Thinking that women would benefit if they were more open minded about height in a potential partner…

I'm four inches taller than my husband and some people are very weird about it. I'm very tall for a woman and he's shorter than average for a man, but he had no qualms about my height, so why should I his?

To be honest, yes, I do like to feel feminine and small, but it rarely happens anyway and being tall is not the main thing I'd look for in a partner. I'd be severely restricting my dating pool anyway.

I do feel bad about how some women (and sometimes men!) treat short men, though most shorter men end up finding someone anyway and it's not like it's only men over 6' who ever have sex or find relationships. Yes, some girls are cruel or misguided on dating apps, but at least you know who is shallow and to be avoided! Short men who have a chip on their shoulder and make anger about height their whole personality do themselves no favours though. It might be harder, but you have to put yourself out there. To be honest, it's pretty hot when a shorter man carries himself with confidence or can have a sense of humour about his height.

Interestingly, men taller and shorter than me who have shown interest in me have never had a problem about their/my height. It was only ever the men around my height who gave me a hard time, told me not to wear heels and felt 'emasculated' by my being tall.

So in terms of BU...a bit of both. Some truth in it, some of it a bit exaggerated.

I'll actually agree with you that most women want someone taller than them, and vice versa. But given that the average male height is taller than the average female height, no-ones exactly cutting anyone out of their dating pool are they?

I wonder if men are on forums lowering each other's expectations in this way.

Have you name changed or is this the first thread you have posted on?

Interestingly, I do have one friend who has ruled out men who are under 6ft, but she also requires them to be devastatingly handsome too! She’s only 5ft 1” so there is no way she needs a tall man, but she admits that for her physical beauty is every thing, whereas my non-negotiable is intelligence - I could never fancy a dumbo no matter how gorgeous he was! However, none of my other friends have height as a criterion - not even the one who is 5ft 10 !

There are stats and there are stats OP.

85% of men are not single. Which indicates that stats based on attitudinal research indicating that ‘women
are only interested in (very) tall men’ may not actually translate to behaviour.

The huge natural experiment of
life clearly shows that men of any height can and do find female partners. There may be other variables that explain any statistical patterns favouring taller men.

It easily does get quite incel-y when people start oversimplifying and complaining that women are all just meanies for ignoring the short guys.

In my anecdotal experience, the short men who don’t have a weird chip on their shoulder about height tend to be more successful in finding and maintaining relationships than the ones who are weird and bitter about it. But, I don’t actually think things would be better for the men I know in the latter category - looking at you in particular, STBXH! - if they were 6’2 rather than 5’5. I think these particular men would just find a different avenue for projecting their own feelings of inadequacy on to everyone else. The problem is generally personality rather than height.

Hahaha, I can assure you that isn't the case! 😆

I also have some very petite friends (and yes some of them had some very tall partners!), and tbh standing next to my friends is worse for my self-esteem than having a shorter male partner. Especially when I was an overweight teenager and they were very slim. But I'm not gonna ditch my friends because they're 5'2 and making ME insecure! So I wouldn't miss out on a great guy I find attractive because he's shorter than me either. I find it's actually often the petite women who have these height rules set in stone.

Given that the majority of men are under 6 ft, and that the majority of men are not single, I'm going to suggest you're talking bollocks @Moonfishstar .

My 5ft9 arse has never struggled to find a girlfriend at least.

I prefer men who are taller than me but I'm 5'7" so that doesn't have to be 6". Once had a boyfriend who was the same height as me and he had a huge complex about being short and didn't like me wearing heels. It was very unattractive and ever since I have only looked at taller men.

Are you sure you are not really two very short men stacked inside a coat? Because women are over-picky about that!

My dad is 5’7 and my mum is 5’8 so height never bothered them. I’m 5’2 and DH is 5’10 but I have dated guys between 5’3 and 6’4. Height didn’t bother me either it was just who I clicked with.

I agree with the premise, but I don't find short men attractive. It would be very handy if I did, but I can't make myself.

I don't expect them to be over six foot, but I can't do under five ten. Something about being able to look them straight in the eyes when standing or feeling my feet next to theirs in bed gives me the ick.

I'm not even particularly looks driven, in this regard. I'd much rather date an 'ugly' tall man than a very attractive short man.

Tinder is not real life basically.

I do think women are more likely to boast about having tall children but I reckon that (maybe on a subconscious level) is to do with demonstrating that you did a good job nourishing them etc. I had friends from other countries who were openly proud about their children putting on weight and eating loads but that (for good reason) isn't socially acceptable here except for chubby babies. My son is average height but when people say "ooh he's tall for his age" or "he'll be taller than his father" I feel oddly chuffed like I have succeed in raising a healthy child. Which is irrational.

Thinking that men would benefit if they were more open minded about age, weight and number of previous sexual partners in a potential partner…

Why most men regardless of age want: early 20s, slim, petite, cute, long hair, perky boobs, childless, loves cooking and cleaning, submissive, without career but with own money, virgin, intersted in anal and blowjobs on unwashed dick, sex slave maid with dedication of nicu nurse?

My daughter is like this and won't date anyone under 6 foot.

I tell her it's not all about looks or sex appeal but she just looks at me pityingly

Well, I'm a reasonably attractive 6' 1" bloke and I haven't been on a date for going on two years so I'm not sure height in itself is a reliable barometer.

What if your current boyfriend was 5ft 1" though @SapphireSeptember ?

My ex husband is 6 foot 7, my current boyfriend is a few inches taller than me (I'm five foot 3.) Hight doesn't matter to me.

Still yappy little buggers though!

I do feel it's shallow to rule out everyone under a certain height. I'm 5 foot 8 and I like short guys just as much as tall guys (if not more) and if a man doesn't have a problem with my size 7 (ok 8) feet it's all good. If women really are ruling out short men in vast numbers that just leaves more for me (should I ever venture to try OLD!) but it is a bit shallow, and if you're under 5'5 yourself a bit ridiculous as well. I can imagine the outrage if majority of men decided overnight not to date short women!

Even my mum and grandmother told me they weren't interested in short men, or I'd always hear "he'd be alright if he wasn't so short"-which makes no sense to me, you obviously find him attractive but because you found out he's short you don't? Make it make sense!

You do have a point OP, if most women are looking for 6 foot and over a lot will be out of luck.

I've never wanted a tall man. I'm 5 ft 3 and weigh 9 stone. I don't want people that can overpower me too easily. That said last week I met up with a friend who is 6 ft 2 and haven't seen for a few months. I've had a really difficult few months and when I cuddled him it was like going into a cocoon. It was the best hug of my life.

😆

My great grandma (born 1890,) lived to 97. She was 5 ft 0! A little pocket rocket who didn't take any shit. Even when she was in her 90s!