To feel DH is too 'rough and tumble' with one year old

Those things are not necessarily related. Some children are like this.

Hmm I see your point but it's the opposite for us - I am the rough play parent (hubs has a bad back, I have years of martial arts training 😆) and it has always been a super important way for us to teach boundaries, consent, respect, bodily autonomy. Plus how to deal safely with feelings of aggression, competition, excitement, etc.

OP, at one year old, just keeping an eye on your daughter's response is great - and start showing her the words that go with that eg 'oh you like that, it's funny!' or 'woops, you didn't like that one. That was a bit scary. Sorry love! I won't do that any more'.

There's evidence that children get a similar rush of oxytocin from playing like this with their dads as they do from cuddles with mum, so as long as she's enjoying herself and he backs off when she says stop then it's actually very good for her. Not to say yabu for worrying!

the child is fine. You just have different parenting styles. He's not doing anything wrong, just different. Important to recognise that before you criticise and risk him losing confidence or interest. Great he is so involved with her

Same in our house 😂

I agree actually. I know someone who was like this with their DS and it was totally affectionate but he is now a very rough little boy - doesn’t mean to be, he is just playing, but it does mean he struggles with friendships.

I agree actually. I know someone who was like this with their DS and it was totally affectionate but he is now a very rough little boy - doesn’t mean to be, he is just playing, but it does mean he struggles with friendships.

There's been a lot of research recently showing how beneficial rough and tumble play is for children. I think so long as baby is laughing and engaging positively then it's not a problem. It's a lovely way for Dad to bond in his own way and it sounds like he has a good grasp on the amount of force and play appropriate for her age. To make a sweeping statement - dads seem a lot more confident of their children's abilities than mums and mums are understandably more anxious of harming something that took a lot of time and effort to nurture and keep alive to this point!

YABU

Jesus lighten up. He isn't hurting her and she clearly enjoys it, don't be the fun police it's sad. At 1 Yr old my DS and I would play aeroplanes where I would hold one arm and one leg and swing him in a circle while bouncing him up and down.

Very normal dad behaviour and actually studies have shown this is a very important role of fathers for children's development. It makes me anxious af but I do see how DPs different play style benefits DS .

It sounds lovely, a loving Dad making his daughter giggle with fun physical expressions of affection

He's not being "rough" he's just being more boisterous than you and that is not a bad thing.

What on earth is wrong with "flying" a baby on your forearm or pulling them to standing? Both perfectly normal. As are the other things you describe (I might have waited more than 10 minutes after a meal before tipping a child upside down but generally it's fine).

He's doing exactly what Dad's are meant to do. Dads are for fun and mums are for cuddles (generally). By playing with her and making her laugh he's laying down the pathways and circuits in her brain for her future happiness, it's in being played with and laughed with as young children that we develop the capacity for joy as adults (neuroscientifically speaking).

My kids used to love all this (Early teens now and they still do Tbf!)

Being hung upside down, pulled about by a leg, ‘flown’, chucked in the aor etc.

He’s bonding with his child, it’s really normal.
Kids love it

My DH used to play wrestle mania on our bed with our DC from around 6months old. They thought it was absolutely hilarious.

Imagine a grown man doing a 'clothesline' on a 6 month old or picking them up and 'slamming' them into the matress 😂 he also used to 'pin' them to the bed, chuck them head over feet and pretend to suffocate them with a pillow.

All far more gently than it sounds to peals of laughter.

Then they used to come down to me for a feed and a nap 😁

It's fine OP. Really it is.

It's fine 1&3 seem like normal play to me. Kids and dads get their peak oxytocin from playing with eachother. I'm struggling to see what is unsafe from what you usve described? Both me and my husband played broomstick from birth - it's good for tummy time!

Point 2 - I've never dried my 2.5 yo or 11 month olds bottom after a nappy change (didn't realise we were supposed to do that?!) I think baby will let dad know if it's too rough tbh.

I think your baby will let dad know if they don't like the play or if something is too rough for them.

Kids like that though.

Sorry, trains is trauma

It sounds like they are building a really lovely relationship which is so valuable (I think particularly girls with Dads). Don't get in the way of it it by making him feel like a bad Dad.

Instincts aren't always right and you may want to look at why you feel that way about this kind of play. You could talk to him about it making you anxious even though you know it's not hurting her. This could be a result of some trains of your own, or your own neuroses, so it's natural for you to feel anxious. It's OK to tell him that even though you know you're being silly. He could dial it back a little bit if it makes you scared - then you are acknowledging that it's your problem but you would appreciate if he'd help you out.

It's very beneficial for children, and it is coming naturally to your DH. Please don't let your anxiety limit your child's development.

www.google.com/amp/s/www.psychologytoday.com/gb/blog/singletons/202304/benefits-of-roughhousing-with-your-children

None of what you've described sounds rough. It also sounds as though your DD enjoys these interactions and believable a baby that age would be very vocal if they didn't. Rough housing play is important for children, it teaches them trust and boundaries.

You need to lighten up

you sound over anxious

Your DHs "broomstick" (If I am picturing it correctly) sounds similar to the "tiger in a tree" baby yoga pose which we were recommended for reflux. (I am picturing the whole baby lying longways across an arm with their head being supported by your DHS hand)