To think parents of only children are selfish

Not all parents have the choice of multiple children.
Tbh don't be a victim of things you can't change and maybe even wasn't your parents' choice.

I don’t think it’s selfish at all, you have to do what’s right in your situation.

I’m an only child and am very introverted, so I’d just say make sure your child gets put into new situations and is given the confidence to talk to lots of different people, as this is something I lack.

I worry about being lonely in older age but I’m working on making more social connections. I still don’t think it would have been right for my parents to have had another child as we were quite a dysfunctional family.

She's talking a load of guff.

I say this as an only, who married an only. Who's kids genuinely have no first cousins or aunts/uncles.

Are people crying because their siblings chose not to have kids & they'll never be an aunty?

Will she be crying if her parents give her a wodge of cash for her house deposit because they've had less expenses.overher lifetime?
Or crying because they have one set of grandchildren to babysit?

Has she considered not all families get on & her fantasy sibling could have been a living nightmare?

Life rolls the dice, you get what you get & if you're crying over not being an auntie (even though you could be to a partner's family or an auntie-figure your own friends kids) you've not done too badly.

My only real 'only' concern is for my parents & ILS in old age & how we potentially provide care for them all, but I read all the time how one sibling takes the brunt so it's no different - at least there's nobody to resent.

I have 3 half siblings (two older brothers, one younger) and had the best of both worlds ... got to see them on the weekends during contact with my DF. Honestly I dunno why my DF had so many kids to different women. Two oldest are a nightmare. Younger one is sweet but none of us are close. None of our kids are close but that might be because we all have different mums?
I have two kids with a 5 year age gap (wasn't an intentional age gap) and it was hard.

I see plenty of people with one child constantly harassed for ONLY having one child and I think with the state of the economy it's a sensible reason to stick with one. Circumstances always change, what you can afford now you can't always afford in the future. Babies may not cost the earth but teenagers do😬

I had an older brother. I’m not an aunt. He bullied me relentlessly as a small child.

Most of my friends have siblings. A significant minority get on well and regularly do things together. The majority have a friendly distant relationship along the births, christenings, marriages and Christmas lines. They wouldn’t pick their siblings as friends and are closer to their friends but do care about their siblings. A small minority loathe their siblings.

The grass is always greener on the other side of the fence. I think a lot of parents of only children are conscious about the possible pitfalls and are very active in promoting friendships and facilitating company for their children. It’s the case for my two friends with only children (not through choice).

I didn't intend for DD to be an only child, but can now see the advantages of our situation.

I have siblings who have children, but as they live on the other side of the world, I've not had much of a chance to be an aunty or for DD to spend time with cousins... so having siblings doesn't guarantee those things.

The decision to have an only was taken out of my hands and yes I probably would have had another but couldn't. Am I selfish??? I don't think so as it was not intended.

Her kids can still have cousins and she can still be an aunt! Her partner may have siblings!!
My kids have 12 first cousins and only 5 of them are on my side. I've been around for the birth of six of the seven kids on my husband's side and they are my neices and nephews as much as my own side.
She will also have friends kids to love and look after. Very few people object to their kids being giving genuine love by another adult.
Yes, you could have another but tbh it's going to be a big age gap and they're not going to be into the same things. I have a 4.5 year age gap between my two and I do struggle with days out and things as they're not into the same stuff.
And is there a possibility that her dad may have another?
Honestly though, I really wouldn't worry too much. It's not the be-all and end-all

This young adult you spoke to needs to get her head out her arse a bit. It’s all very woe is me.

I sympathise, as I felt that was myself as an only child (especially in a large extended family). But my dad was in an industrial accident when I was a baby and it wouldn’t have been practical or financially wise for my parents to have another. I imagine many other are similarly not-by-choice.
Conversely, I intentionally had more than one because of how I felt about being an only, and whilst they were never at each other’s throats, they aren’t close either - very different personalities/interests. So just do what’s right for you.

Have you read the huge number of threads on here that are about siblings who fucking hate each other?

Having a second child to be the first one's friend is a bloody daft reason to have a second child

No one should have children they don't want, for any reason.

It always shocks me that criticism of parents who are "one and done" isn't seen as a women's rights issue- who is going to be bearing and birthing this unwanted second child which so many people think we should have? Not a man, that's for sure.

I have to say your OP title got my blood boiling and it's a bit of a click bait - wish you titled it differently...

If that person had siblings, she might have cried to you for having had an absent parent, sick grandparent, difficult job... We all have our challenges in life and as a parent, as much as we would like to, we cannot create perfect circumstances throughout our child's life.

Ds is only child as is his wife
Both have cousins though.
They have both stated they have really benefited from all the attention and close relationships with their parents .Financially huge benefit as have already had inheritance to support life events and house buying.
My big regret is that he was an only child due to fertility issues and traumatic birth issues . I felt much better after that conversation with him .

My single child 41 year old son has always been very happy with the situation.

I have a brother she can have? He hasn't spoken to me for over 5 years

Family relationships are not necessarily more important than friends and others.
Some only children have lots of friends, some only a few close friends.
But they will be able to entertain themselves, be resilient and resourceful, and importantly, won't be on aibu asking if it's ok to go nc with a sibling.
So, silver linings in each scenario

That girl quite obviously has MH problems and blaming it on her parents.

The vast majority of only children I know are incredibly charming, witty and all rounded people with a huge social circle. Not having siblings has absolutely no relation to how lonely you should be. Making friends and having a social life isn't something your parents, or siblings, owe you. Imagine being the sibling of someone so clingy that they expect you to keep them away from loneliness!

I don’t think they are selfish to only have one child.

But I do think it’s nice for children, in most cases, to have siblings to grow up with as they can form very unique and close relationships. I know that not all siblings get on and hated each other from Day Dot, but I think that is a small minority.

Absolutely bloody not selfish! I hated my brother growing up and wished i was an only. We're ok now but live over an hour apart and our kids almost never see each other.
My husbands brother and cousins have kids and again we might see them 4 or 5 times a year.
My daughter is an inly an is very happy being so, she has no desire for a sibling and is certainly not lonely, has tonnes of friends and we make sure she has plenty of playdates.
Having a sibling does not guarantee they will have any kind of relationship or see any cousins they may end up with.
I take offence to being called selfish!

I have a sibling that I’m not friends with, have never socialised with, has no children and that I see approx 4 times a year.

I doubt any only children are longing for that. It’s easy to romanticise what you don’t have.

My daughter never had any concerns about being an only child and she often said thst she was glad she didn't have brothers or sisters. We made a conscious decision to only have one child because we couldn't afford a second one. It was a real struggle to afford for me to be a stay at home mum for several years when our daughter was very young and we went without holidays, cars, new clothes etc, and it would have been hard to have afforded me not working for another long period.

Yes to this. I have lots of siblings and we do not see each other hardly at all. I have two cousins who are only children. For one cousin, my aunt and uncle could not have more (aunt had emergency hysterectomy straight after child birth). I honestly think it isn't selfish to have one child. Each to their own. Both cousins have loads of friends and are lovely people.

I'm an only child. I have alot of cousins and other close family. I'd have been very very lonely without them all.

I have six siblings and I sometimes wish I was an only.

My daughter is an only child and is a happy, healthy and well adjusted human being who does not resent me for not "giving her a sibling". So no I was not selfish to stop at one.