To think a family member is being awful, although we’re living under their roof?

This 100 per cent. Its not OK, but its not going to get any better. It sounds as though you are doing everything you can to contribute with cooking etc... and its no fun to have a young baby with someone constantly dripping comments into your ear about how you are not doing things right. Treatment like this can make you absolutely distraught.

Move out and a rent a small place as soon as you can.

She is being both horrible (in her comments) and kind in letting you stay (presumably free or low rent) BUT it is not worth it for your mental health. If you have savings, use some of them, life is too short.

Move out. It’s clearly not working for anyone. She doesn’t sound very nice, but the stress of hosting a family with a young baby is clearly more than she anticipated. You don’t need her permission to move out. Find another relative to host you till September or stump up for temporary accommodation.

not everyone has the luxury to fall back on family members when they need to. Some people have to make it work for themselves and can’t run back to mummy and daddy in an emergency. “Very often” is your personal experience and a very privileged one.

yes grandma was mean, but clearly she is stressed out and not coping well. And maybe she is just mean. Time for Op to look after her mental health and move out.

You sound really respectful op. My two grandsons live with me and have done since they were babies. Now the partner of one lives here most of the week as well. I do like her but tbh I do get a bit fed up and would like the house to myself. Typical teenagers though, their idea of tidying up and mine are somewhat different and I do occasionally get pretty cross.

But I would never in a million years make personal comments to any of them. It really is unnecessary and unkind but it sounds as though you knew she had no filter. You are now facing the reality of what no filter really means on a day to day basis.

Its not good for you to be tiptoeing around like this and I think it is time to move on. For me, I am encouraging eldest gs to get saving so he can have his own place.

I think that when you live with someone, you really see what they are like. And this woman is mean and cutting.

This is unfair.

Poor woman is stressed - ok - but she’s being a really nasty bitch asking OP’s partner if he thinks op looks fat. She knows she’s being a bitch and she can get away with it as it’s her house.

it’s all very well saying take some responsibility - but people very often do move in with family members when there are gaps. We lived with PILs when we were waiting for our first house purchase to go through. We also lived with my mum when we’d sold one and there was a gap between completing the next. My db and his dw also lived
with mum for a (different) few months for the same reason.

I would try to get out asap op

Yes, this. She probably didn't realise how stressful it would be when she offered.

Perhaps it's not about owing anything. If the grandmother offered, and the OP accepted the offer to share a hone temporarily, i would assume there was/is live and affection between them that will make the OP want to continue the close relationship they when this stress is over.

Try and change how you react to her nasty comments. Instead of getting upset and telling her she's hurting you, raise an eyebrow and say a calm "Bit rude!"
Act like it's not affecting you. You know what she's saying isn't true, so don't give her the reward of a reaction.
If you can pull this off you might be able to put with staying there until you return to work and have more options.

As well as your comment being out of order, please please educate yourself on how to use the word ‘literally’.

Please move out now. Poor woman is stressed too. You said you have savings, renr a bedsit until September and then find something bigger when you are both back in work. Take some responsibility for your baby and family and stop relying on family members to house you!

Stop being such an arsehole, if you have nothing useful to add then bugger off

Would you say the things that the OP's grandmother is saying to her though, no matter how difficult you might find it??

@PeachyGreen95 - your grandmother made this offer to you but unfortunately, unless you absolutely lose your temper at her, she will repeat, repeat, repeat her comments and behaviour.
The very next comment she makes about either you, the baby or your partner, call her out on it. Just because she is older doesn't mean that you have to put up with her mean and hurtful comments.
Say to her "Granny - you offered to open your home to us for, and I quote "as long as we needed". We really genuinely appreciate your kindness of giving us a place to stay. That said, since Baby was born, you've made countless comments, I've let way too many of them slide by but this is the absolute limit. If you don't want us here, tell us. We're not mind readers. I make a hot meal every evening for all of us, I'm doing my best to keep baby quiet but as they are a baby they don't understand, we're doing our best to prevent baby from crying but that isn't normal. Your comments are hurtful and mean. I won't have any body shaming comments or comments about how we're feeding baby. They stop right now. I don't want this to ruin a lovely relationship that I have with you and that I want you to have with your great grandchild. But we cannot take any more of these mean and unnecessary comments. What do you want us to do?"

Put the ball in her court and if she says she wants you to stay, then call her out every time she makes a mean comment. If she says she thinks it is time for you to leave, then you must make efforts to move out, to somewhere.

Seriously, I would move, I was in the same position 10 years ago (not my choice but ex husbands) we were living with MIL.

It was the worst experience of my life and I still have flash backs of her banging on our bedroom door and shouting.

This is not a good situation for your mental health or your baby, move out, you cannot put a price on your happiness.

Yes I agree with you. She is being awful, no doubt. I don’t understand how family can treat you like this. It’s a situation that I would embrace (and was ready to do so at one point). It’s not fair to your baby to be living in a stressful environment where there is screaming going on. I hope you get sorted but it sucks to be honest.

That sounds awful. Is there anywhere else you can stay before you and your partner are set up with your own place? Having a baby is hard! You don't need judgement and criticism. You need to feel safe in a space where you can rest when you need and be a mum to your baby in your own way.

Whichever overcrowded living situation you settle for, it will be a lot easier in the summer when you can spend more time outdoors

i think the only thing you can do to stop the digs at you is just moving out.

She was generous and is trying to keep her word by saying no when you unfairly put the onus on her by asking her if she wants you to leave, when the right thing would be for you both, as adults, to return that generosity by moving out now that is clear you are overstaying your welcome.

She was generous but it is clear things are no longer working out. She tried, you tried, didn’t work, just move out.

Not everyone over a certain age gets dementia or suffers with their age.so ageist on mn.

I stayed at my nans once as a pit stop. It lasted a few days before it was unbearable. She had offered a few months originally.
i think they like us staying overnight but the thought of me living with her was too much. I found somewhere to rent pretty sharpish as she made it so awkward. It was only me but she was watching my every move and criticising everything, I imagine being older they like their own ways

Why is the only other option to move in with yet another relative?
why did you decide to have a baby if you can’t even keep a roof over your head?
time to grow up I think

It’s hard to imagine in advance how difficult it can feel when your home is shared with others if you aren’t used to it. I’ve known this situation with young families moving back in with parents and it is a great strain. Worst, I think, for the hosts. Just make plans to move elsewhere and be very gracious to your grandmother.

I think you need to go.
This is such a precious time and when you look back I wonder if all you'll think about is this tension and stress?
Your baby will pick up on this too.
You deserve to be happy, I appreciate its hard. This year will go so fast. Treasure it be happy elsewhere x

Why ask her if she wants you to move out? That's a tough question for her to answer. Because she may feel guilty for feeling overwhelmed.
If this living situation is making you stressed, then take action. Tell her that you're v grateful for all she's done and now you're going to spend a few months with DP family. That's it.
If you have options exercise them!