To not use credit card DP has issued in my name

I mean, it's possible to budget everything carefully AND use credit cards. I just use mine like a debit card, I don't spend more on it.

My husband and I have always done this and love the free flights! I think it’s much safer to use credit rather than debit cards to pay for things (scammers can’t get your actually money with a CC) and doesn’t get you into trouble if you pay the balance off every month.

What is normal appears to be slamming everything on credit cards and feeling ok because you always pay the balance - but you are also almost certainly spending more than you would if you used debit cards or cash

Speak for yourself. To me, the decision to buy something is completely separate to how I pay for it. Because I'm still paying for it whether the money comes out of my account today, or in a month's time when the credit card bill is paid.

It’s a bit irrelevant though because OP then says about using it for stuff that would normally be spent from the joint account anyway, so if he was that bothered about seeing her spending he could just as easily view it in the joint account. The only difference with the Amex is that they’ll actually be getting something back for the money spent?

It doesn’t cost any extra, the card & resulting debt is in his name, he’s going to be the one doing the admin for paying it off each money, and they’ll get benefits back from using it. Under those circs I don’t really see the issue with simply paying with a different card

as I have very little spare cash (whereas he has tonnes)

Why is this?

Plus you also borrow it at 0% and put it in a savings account paying 5%. £12k like that is £600 interest earned per year.

Plus about £300 pa in cashback just due to paying for groceries, fuel, work expenses and other normal spending like clothes, holidays, meals out etc on credit card that's then paid off in full every month.

What is normal appears to be slamming everything on credit cards and feeling ok because you always pay the balance - but you are also almost certainly spending more than you would if you used debit cards or cash.

There is also the moral argument that the majority of credit card profits that enable the providers to give cashback etc come not from the retailer fees but from the interest that poorer people end up paying when they get into a mess with credit cards.

I have one cc which I use on holiday if I can’t use my debit card without transaction fees, but if I can find a debit card that does that then I’ll switch to that.

I’ve weaned myself off normal home spending using credit and am spending less. If my DH told me he expected me to use one he would get an earful.

I’ve learned a lot from Dave Ramsey. Nobody builds wealth collecting air miles or cash back. You do it by budgeting carefully and not being tempted to buy what you don’t really need. Since I’ve sorted myself out I’ve saved loads more than I used to get on cc cash back schemes.

Nope. In fact OP could run up a load of debt is his name on the additional card and it would be all his debt, nothing to do with her.

Oh, so it's a lot bigger than this.

You could get a card to use for your business spending and get cashback on that. I don't know why you wouldn't.

However, when you have a child together, you absolutely shouldn't be in a position where you have no money to spend on you while he has loads.

Let me guess, you're SE 'to fit round DC, childcare, domestic stuff' while he's free to work when he wants? Plus what does your pension look like compared to his?

That's what you need to tackle with him, not the credit card issue.

Because you pay for everything a month later so it sits in your savings earning for you.

my personal spending is minimal as I have very little spare cash (whereas he has tonnes)

That doesn't seem fair.

That's not applicable for an additional card holder. It is not the same as a joint account so no financial linking.

Ah edit because I spotted you’ve now said its actually in his name, I don’t see an issue really then. If it's an additional card to his own, while he may be liable for the debt, he'll also be able to see all her spending. It's not at all in keeping with the idea of separate accounts. No wonder OP isn't comfortable with this.

The way he went around it is unacceptable too. When he had this idea, he should have suggested it to OP and then they could have discussed it. Instead he presented her with the card and expected her to change her way of paying to the card. All on his wishes and expectations.

We use credit cards for day to day spending and I know quite a few people who use Amex purely for the Avios points. It can definitely be worth it.

If he is trustworthy and good with money then I wouldn’t see a problem. Although obviously it might have been better if he discussed it with you rather than just presenting you with the card.

I don't see the issue unless he has a tendency to question your spending when it's none of his business. In that case, using his AMEX would give him visibility of your purchases and could be used against you if he has tendencies towards controlling behaviour. Otherwise it's no big deal but if you really don't want to then he should accept that in good grace and leave it be.

Does this mean that his debts are now your debts? (Because you are now linked to his cards?) I would get my name removed assp.

Oh wow I just buy everything on my partners Amex and transfer him to money as we get lots of avios from doing so. Hence pays for costs of flights we take. No idea why you wouldn't tbh. Where's the risk to yourself?

Oh and we don't live together and my ex husband was bankrupt

How do you make money on interest from a credit card?

This.

Do you have a history of you or someone close to you having issues with debt? This is a really normal thing to do so this reaction feels super extreme.