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Original poster

To think parents of only children are selfish

206 replies

Zara7 · 16/04/2024 12:29

I've just had a very interesting discussion with a 24 year old only child which sadly ended in tears. She said, she's upset her parents didn't have any more children because she grew up feeling very lonely. She's also very upset that she'll never be an aunt and her kids will not have first cousins.

I have not considered any of this and the conversation has really got me thinking as I am a parent to an only child (6 yo DD). I would've loved to have had another child but divorce happened and ex was/is a shit dad. Although, I'm 30 and have time to meet someone and start a family, but I really love my new-found independence now that DD is older, financial freedom and job. I don't want to have give up any of it up.

I feel selfish and inconsiderate of DD's future and feelings.

OP posts:
CeraveFoam · 16/04/2024 12:32

I think that’s a very unusual response from the person you spoke to and suspect there may be other issues at play.

There are pros and cons to being an only child, just as there are by pros and cons to having siblings, and very little way of knowing how the choice will affect the child you have. I don’t think either choice is selfish at all- you just do your best in the light of your circumstances and preferences at the time.

Alchemistress · 16/04/2024 12:32

I know plenty of siblings who barely talk to each other. Also with a six year gap and counting, were you to have another child, the reality of them being the sort of siblings who play together is slim.

countrygirl99 · 16/04/2024 12:32

I'll lend her one of my brothers. She'll end up delighted she's an only.

Namerchanger1 · 16/04/2024 12:31

Why do you (or any only children) think they’d be happier with siblings? So many siblings I know grow up fighting, arguing and aren’t close as adults at all

Alchemistress · 16/04/2024 12:30

Well I'm an only child and I never felt that way and still don't. So horses for courses.

FiveGoMadInDorset · 16/04/2024 12:30

Even if she had a sibling she may not be an aunt or her children have cousins