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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Thinking that women would benefit if they were more open minded about height in a potential partner…

861 replies

Moonfishstar · 16/04/2024 13:08

… and not write off the majority of men who are under 6 foot (85%).

Women seem to be fighting for a small proportion of men - with the disappointment that will inevitably bring to the many who inevitably won’t succeed. Of course, it’s even crapper for the good,
but short, men out there.

Of course, we all fancy who we fancy, and I’m not saying we should date shorter (or even average!) men out of pity or a “sense of fairness”, but how much of women’s desire to bag a tall guy is actually societal, and down to how they think other women will view them?

OP posts:
Thread gallery
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MagpiePi · 16/04/2024 13:25

ComtesseDeSpair · 16/04/2024 13:15

Physical attraction isn’t fair or logical or an equal opportunities exercise. It’s also not something that anyone can force themselves to feel because “be kind.” Ultimately that means that sometimes people of both sexes will find themselves being rejected for being short, overweight, bald, having an odd face, having small boobs or any manner of other physical characteristics. Height has never been something that bothers me personally, I’ve had several partners the same height as or slightly shorter than me; but there are other characteristics I’m not attracted to, and that’s fine.

I agree with @ComtesseDeSpair .
Everyone is attracted to particular physical things and find other things a total turn off. Luckily we all have different likes and dislikes.

Why does it bother you that women have particular tastes, OP? Are you in fact a short man who thinks your height is what is stopping you getting a partner?

Panicmode1 · 16/04/2024 13:24

My DH is 6ft 6 and my children are all over 6ft (well, DD is 6ft, the boys are between 6ft 4 and 6ft 2). My DD is very conscious of her height and doesn't wear heels, but has found a boyfriend taller than her - not sure whether that was a conscious thing or not, but personally I do think it looks a bit odd when the woman is significantly taller.

I feel really short in my family and I'm 5ft 8!

( A friend at uni was adamant she was not going to marry someone shorter than her - he had to be over 6ft 2. She married someone about a foot shorter than her and considerably shorter than 6ft!)

Original poster
Moonfishstar · 16/04/2024 13:23

DerekFaker · 16/04/2024 13:14

I voted YABU because I don't believe that this is a widespread thing. Sounds like something incels like to moan about rather than reality.

It definitely seems to be a thing on dating apps for example. Maybe it’s those who use dating apps, or an age thing?

https://medium.com/@whitep/women-have-hilarious-height-requirements-for-men-according-to-bumble-992862ba7772#:~:text=Even%20extremely%20tall%20men%20seem,feet%20guys%20in%20their%20search.

Women Have Hilarious Height Requirements For Men According To Bumble

Tall men are sexy.

https://medium.com/@whitep/women-have-hilarious-height-requirements-for-men-according-to-bumble-992862ba7772#:~:text=Even%20extremely%20tall%20men%20seem,feet%20guys%20in%20their%20search.

OP posts:
CamoPenguin · 16/04/2024 13:22

I wouldn't have ruled someone out for height, but pushing 6ft myself, I wouldn't like a partner who was significantly shorter than me.

Kpo58 · 16/04/2024 13:22

I wish that tall men don't all go for women who look child height in comparison to them, but there we have it. 🤷‍♀️

kitsuneghost · 16/04/2024 13:22

I'm 5ft. You can keep your 6ft+ men
anything over 5.9 would just look silly

SocksAndTheCity · 16/04/2024 13:22

Yeah, textbook incel post without any context or examples. What say you, OP?

FeralNun · 16/04/2024 13:20

This simply isn’t a thing in RL, is it? Ok, many women would prefer someone taller than them, ideally, but who is ruling out all men under 6ft?

I have a preference for tall men myself, but one of the sexiest men I ever met was much shorter than me. He had zero problem attracting women.

I wonder whether OLD is kind of forcing these mild preferences into becoming absolutes, at least on paper..

MonsteraMama · 16/04/2024 13:20

Er, I have lots of male friends and relatives under 6' and they're all married or in relationships. Some of them with women who are -gasp- taller than them.

Maybe women just don't like dating dickheads, and all the short dickheads think it's because they're short, not because they're a dickhead. And thus nonsense like this gets spread around.

eyeslikebutterflies · 16/04/2024 13:19

What are you on about? Where's your evidence? Agree with the poster above who said it all sounds a bit incel-y.

OP, all the men in my family including my son, dad, husband, brother and brothers-in-law are under 6 foot. They all have partners, wives, girlfriends. No one I know gives two shits that they're not this weird mythical height you've invented as essential to attracting a woman. What a load of bollocks.

hothag · 16/04/2024 13:19

I am 5ft 3, DH is around 5ft 6, its worked for us, I dated 2 tall men when younger, they were arseholes, DH is the best man I have ever met, if I had been looking for a taller man I would have missed out on him😄

PuttingDownRoots · 16/04/2024 13:19

I prefer men (and women) a similar height to me. I have no desire to be craning my neck constantly.

However... you can't help who you are sexually attracted to. Its an animal instinct, not a conscious one.

BodyKeepingScore · 16/04/2024 13:19

I've never met anyone in real life who has height requisites for a male partner.

PTSDBarbiegirl · 16/04/2024 13:19

This sounds a bit angry & anti women because some don't choose short men. Bit odd.

KiwiOtter · 16/04/2024 13:19

YABU

I like having a tall DH. I am petite, and he can reach the top shelves in shops, so it’s pretty useful 😂

Yozzer87 · 16/04/2024 13:18

I wouldn't date shorter, but I'm about 5'2 so the man would have to be be around 5 foot and I wouldn't find that attractive.Typically, most of the men I've found attractive have been tall but I've also fancied and dated men around 5'8/9. I can understand women wanting men over 6 foot when they themselves are 6 foot or over.

IntermittentFarting · 16/04/2024 13:18

I've never met anyone who has such criteria.
A good man is a good man, yes, but people do have their preferences about all sorts of things, not just height. All of which they could 'relax' but why would they?

Men could be less fussy, too 🤷🏻‍♀️

Desecratedcoconut · 16/04/2024 13:18

What makes you think that women exclude short men from their dating pool because other women will view them poorly? What a patronizing assertion.

DoYouWantMeToBeTheCat · 16/04/2024 13:18

i do like someone that can teach the top shelf because I can’t Grin

Strugglingmumof3 · 16/04/2024 13:16

I date someone shorter than me and it doesn’t bother me. But honestly it is a thing. All over on line dating women put don’t swipe if under 6ft. It’s a thing. Personally I don’t mind at all but he is very aware of it as it’s been said to him so much

ajlots · 16/04/2024 13:16

I doubt I could be attracted to someone shorter than me, thankfully I am 5ft5 so it didn't decrease the pool much! DH is 5ft10 and I think that's plenty tall, never thought of him as short just because he's under 6ft 🤷‍♀️

aodirjjd · 16/04/2024 13:16

Begsthequestion · 16/04/2024 13:14

I've never actually met a woman who tries to adhere to this supposed 6ft barrier. Only seen American men complaining about this on Reddit.

I personally don't care about height and have dated taller and shorter people than me.

ditto. I often hear women say they prefer men taller or as tall as them but that’s it.

ArseInTheCoOpWindow · 16/04/2024 13:16

AllTheWatersTurnedToClouds · 16/04/2024 13:13

I just want one taller than me, and I’m nearly 6’ in heels 🤷‍♀️

small men make me feel butch, which I don’t like

This.

Im 5ft 8. So it really tall. I went out with someone who had a shorter leg length than me. It was horrible.

Cofaki · 16/04/2024 13:16

YANBU. I think so many women are ridiculous about the height of men. My friend is dating and recently rejected someone because he is 5' 10, saying he was short! I don't think that's short. And she isn't tall.

BiscuitDreams · 16/04/2024 13:16

DerekFaker · 16/04/2024 13:14

I voted YABU because I don't believe that this is a widespread thing. Sounds like something incels like to moan about rather than reality.

This is what I thought. I don't know anyone that specifically goes for tall men. I quite like shorter guys but ended up marrying a really tall guy. I didn't really notice the height at all when I met him. 🤷🏻‍♀️