest left to their own devices anyway!

I think it's really odd that your question was whether she was being unreasonable to ask you. As if she's put you in some sort of difficult position or caused drama somehow.

It would have made more sense to ask 'AIBU for feeling it would be selfish for me to go away during a bank holiday' because while the answer would still have been 'no, absolutely not if you wanted to' at least it would been a question about your own behaviour.

But to have questioned whether she was "unreasonable" to ask you is absolutely bizarre, and comes across as if you are judging her somehow.

How strange I'm going away early may bank holiday, with friends, I have a five year old, see him every day, he'll be fine with his dad

Hold on, let's see if I've got this:

You think your friend should not have asked you in the first place, because she should have realised or known that you think (have the opinion) that its mean and selfish to go away on a BH with mates, if you have family at home.

Is that right?

If so, just tell her that. 100% guarantee she will never ask you again.

No, me too.