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AIBU?

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Original poster

friend asking me to go away - AIBU ?

563 replies

Bigbusheyeyebrows · 16/04/2024 17:36

My friend is single and will be child free bank holiday weekend while her (practically adult) children are at their dads. She has suggested me and her going away for the weekend

AIBU to think she's BU by asking her me to go away with her for the whole weekend, when I have a partner and younger (12, 14,15) DC at home ?

"Sorry partner & DC, amuse yourselves for the 3 days. I'm off for a jolly from the Friday. See you Monday bank holiday evening sometime"

I think it's out of order for me to just bugger off the whole 3 days and for my friend to think this is OK/expect me to go.

OP posts:
TeabySea · 16/04/2024 21:38

I had 2 lovely weekends away with friends last year. Friend 1 is married, with older DC than me, friend 2 is single.
In my absence, DH managed to cope perfectly well with our DC.

Recently DH had a weekend away solo, at a hobby thing. Prior to that he'd had a few days away with a friend.

I don't really see why a friend asking you to go away is a problem.

OnHerSolidFoundations · 16/04/2024 21:38

Why not just go & have fun?
Your kids Dad can look after his own children for a weekend OP.

TeenLifeMum · 16/04/2024 21:38

😂😂😂 terrible parent over here. I have 3 dds aged 12-16 and if a friend asked if I wanted to go away one bank holiday I’d very likely say yes! Sounds lovely. Dc are perfectly happy with their very capable father.

Delphiniumandlupins · 16/04/2024 21:37

It's fine that you think Bank Holidays should be spent with your family but it's not unreasonable or selfish or mean that your friend should consider a trip away with you at that time. It's just not sacrosanct to her so it's weird you are so offended.

KateMiskin · 16/04/2024 21:37

I wish someone would ask me to go away. I would happily swan away.

Needtofixmyageingskin · 16/04/2024 21:36

Lol it's not like you'd be leaving a newborn behind. I'd love a weekend away!

Nanny0gg · 16/04/2024 21:33

Bigbusheyeyebrows · 16/04/2024 18:11

I'm not a martyr, all of them can cope without me. There is no SEN or safe guarding issues. Partner is a great dad. Me and partner both have separate 2 week holidays every year with own friends, we each go long haul.

It just doesn't sit right with me to swan off on a bank holiday weekend. Any other weekend would be fine, but there is something about it being a bank holiday, imo.

Edited

Weird

Rachie1973 · 16/04/2024 21:33

Bigbusheyeyebrows · 16/04/2024 18:11

I'm not a martyr, all of them can cope without me. There is no SEN or safe guarding issues. Partner is a great dad. Me and partner both have separate 2 week holidays every year with own friends, we each go long haul.

It just doesn't sit right with me to swan off on a bank holiday weekend. Any other weekend would be fine, but there is something about it being a bank holiday, imo.

Edited

So you go away alone, I fail to see how she’s out of order asking you.

just weird.

badhappenings · 16/04/2024 21:33

You are hugely over-reacting.
Of course she can ask you.
The sky won't fall in if you go away for 3 days. Lots of people do.

IncompleteSenten · 16/04/2024 21:33

Each to their own but there are what? 8 ? Bank holiday weekends a year?

I'd happily bugger off for one of them. Suggest my husband takes another one for himself and that still leaves 6 for family time.

You go away without your family for two weeks a year.

What is it about bank holidays specifically that make them feel like sacred family time to you? Did you do things as a kid with your parents maybe?

OrangeSlices998 · 16/04/2024 21:32

Bigbusheyeyebrows · 16/04/2024 19:00

I'm not better than my friend. No one is any better than anytime else. And anyone who has suggested that, has only shown their own true colours.
We get a handful of BHs a year in UK. An extra few days scattered over the year, to spend with family imo. We don't have any BH rituals or a given expectations in our family. I just think it's mean to go away on a BH with mates, if you have family at home. I'm clearly in the minority on this !

My husband went on a 5 day stag do over the Easter BH weekend, honestly go if you want or don’t go. You’re BVU if you think the friend should know your weird rules about a bank holiday and not invite you!

Harrysmummy246 · 16/04/2024 21:32

Bigbusheyeyebrows · 16/04/2024 18:11

I'm not a martyr, all of them can cope without me. There is no SEN or safe guarding issues. Partner is a great dad. Me and partner both have separate 2 week holidays every year with own friends, we each go long haul.

It just doesn't sit right with me to swan off on a bank holiday weekend. Any other weekend would be fine, but there is something about it being a bank holiday, imo.

Edited

@Bigbusheyeyebrows just as well you don't have a job where bank holidays are just like every other day then and you have to decide whether to use a day off for them or not (I won't be on early may BH as all my leave is booked til end Feb 25 apart from one day)

DH, DS and dogs will likely go off in new camper van for some exploration while I just have peace at home.

And if you're ok buggering off long haul for two weeks, this seems an odd reaction for a couple of nights.

RedRobyn2021 · 16/04/2024 21:31

@Bigbusheyeyebrows 👀

I don't think that's selfish. I bet you do a lot for your family, that sounds really fun

You should go OP

EmmaEmerald · 16/04/2024 21:30

Bonkers
I'd love to spend BH with a friend, I'll go with her.

KateMiskin · 16/04/2024 21:20

It always surprises me what people on MN get offended by. That and how they martyr themselves.

Figgygal · 16/04/2024 21:20

I'd be off in a shot
No idea why you're being so precious about a bank holiday weekend,your kids should be pretty capable without you, just a very odd reaction

UneFoisAuChalet · 16/04/2024 21:18

It’s a bank holiday - not Christmas FFS.

sandrapinchedmysandwich · 16/04/2024 21:18

Slobberchops1 · 16/04/2024 17:40

You are allowed time away from your kids and partner , I don’t see the issue

if you don’t want to go just say no thanks . No need to make a massive deal out of it . Do you live for drama ?

This. What a weird post. Your poor friend

FlissyPaps · 16/04/2024 21:18

ltappleby · 16/04/2024 21:07

Yes 😂 I don’t really get the point of them. I like Rimmer’s line on Red Dwarf - “I’ve come to think of you as people I know”

Show quote history

Sorry it just really tickled me!🤣 Ah Red Dwarf- must rewatch.

MassiveOvaryaction · 16/04/2024 21:18

I've seen it all on here now 🙄

She's not a bad person to ask.

You're not a bad person to decline.

Is there anything that she "is* allowed to ask you to do? Would 1 night away be ok for example?

WorkCleanRepeat · 16/04/2024 21:14

Its not a strange request and personally I'd go if my kids were the age of yours. It's hardly leaving your DH flying solo with 3 toddlers.

Awwlookatmybabyspider · 16/04/2024 21:12

She asked you said no,end of. There's no need for a bloody volcano over it, move on.

fedupwithbeingcold · 16/04/2024 21:11

I don't see anything wrong with her asking, and also nothing wrong with you accepting. There's no difference between leaving your family alone on a BH weekend or any other long weekend of your choice. Your reaction is really odd

HMW1906 · 16/04/2024 21:11

Just say no if you don’t want to go, ffs 🙄. It’s absolutely not weird to go away for a weekend and leave your teen children at home with their father/a responsible adult. I’ve been away for a long weekend with a friend and left my then 15month old with his father (my DH), they were absolutely fine, no one died and they had a great time without me!

Tetchypants · 16/04/2024 21:10

Catlover77 · 16/04/2024 21:07

Why can’t you just ‘swan off’? Live a little

She does, for two whole weeks a year with her other mates… that’s what’s so bizarre about this whole thing!