To feel DH is too 'rough and tumble' with one year old

All the kids in my family were handled this way and everyone turned out just fine. Minor accidents happen whether someone is "playing rough" or not. Babies are surprisingly robust and sensory stimulation is very important for development. You are definitely being overly anxious. They both enjoy themselves, leave them to it.

In what way wasn’t she developmentally ready for the “broomstick”? Maybe I’m misunderstanding what that is, but a baby on her tummy on a forearm sounds fine from birth.

He is trusting his instincts though, unless you think he's deliberately trying to hurt his child. His instincts are as valuable as yours. Your child clearly agreed with him!

Ah OP. I remember wondering if DH was being too rough, too. I decided to trust DS - if he was laughing, he was having fun. He’d soon let DH know if he didn’t like it.

Toddlers get serotonin from cuddles with mum, and physical play with Dad, according to a load of parenting apps. You’ll be glad they have that sooner rather than later! And it sounds like he’s doing a lot of the typical “Dad” stuff; we did all the broomstick stuff too. It’s a different relationship to yours with your baby, but she’ll love it all the same. He’s parenting how he knows.

The only one I’d be cautious about is 2, because that sounds unpleasant for baby - although I’m sure she’d also let you know if she was very bothered!

"moms stroke, dad's poke" is the phrase here where I live. If she is laughing she's fine. One is a more robust age than you might think. The airplane on the forearm is just lovely, what a cutie she must be.

Rough and tumble play is a massively underestimated part of parenting so you are lucky to have him. All those brain connections between what is too much and too little are being made, if it's too much for you to watch take yourself off for 10 mins and have a cup of tea, on the tiny handfuls of occasions over 10+ years it was too much my kids were able to say, husband responded well and lovingly, looking back it was the early establishment of boundaries and trust. Put it this way, there is more of a risk NOT having any rough and tumble play than having none at all. Honestly I do understand your concerns it made my teeth on edge too, but in hindsight it was the best thing for physical development.

But why do her instincts trump that of the father? Shouldn't they come to a decision between them?

I would trust your instinct. If you feel it’s rough it probably is. There’s no harm in being a little more gentle, after all it is a baby. Being too rough can hurt your baby and if it is shaken the obviously there are major impacts. I would tell your DH to chill a bit

I’m a grandmother. 3 grandchildren only have their mother. From about 6 months until they get too heavy, I roughouse play. Tipping them upside down and swinging them. Dragging them across the floor on a towel, pretending to race. Etc etc. This type of play (generally more males play like this) has been shown to have great benefits for development of physical, emotional and feelings of security. If Bub is not upset or crying, she’s fine. He won’t parent like you and that’s fine. He seems to be a loving and engaged dad.

It's fine OP. Sounds like they are both enjoying it, which is lovely.

None of what you have described is "play fighting"

I've done all of what you've described with various kids. It's fine. Especially if said kid is enjoying it.

Is the Shaken baby syndrome you’re worried about? If so there’s a video online done with a medical doll designed to show the damage from shaken baby and the force you need to achieve it. That may (or may not) put your mind at rest. Although at 1 years old I very much doubt DH is shaking them hard enough to do any damage.

@wowihaveagardennow - I am not going to comment about everything but just to say when DS was up to one y.o. DH would hold him on his forearm and "fly" him. He had a good hold on him. DH is strong and I was always there and DS loved it and chuckled . So that one thing I think done well , I wouldn't have worried. We used to call it Superflyng. But Dh did have his other hand an inch away from DS and we were both there.
Upside down after a bottle of milk I may be too far away from that in time to know whether that might be a throwing up experience 😊

Later on when a toddler I used say when DH put DS on his shoulders say "be careful" but obviously DH had a firm grip on DS"s legs so he wasn't falling anywhere .

You'll probably just have to work it out apart from babies should not be shaken , which is a no. But otherwise if gentle , I think DH gave DS a bit more than I would have done and it was OK. But nothing was shaking DS - that I would have said no.

Gently, YABU.
I have done all of this with both my children at that age - boy and girl. Your daughter is obviously fine with the play as she is giggling - she is not scared and she is not hurt. And my gymbaroo class used to encourage the upside down play from 6 months onwards - google ‘vestibular stimulation’.

I think he's a bit rough.

Point 1 & 3 - YABU. It’s rough play, if DC is laughing, they’re enjoying it. There was an article on how beneficial rough play is recently.

Point 2 - YANBU. If you think DH is being too rough when changing or tending to DC nappy rash then tell them that. If DC looks uncomfortable, tell him to be more aware. Show him how you would do it so he can compare.

Either way, these are mountains out of molehills.