Thinking that women would benefit if they were more open minded about height in a potential partner…

Hyperbole doesn’t help anyone. He doesn’t sound like an incel.

I think it’s nonsense. I’m sure there are people who find height a particularly key characteristic but it’s unlikely to be critical in the majority of relationships.

I hate to admit I recently overlooked someone due to height. This person was great in every other respect - dr, very handsome with good values. We are both half Indian so it was amazing to find someone who has gone through similar experiences.

But he was only 5 ft 6. As someone who is only 5 ft 3 myself you may assume I would be less discriminating/superficial but unfortunately not. On our third date I wore heeled boots (only 3 inches) and that killed the relationship dead in its tracks.

I’m 30 and not particularly fussed about being in a relationship though. I’ve tried unpacking what it is that I don’t like about short men and I am at a complete loss. Maybe it’s a masculinity thing?

Yes, it’s judgemental but men discriminate women based on appearance to an even worse degree imo. I’m considered conventionally beautiful. And over the course of Covid I gained 4 stone due to depression/inactivity (which I have now lost). The difference in treatment I received from men is shocking.

He is 5'4", it is fair to assume he will struggle to fine a woman. This thread shows the taboo about women having specific requirements.
The question is why would he want another relationship. If he is so selfless that he cannot imagine staying single, then find other things to give. Personally, I am selfish enough it was years before I considered another relationship. And if he is emotionally needy for the role, it is a big red flag in itself.

He does sound incel like.
He has a wife so someone at least was ok with him being short. Why suddenly think no one else will want him?
And what's wrong with being single for some time or for the rest of his life if thats how it goes?
No one is entitled to a partner.

69 is rubbish anyway - it's too distracting. Better to take turns.

My male partner is a couple of inches shorter than I am. When we first met online he mentioned his height and joked about it because it’s always been made an issue by other people. So I expected to meet him and find it an issue. It wasn’t. I very briefly noticed initially, but it was fleeting. He has a strong physical presence, and he’s very masculine, and well built. I don’t see why any woman who has any confidence would feel butch being by him.

I think on some dating sites, they have preferred height as one of the profile options (I don't want to wake up my dormant profiles by checking.)

Men don't all want young slim women with DD breasts. I'm in my 50s, size 18 with A-cups, so absolutely not young, slim, large bust. I've over 1700 likes on one site - you have to filter somehow. I have quite a narrow age range, and I'm keen on intelligence. I don't care much about height, nor dick length, nor whether they have their own hair, but I've connected with men who are tediously obsessed by those things, especially if they feel they're lacking. I've also had younger men who fetishize older women, despite my stated age preferences, and men lie about their age, too...

We filter IRL too - we may not think so, but by going to activity A rather than activity B, or the Rose & Crown rather than the Red Lion, or the next door town to the south rather than the north - that's all changing the possibilities of who we can meet, whether good or bad. We choose not to speak to the man at the bar who was being rude to the bar staff, or we get talking, and he fails to mention the one thing you'd really connect over, so you never realise. It's all a way of filtering people out, though. Doing it online is just some different criteria and looks more artificial. One way or another, whether in person or online, we're probably all missing people we'd get on well with. It's life. If someone people want to filter by height - that's up to them. It's not that important to many of the rest of us, but if they want to make it a thing for them, that's their choice.

I married a shorter man. His height wasn't our issue, there were various things that eventually made me leave.
I've since dated a shorter man, and he was wonderful, but had a few issues that eventually split us.
I'm actually 5'11½" in my bare feet, so a man over 6'3" is definitely my preference now, and I'm not going to change my mind, I've had my share of shorter guys.

I generally prefer men to be at least my height. But if I met the perfect man for me and he was shorter, I can't see it being a deal breaker. It would be silly to be so stuck on height that you miss out on a great guy. Initial attraction and something that develops when you get to know someone may be a bit different.

Online dating profiles are full of women who say that only want to date men over a certain height, it is a thing so there is no point pretending it isn’t.

I’ve never been attracted to a man who was close in height to me, they have always been at least 6 inches taller. There is nothing wrong with that though, in the same that some men aren’t attracted to fat women ( but some are).

And if women did date every last one, they'd be sluts and whores who haven't preserved themselves for the Right One (probably a 4'10" squinting spotty incel).

I get you. A lot of people here don't seem to believe it's a thing, and it shouldnt be, but it is. My fiancé is very slightly taller than me but when I first saw his profile online (we met on a dating site) I ignored him purely due to his height. I'm not sure why really. I do kinda think society instills us with this idea that the man is meant to be taller. Months later I saw his profile again and knew it was familiar but couldn't remember why I'd rejected him previously, so I looked again. Everything else about him was absolutely perfect, exactly what I was looking for. I couldn't believe I'd been so shallow as to reject him due to his height! So, needless to say I wised up and decided to give him a chance. 4+ years later I'm very glad I did because I'm very happy and we're getting married this summer.
I have since paid more attention and realise that while I only know a very small number of couples irl where the girl is taller, in many cases they're about the same height, so taller in heels. Also I've begun to notice celebrity couples where the girl is taller and she never looks like an elephant - rather she often looks Swan like and elegant beside him.
So I was prejudiced and I've learnt that height doesn't matter. I guess that goes for many physical characteristics too.

hmmmm click bait… it worked !!

I'm 5 3 and wouldn't want to date someone 6ft. My son's 6 ft 1 and I have to crane my neck to see him when next to him.

I always seem to go for an average height man. All my boyfriends/husband for as long as I can remember have been about 5 9/5 10. Which is about right for me. Taller men also tend to be a bit gangly ime.

I have literally never had a conversation with any women friends who have says they restrict dating based on height so not sure this is as big as a thing as you are suggesting.. Obviously people are attracted to who you are attracted to though and will generally have a "type". Thinking of my friend's partners and husband's they are all varying builds and heights so definitely not any obvious height based selection going on there.

Could this be something you are seeing either just in your friendship group, or maybe in younger people as I do think social media has made people a lot more conscious of appearance.

I like men to be taller than me as I kind of feel comforted and looked after... if that makes sense? I can't put it into words. Maybe it is some primal instinct thing...
I have gone out with men that were shorter, and most had the human version of 'small dog syndrome'.
My current guy is the same height as me.

I have zero awareness of this at all. I don’t have a height bias or phobia, my DH is miniature compared to me and at least 2 inches shorter. It’s all the same lying down 😂

Tall women maybe?!

🤣

I was nonplussed by your post.
Who are all these women that only desire men over 6'??!!
Personally I am short - 5'3" - and preferred to go out with men taller than me. Which was most of them.
Eventually I married a man who was around 5'11", it was the physical AND mental attraction that did the job.

I’ve dated both over 6ft and under 6ft in the past. I’m 5ft 4 OH is I think 5ft 6 or 7 and stocky. It is of no concern to me in the slightest. A handsome face and being good in bed is more important to me than height.

This is the same as saying "Men would benefit if they were open minded on women's body shape. If only they didn't all want DD+ boobs they could have all sorts of options".

Firstly, it's not true, they don't all want the same thing. And secondly, people are attracted to what they're attracted to. No one can (nor should they have to) force attraction just to find an "option". And it's not the way to do it. No point settling for something that won't make you happy just to be with anyone. Nothing is worth living with someone you don't want to be with.

I agree with this.

Generally speaking, tall men probably are considered more attractive, all other things being equal.

But few women are going to rule out an otherwise suitable man for not being 'tall enough.' Men who whine about being rejected for being too short probably have other issues which make them unattractive to women.

OK, but you certainly did sound exactly like one. In any case you now have plenty of contrary evidence not based on dating sites which, as pp have said, are not the only way people meet each other.
As a short person I feel taller men AND women have somewhat of a general life advantage, which again is borne out by (scientific, not online survey) studies, but it's neither automatic nor universal. I certainly see no evidence that women are all " fighting" over a small pool of well above average height men. Average height has increased over time anyway with improvement in nutrition.

I have hangups around many issues, with men I mean.
I don't like stupid men, I dont like thin men, I'm not keen on tattoos, I'm not keen on stutterers, I dont like loud men -; off the top of my head.

And some of those issues are hard lines. I will not budge no matter the man. I could want to fuck his brains out (and I would do just that) but as a long term, nope. I see no real need to examine that.

And still waiting to hear of the benefits of being open minded.
From a now 5'5 woman living a very long time with a 5'1" man.