Active discussions

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

No dinner after 120 mile journey

60 replies

spanieleyes22 · 16/04/2024 16:35

So I travelled to see my sister who is ill and when I got there her dh said to me that he had made spag bol for himself and the 2 kids but that I could have a look in the kitchen and cook something for myself and my sister (who didn't want a dinner as she didn't feel like it)

In the end my sis said to him could I not have the spag bol as well and he said perhaps but that he needed to eat with the kids 8 and 14. So he cooked pasta for them and the 3 of them sat up to the table and had their meal. Then he called me and showed me the uncooked spaghetti and the leftover bol and said I could cook mine.

What do you all
Think

OP posts:
Original poster
spanieleyes22 · 16/04/2024 17:35

After the weekend with him in my mind I'm thinking I will never ever visit them again. I'll meet my sister out of the house or she can come to mine with the kids who I adore. But I can't be around him it's really upset me. Am I selfish should I be more tough

OP posts:
Original poster
spanieleyes22 · 16/04/2024 17:33

Loubelle70 · 16/04/2024 17:06

Tbh hes a selfish twat.
If i was already part cooking pasta, i would give you my portion and boil some after everyone had theirs on their plate. If i invite someone to stay, i cook meals. My bro came to stay and he didnt have to lift a finger, but nonetheless, even if hes run ragged, another portion of spaghetti wont kill him. Selfish man food situation

Yeh same. But it wasn't even a timing thing. He did it deliberately and told me what the plan was before he even boiled the water. He said he was eating with the kids but I could cook my own when they were done

OP posts:
Loubelle70 · 16/04/2024 17:06

Tbh hes a selfish twat.
If i was already part cooking pasta, i would give you my portion and boil some after everyone had theirs on their plate. If i invite someone to stay, i cook meals. My bro came to stay and he didnt have to lift a finger, but nonetheless, even if hes run ragged, another portion of spaghetti wont kill him. Selfish man food situation

Neverthetwainshall · 16/04/2024 17:05

He doesn't want you there, so is trying to make you feel awkward, buy some microwave meals and ignore him, look after you sister

Original poster
spanieleyes22 · 16/04/2024 17:05

I did cook for everyone. The next day: I felt I couldn't say anything as he didn't really give me a chance and also I didn't want to rock the boat or upset my sis so I just did what he said

OP posts:
BrownTroutBlues · 16/04/2024 17:00

spanieleyes22 · 16/04/2024 16:52

Ok I must be the weird one. I would never sit up and eat dinner and clear up and then call them and say ok you can cook your own. People don't understand that he deliberately did this. It's not a timing thing . I sat on my own at the table about 20 mins after ten3 of them had finished.

I really don’t think you’re the weirdo here.
I’ve had to reread all your posts because I just don’t get why someone would deliberately exclude someone else that’s in the house.
Whats wrong with this guy.

Why not just say, if you’re cooking can you cook for me too as it’s a bit weird that you don’t. Offer to take turns and you cook for everyone next time.

Some people are soooo weird

SheepAndSword · 16/04/2024 16:56

@spanieleyes22 sorry about your sis.

It was unkind of him given that you are a guest and you're worried about her.

You have made me crave spaghetti bolognese now though! I'd just need some peppers.

TheScenicWay · 16/04/2024 16:55

Your poor sister. She sounds very ill and her husband sounds horrible.

Original poster
spanieleyes22 · 16/04/2024 16:55

spanieleyes22 · 16/04/2024 16:52

Ok I must be the weird one. I would never sit up and eat dinner and clear up and then call them and say ok you can cook your own. People don't understand that he deliberately did this. It's not a timing thing . I sat on my own at the table about 20 mins after ten3 of them had finished.

It's not a timing thing. He came up to the bedroom and told my sister he was going to start cooking the pasta. But that I was cooking something different for her and me. And she said she didn't want anything and why couldn't I have some spag bol. So he said ok. He then went down and cooked enough for himself and kids: ate dinner with them/ then let me
Know the stove was free to cook my own pasta. I did this and sat up
By myself . Hope that's clear. It wasn't a timing thing

OP posts:
NeedToChangeName · 16/04/2024 16:53

It was the same on Sunday I cooked dinner and we arranged 5 pm but at 5 he was still in the pub so I went ahead and ate with the kids and left a plate for him

He was punishing you for this, I guess

Original poster
spanieleyes22 · 16/04/2024 16:52

Ok I must be the weird one. I would never sit up and eat dinner and clear up and then call them and say ok you can cook your own. People don't understand that he deliberately did this. It's not a timing thing . I sat on my own at the table about 20 mins after ten3 of them had finished.

OP posts:
Hankunamatata · 16/04/2024 16:52

What an idiot. I would have just stuck kn a second pan of boiling water and cooked yours.

Easipeelerie · 16/04/2024 16:51

He sounds a bit odd and inflexible. When people do weird stuff like that, I try not to judge too hard as they likely think in a different way to most people.

Sandwichblock · 16/04/2024 16:50

spanieleyes22 · 16/04/2024 16:45

But why couldn't he put on enough for 4 of us? We had already had the discussion up I. The bedroom that there was enough sauce for me. He then went down to the kitchen and cooked enough pasta for himself and the kids . Ate his dinner. Called up to me I could make my pasta when I wanted to

You said he'd already started cooking it.

Original poster
spanieleyes22 · 16/04/2024 16:50

ifonly4 · 16/04/2024 16:44

He doesn't want you there.

Is your sister seriously ill? If not, twice in a week seems a bit excessive, so maybe that's what he thought.

Pneumonia and pleurisy. 1 ambulance. 2 visits to a and e.3 gp
Visits

OP posts:
Sandwichblock · 16/04/2024 16:49

spanieleyes22 · 16/04/2024 16:41

Because he already had started boiling jt so he couldn't add more in iukwim

Show quote history

Well then he was right, he had to finish what he was cooking. You must have had to wait 10 minutes for dinner at most.

TheShellBeach · 16/04/2024 16:48

Called up to me I could make my pasta when I wanted to

And you did.

Maybe he thought you'd want to spend time with your sister, as that was the reason for your journey and visit? And there's nothing worse than overcooked pasta.

Original poster
spanieleyes22 · 16/04/2024 16:45

But why couldn't he put on enough for 4 of us? We had already had the discussion up I. The bedroom that there was enough sauce for me. He then went down to the kitchen and cooked enough pasta for himself and the kids . Ate his dinner. Called up to me I could make my pasta when I wanted to

OP posts:
AGodawfulsmallaffair · 16/04/2024 16:45

TheShellBeach · 16/04/2024 16:36

You've already posted this.
That's what I think.

😆

ifonly4 · 16/04/2024 16:44

He doesn't want you there.

Is your sister seriously ill? If not, twice in a week seems a bit excessive, so maybe that's what he thought.

Original poster
spanieleyes22 · 16/04/2024 16:43

MeMyCatsAndMyBooks · 16/04/2024 16:36

I hope you told him that he was rude.

No I chickened out

OP posts:
TheShellBeach · 16/04/2024 16:43

spanieleyes22 · 16/04/2024 16:41

Because he already had started boiling jt so he couldn't add more in iukwim

Show quote history

Then you've answered your own question.
He showed you the dry pasta and the bolognese sauce and left you to make your own.

IIRC your sister didn't want any. It takes 7 minutes to cook pasta. Not much effort required on your part.

ABwithAnItch · 16/04/2024 16:42

There is something wrong with him, that’s what I think. Hoe hard is it to make extra spag bol?! What a CF.

Original poster
spanieleyes22 · 16/04/2024 16:41

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

Because he already had started boiling jt so he couldn't add more in iukwim

OP posts:
Original poster
spanieleyes22 · 16/04/2024 16:40

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

Definitely not made up hand on heart this is
Exactly what happened .

OP posts:
Swipe left for the next trending thread