Thinking that women would benefit if they were more open minded about height in a potential partner…

I don't think there's anything wrong if the marriage is giving you what you list in your last paragraph. Isn't that what marriage is largely? Companionship, shared life and family commitment? That sounds like a good marriage to me, assuming faithfulness and not checking whether there's any better offers. You can be content with that and happy.

It's just wrong if someone's staying because they don't think they could do better and would toss the relationship if they thought they'd have another option. That's not being companionable, committed or having a view of life together.

Maybe they fear they’ll be seen as less of a man/a wimp if they complain about it, in away women are not.

We're not talking about covert abuse of men. We're talking about men being called fat or bald at work. Unless solitary women are whispering it to them then I imagine it's witnessed (PP has witnessed it for starters) so if they complain they will have as much chance of being believed as a woman in the same circumstances would. When an employee raises a grievance its a legal right for it to be investigated. To suggest that men somehow don't know this (despite women who apparantly do complain managing to know) is just making excuses. Women have had to fight long and hard for the right not to be abused, exploited and subject to sexist insults, even mauled by males at work. If a man can't use a grievance procedure to defend himself against being called bald, then its a poor show, isn't it?

It's no better when it's a woman.

yes same.

So i would put in a rule that women must leave the very tall men for those taller women!

Only allowed +3inch difference.

To be fair, it would also be good if other women left the rich men alone. or the intelligent ones. hard to find a man at times who had same salary as i did. Or was as intelligent. 😆

YABU for two reasons. I don't think there are many women who would refuse to date a man under 6ft tall unless they are a giantess themselves.

Plenty of women won't date very short men, say under 5ft 6in, because of course below that height there is an increased risk of finding someone with "short man syndrome" and so it's fair enough to ignore men shorter than that. I just don't believe there's a widespread cutoff of 6ft.

I'd hazard a guess that for every woman who doesn't want to date a shorter man there's a man who wouldn't date a taller woman.

The idea that men might be more judged on/disadvantaged by appearance than women seems ridiculous to me.

It doesn’t reflect very well on your mate’s character that the reason he isn’t leaving is hat he fears it will take too long to procure a replacement.

I’ve always felt that very short women and very tall men look ridiculous together. Much more so than a couple where the woman is 6ins taller than the man (as is the case with my DB and SIL). I’m 5ft 1.5 and my perfect height is between 5ft 6 and 5ft 9. I like to be able to feel my boobs against DH’s chest when we hug, and not have to stand several feet away to look him in the eye without getting a crick.

In our workplace several women tease the men for being fat, bald or for their fashion choices. If the men teased the women for being fat, ugly or wearing bad clothes they would be hauled before HR in 5 seconds flat.

I have worked in predominantly male workplaces and men mercilessly tease each other about the same things. Too fat, too skinny, too good looking. Generally speaking, because of course there are exceptions, it doesn’t appear to bother them in the same way that it does women.

For this reason alone, men who are abused aren’t believed a lot of the time… it’s laughed off and not taken seriously, or excuses are made for it.

It either doesn’t bother them enough to make a big deal of it, or they know it will lead to ill feeling in the office, or they flat out feel nothing will change.. or potentially get worse.

Either way I’m disgusted that poster just sits back while that happens to be honest, no one should be openly bullied at work because of their appearance, it’s disgusting.

Honestly, preach to the men on OLD as I'm not sure how many of them are prioritising a woman's character over her looks.

'HR' doesn't typically roam the office on the look out for insults so they can haul men in for disciplinary action for insulting women, while excusing women for insulting men. People are disciplined if inappropriate comments are reported, and confirmed, with men and women equally protected under law.
If men are failing to report the offensive remarks made about men, then they need to start doing so, and it would stop being tolerated. I struggle to imagine an office so entirely controlled by women, with the men so undermined and cowed that they are unable to speak up, take action and defend themselves. After all, they are statically likely to be in the better paid, higher status power positions, perfectly placed to stamp out any mistreatment of their own sex. If they can't be bothered, it suggests they're not that bothered. So why should we be on their behalf?

Almost all of my friends and women I know are married to or dating men under 6'. I am just under 5'10" so it's easy for me to tell who is taller. I have dated men my height and a little shorter but actually most men don't want to date women who are taller than them so there's a prejudice that way too.

All depends on priorities really i think

Oh christ, are you friends with my younger brother?

Don't fall for it if so. He's had one relationship after another, including at least one affair during this marriage. The issue isn't height. Depth, possibly.

Also he’s the sort you would match with on OLD and even if you didn’t care about it he’d be telling you you couldn’t wear heels or some such nonsense. Or keep on questioning why you are with him or what your motives are. Confidence is sexy, he sounds insecure which is always going to be a massive turn off.

So yes I agree he’ll struggle OLD, but not for the reasons he thinks

NonPlayerCharacter
I take your point. Some apprehension about what the dating scene will look like is understandable when leaving a long term relationship, for men and women. It's a period of transition and a leap into the unknown.

Making the decision on staying or leaving a marriage based based on whether people would be queuing up to date you is an attitude from a certain type of man. Complaining that you might not be everyone's type is also an attitude from a certain type of man. These attitudes are most likely to be a bigger barrier in the dating scene than how tall a man is.

There's lots of perfectly nice men who aren't 6 foot tall in happy, healthy relationships, or single and enjoying the dating scene.

Doesn’t sound like his marriage is in that good of a place if he brought this up with you. You say that it was one of his reasons yet not mention what the others were. Was this the reason that was most important to him or the one that caught your attention the most?

I’ve done it. Stuck with someone for a few years because I didn’t want to be on my own. Eventually dumped him.

I don't get this and never understand why we get told to compromise/lower our criteria/that we're searching for a unicorn, we are attracted to who we find attractive.

I never think about height (my joke about taller than me in heels still stands though) if I find someone attractive then I find them attractive. They could be 5ft10 or 6ft7 for all I care.

I'm not going to date someone over 6ft that I don't find attractive but again if someone is under 6ft and i find them attractive I'm not going to turn them down.

They don't have to be perfect but they have to be perfect for you.

And women don’t do that ?. I know at least three.

To be fair a lot of things are called misogyny on here that aren’t as extremes as threats or inciting hatred.

You have to be prepared to make your arguments from a logical and well reasoned place, not just an unshakeable stance of ‘women ALWAYS right men ALWAYS wrong’

And how many women post ‘I can’t leave him because nobody else will want me’ with the replies ‘awww hun, he sounds a total twat and has clearly ground you down over the years’.

Literally nobody would call her an arsehole or accuse her of using him for sex.

Why is it beyond your imagination that he’s staying for companionship, shared lifestyle and commitment to their family life?

Don't be silly. 'Shocking and blatant misandry' would be women inciting other women to oppress and hurt men. Sexually assaulting those they felt entitled to, attacking and murdering them in their hatred. If you're going to throw out a term as a parallel to misogyny, describing it as 'shocking' you should make sure it really is its equal opposite. Otherwise you are as guilty of the 'theatrics' you agreed others showed.