Thinking that women would benefit if they were more open minded about height in a potential partner…

I'm female and 5ft 5. Pretty average height for a woman. DH is 6ft. I like his height. We met irl so I didn't have his stats when we met.

If I was single and dating men, I'd be open to shorter than 6ft although I wouldn't date someone shorter than me in small heels, but I don't think that's a huge ask given the average man in the UK is 5ft 9.

I went out with a bloke who was about the same height as me. It never even registered about his and my height, but when we went out one night and I wore heels, he was absolutely livid and said he felt emasculated!

So the problem is also men who don't like tall women.

I mean bloody hell, In Spiderman, the actress Zendaya who played M.J alongside Tom Holland is taller than Tom, but Hollywood made damned sure she wasn't the tallest on screen. Whether she had to be lower or he was placed on a step so they could be the same height, it is just bat shit.

Society says men should be taller than women.

I'm 5ft 7.5" and so a lot of men are my height, but the only people who have ever had a problem with that is other men.

Height has never been a consideration for me but I'm only 5'1 so it's not something that happens very often. I've only ever met one man shorter than me and even most women are taller than me too.

Still though, everyone has a criteria and if they are ruling out a large chunk of the dating pool because of it then that's their perogative.

If I were to date again I would look for someone reasonably intelligent. Someone who couldn't add 2 and 2 together just wouldn't do it for me long term. Likewise being able to hold down a job but not be a workaholic. I could be ruling out a lot of men but that's my criteria, same as women with height criteria.

This thread comes from a slightly different perspective to normal, OP should have done the normal one about fearing for her poor pygmy offspring and it would have gone more normally

I don't doubt it's a thing, but as PP have said, both sexes can be picky about potential partners for a number of reasons, some of them shallow. (And then some of them complain about not being able to find anyone and how there aren't any good men/women available.) I wouldn't say it's any worse to rule out a man because he's not tall than to rule out a woman because she doesn't have the desired proportions or a pretty face.

Moonfishstar · Today 13:37

Ffs, just because I posted this doesn’t mean I’m a short incel male! I’m not!
Taller men are more attractive in my opinion - I’m just trying to work out whether that’s just me, or society.

So ... if you yourself admit to finding ''taller men more attractive'' then what are you trying to work out exactly?

Ask yourself why you find taller men more attractive.

Presumably you will then have your answer as to why, on a website where people are asked if they have preferences, that is what they put.

I think it is a demographic thing as in dating on apps. I don’t know anybody who met their partner/husband/wife and friendship group all metropolitan old millennials, is it a Gen Z thing but not all Gen Z, perhaps people more interested in looks than intelligence and personality.

So people are shallow for having their preferences and what they’re attracted to? That’s ridiculous.

Indeed.

I haven't read such utter piffle on here in quite some time.

There is evidence that thin women get better jobs , tall men get promoted more etc etc it's all there

there is an instinctive brain element to chose ( for any reason ) the person who is healthiest looking - and height is from an animal perspective a good indicator of health and good diet . Similarly we chose people who have symmetric features - another instinctive good health indicator

Like Any other instinctive response such as to someone's sex or skin colour , we need to consciously chose to not let it influence out behaviour and assumptions but that is very hard

And in terms of who you feel attracted to, it will be difficult to shift because attraction is a lot about those base instincts

I agree, I think it's shallow in the same way some men prefer big breasted women etc. Possibly it is also seen as an indicator of other body part sizes, although that is a fallacy

AIBU Thinking that men would benefit if they were more open minded about prettiness/boob size/weight/height/age in a potential partner

I think everyone should be picky when choosing a partner.

I have read the thread. The links were either repeating the same single study about one dating app, or actually describing "taller" men as 5ft 9 and above.

So if you could please read the thread and then post some of the "tons of evidence" you mentioned, that'd be great to discuss.

If you got off the internet and walked around in society, you wouldn’t find most men under 6ft walking round single.

This bullshit is trotted out on those sad little podcasts full of mysoginists who extrapolate the behaviour of a portion of women to the entire population.

I see women being criticised for being too picky with men, but id say men are more picky than women.

Plenty of people already have. Read the thread.

I'm short, I have zero interest in tall men - I don't want to be craning my neck to look up at them!

This is a spoof article but there is some truth in it.

https://www.thedailymash.co.uk/news/society/tall-man-thinks-its-an-achievement-20190215182505

I've not seen this evidence. Can you link it?

This is a thing and there is absolutely tons of evidence for it. Don’t know why so many MNers are in denial.

I don't know any women at all who refuse to date someone under 6ft.

I think most of my friends would rather not date a man who was shorter than they are, but as none of my friends are single, clearly this restriction hasn't been a problem for them.

I'm 5'2", so pretty much all men are taller than I am and I never really even thought about height back in my dating years. DP is about 5'9" I think.

Not sure why you're hung up height rather than any other characteristic. Everyone has things they do/don't find attractive, whether it's height, weight, facial features, hair or whatever.

Very surprised at how many responses state this isn't a thing.... I would absolutely say it is!! And no snark meant - perhaps its reflective of a certain demographic (millennials?) using dating apps and just doesn't apply in the same way elsewhere.

I'm 5'10" tall (and partnered up to someone slightly taller than me) and I totally get wanting someone taller. But I am also surprised at the number of women who, like a friend, are 5'2", and wont as a real rule date anyone under 6'. It'd feel like me insisting on 6'8"+ ers!

If you borrow a hetero male friend's phone and scroll through a dating app you'll see many a request for 6'+ only.

I doubt most women go around carrying a tape measure to see or know simply by looking at a man if he is 6 ft tall when they themselves are average height. I can only recall one friend in my life that said she only dated really tall men but she herself was short and wore heels to be average height. The men she introduced me to when she dated them, were 5’9 and taller.

I think it is just a social norm made by men that has been passed down through the generations of how they themselves saw masculinity and attributed tallness as a masculine feature and put a number on it as a measure. The whole “tall, dark, and handsome” phrasing was coined by a male writer.

You mean, you don't want men to rearrange their preferences en masse so that you can fairly compete with taller women - and this isn't the reason why you are terminally online, complaining about how life isn't fair and pathologising the people who wont accommodate you in their dating pool? How completely reasonable...