To never contribute £ to a person leaving work collection ever again?

If you realise you've made a mistake in leaving, it would be even more of a mistake to let a leaving do and gift stop you returning, if it's an option, when this is your career at stake.

It is an awkward situation - not so much the 'do' as everyone who went will presumably have enjoyed the social event - but the gift. I think I would go along the lines of saying to everyone that I won't expect any gifts in future, unless it was money or money-equivalent that I could donate to charity as a pp mentioned someone had done in those circumstances.

OH works with a guy who got a collection, party and cake. Mid way through the celebration he pipes up thanks but ive changed my mind and withdrawn my resignation!

This happened in a company I worked at years ago. The man had a small gift & a large cheque from our contributions (over £100 & this was early '80s). He didn't like his new company & returned within a couple of months. An announcement was made that he had donated the money to a local charity. I don't know if that was his idea or at the suggestion of the management.

The member of staff it concerns must have some brass neck to walk back in after a leaving do and gift. I just couldn’t go back.

It wouldn’t bother me. It’s a one off, it’s not like it happens every time.

Id only give £10 for a colleague who was also a good friend. The usual amount to give at my workplace is £2-3, £5 if you’re feeling generous!

Yabu if your reasoning is that they may come back and work there again, that’s pretty rare.
However I have stopped contributing to wedding gifts/leaving gifts etc when the person is a v high earner (eg 6 figures, double/triple what I earn as I’m part time), it’s just too galling!

What annoyed me was when I had 7 weeks off sick to have gallbladder surgery, I didn’t get a collection.

Yet two colleagues who had the same surgery 9-12 months before me had one each.

The same goes for some colleagues had collections when a parent died and some didn’t.

If there’s another colleague who has time off for gallbladder surgery- I won’t put into their collection and I will explain why. If it’s one of my closest colleagues- I will give something directly from me.

I only contribute to people in my very close team. Everyone else can jog on. Just as they can jog past me without recrimination.

I stopped contributing years ago when I realised it's just one nasty popularity contest.

I transferred from my workplace to another branch after working there about five years, and my colleagues were lovely and got me a leaving gift, but after trouble with my new dept head, who wouldn't let me have time off for a trip that I'd already booked, my previous dept head, suggested that I quit at the other branch and come back to my old job, and jokingly offered me F1 tickets if I came back. I took up his suggestion and came back to that dept. One of my colleagues said to me in a jokey tone, that as I'd already had a leaving present from that workplace, not to expect another one from them the next time. I knew she was right, felt a little embarrassed but didn't expect to get another leaving present from them anyway. Was just happy to be back in my familiar job with my colleagues who all treated each other like family. I realised that this workplace where we all got on well with each other, was more important than moving to the branch that was closer to my home, and appreciated my colleagues and my boss for welcoming me back.
xxx

YANBU. I wouldn't donate to a collection as think a card will suffice! COL and all that....

I didn't even get a card when going on maternity leave even though I used to make sure others had a nice card signed by the team.

I assume you said “sure I’ll sponsor you, but I’ll donate directly to the charity to make sure they get it all” instead then?

I don't know why leaving things have to be so big. A card and a box of chocolates is fine.

Slightly off topic but reminded by people talking about being asked to put in for people they barely knew.

I once worked somewhere where cards/collections seemed to be going round all the time. One woman had a collection/card going round for her 40th.

When she came to open the card, she discovered she had signed her own birthday card and presumably put into the associated collection! 😃

Years ago, I worked for a firm where a director was leaving and his PA was being made redundant. Cue a scurry around to get together a decent collection to get her a lovely gift, lots of sympathy for her finding herself out of work through no fault of her own, dark mutterings of how unfair it all was and who might be next etc.

Turned out she was actually going with that director to a new company and she had basically milked the situation for everything she could. It certainly left a nasty taste about leaving presents and farewell drinks.

Seventeen leaving collections at the end of one school year at a large comprehensive school I worked at. That was fun!

This happened at my work, it was fine she just didn't get another leaving present when she left again. No biggie.

The worst are the ‘will you sponsor me’ brigade. Sure we’ll all sponsor you (pay for you) to jump out of an airplane and give the remaining fiver of the sponsorship (after the airplane has been paid for) to a charity.
No problem with people who pay for the excursion themselves but using the sponsorship money to pay for it is CF’ery.

I had a job that was a contract, just till I was due to get married. I knew they wouldn’t allow a month off so just stayed for my contract. When I left they did a collection. I was only there 9ish months so it wasn’t massive due to not being well known 🙈 I didn’t mind I didn’t expect anything tbh. I went off and got married then met my friends from old team for dinner a few weeks after, then was asked by manager if another team in same dept to come work for her. I wasn’t planning on going back to work at all really. Plan was to have a baby soon after getting married. I took the job and said ok till I have baby (took 2 years!). Anyway when I started back, a guy asked for his pound back, in a jokey sarcastic was and in front of other people who laughed. I said yeah ok and gave it to him. 😂

Unless I'm really close to someone I never contribute anymore. I sometimes just get my own gift for them.

Years ago it was constant. One couple got an engagement collection, a moving in collection, a wedding collection and a first baby collection. Then there would be flowers for sickness or bereavement. When I was off sick I got nothing. For my bereavement my friend had to bully HR to get me flowers. And as I didn't get engaged etc I didn't get anything.

Just stop contributing.

Wonder if it's office culture but £10 would be average where I work.

I couldn't get worked up about a colleague coming back...unless they were terrible at their job!

I think it's a one off and I wouldn't be bothered about this.

And this is why when I leave somewhere I ask for a no fuss exit and avoid all this. If people want to have a farewell lunch with me somewhere I usually up for that.