To be annoyed what DH said regarding periods.

Do you get DEXA scans while on Depo, or has the messeging re its effect on bone density changed? It's 20 years since I was on it so things may well have changed

I felt the same way about you as not wanting to go on anything but periods can get much worse in your 40s. I'm 42 now and the last year has been extremely heavy with loads of flooding to the point where two days a month I'm struggling to even do the school run without ruining a pair of trousers. It's got to difficult to manage a normal life I've decided I'm going to try Mirena. I will report back after a few months.
So maybe don't rule out trying something new. Your ability to live a normal life matters too.
Tell DH he gets to have an opinion when he's has a painful period of his own. And yes, zero sympathy next time he has man flu.

I desperately wish that my husband could experience just one really awful period (including the constant admin of just dealing with all the blood, having to change every hour throughout the day, and the clots etc 🤢)

I also wish he could experience one "standard" period, so he could appreciate the discomfort and inconvenience of not even a bad period.

Then again, I wish my husband could experience just one totally straightforward pregnancy and birth (I've done 4!) and that he had the metabolism of a perimenopausal shortarse just for a month or so 🤣🤣

This, really.

I have masses of sympathy for you and it sounds horrific but it also sounds like you won’t consider a lot of the things that could help, and that must be frustrating for him. I’d hope that I could be patient and understanding if DH had pain that caused him to be bedbound for two days a month, but I can see that it might run thin every now and again.

It’s such a lot of time to be bed bound.

Watch men try out period simulators on YouTube - either to show him later or just to help relieve your frustration with laughter.

Sorry to hear about your endo, that sounds really tough and not an easy problem to solve.

I also get the hell of the migraines, nausea and cramps every month now too OP (I'm 42) and it's definitely got worse since I got into my 40s. You have my total sympathy, it's AWFUL. I even try to plan my holidays around my periods so I don't get the hell on travel days or while I'm away.
It's a genuine shame that you can't pass on the pain for a month so he can feel what it's like. I'm sure he'd shut up with the snarky comments pretty quickly then.

It's tricky to get help
I went back and back as a teenager then in my twentiesand got a shrug and "painful periods are normal"
Years on it turns out I have endometriosis and I'm now waiting to see gynae. But that's a years wait and I keep ending up in a&e because I can't get the pain under control
If they had referred me first my endo might not be as widespread now

I’ve been there with the awful periods and have a lot of sympathy for you but honestly, if my partner couldn’t function for a couple of days a month I’d expect them to be going back to the doctor to explore options, not just accept there was nothing to be done. Maybe his reaction was a result of his frustration with that.

If your GP isn't taking you seriously you need to see a different one, and be very clear how much it now affects your ability to function normally. Tbh I'd be tempted to head straight for a menopause expert if you can, the average age for progesterone beginning to drop is 35 and as oestrogen begins to swing wildly up and down then begin a gradually decrease you could find your periods become more frequent, heavier to the point of flooding and things being a lot more difficult. Not everyone does of course, mine just started to skip every second month before completly stopping in my late 30s, but id err on side of caution given yours are affecting you so badly and worsening.
Re DH, ya he is a plonker but I agree with idea of sitting down to chat with him when you are more able and explain exactly how shit you feel, the level of pain, does he think you are the type to happily wander off to bed out of laziness. Sometimes a person needs to be put on the spot a bit to get their brain fully engaged!!

I agree you should speak to GP, female if possible.

I would have told your DH - you work out how many periods since X year(what age your periods started) and let you know.

My periods started to get heavier when I approached my mid-40s, my GP happily prescribed the mini-pill and that stopped them altogether. I'm now 53 and have just changed onto HRT, and am very glad I'll never have another period!

This was me, then 6 years ago I stared the DEPO injunction and it has changed my life. The first year was a bit tricky but I’ve not have a period in 5 years and it’s honestly amazing

PS your husband has been a complete dickhead.

To be honest, that sounds quite extreme, especially if it feels like it is getting worse, and I would be seeking a second or third or fourth opinion.

I've always had heavy periods and cramping and it's certainly no fun but if my periods were putting me in bed for two days every month, I'd think something was very wrong (and to be honest, I can see why a partner might well feel a bit fed up too).

I wouldn't be taking 'take some painkillers and get over it' as an answer from my GP, as it seems like taking painkillers isn't actually allowing you to function normally.

Sorry you’re suffering so badly. What pain killers are you taking? He shouldn’t be so dismissive. If anything the more periods you’ve had the more of an injustice it feels. Mine started 2 weeks after I turned 11 and my female relatives do menopause late. I’m already bored to tears of the whole thing, especially as I’ve had my children and they feel a bit pointless.

You’re not asking for advice but I’ll just suggest acupuncture if you’ve never had it. I went when I was having fertility issues and it transformed my periods completely. I can’t begin to tell you the difference, it was literally life changing. I went from doubled over in agony, retching and flooding even on prescription painkillers and Tranexamic acid to make them lighter and a 21 day cycle to a 28 day cycle, lighter, no big clots, almost no pain. As you’re having such a crap time it might be worth a go x

Have you been offered the mini-pill or Mirena coil?

Stopped my periods and stopped the associated migraine.

But yes, your DH is awful, sorry.

Explain to him it's like being kicked in the balls every 3-5 minutes, whilst wearing an overtight swimming cap and being slapped across the temples repeatedly whilst having bowel cramps like the shits.

You've been too busy trying to cope with the pain to count how many you've had.

He's annoying yes but I'd be more concerned about getting yourself looked at. It shouldn't be affecting you like this. It's ridiculous in this day and age that women accept so much female illness and put up with so much . I hope you can get some help and more support at home

Go back to your GP and push for answer. What you're describing is not normal.

Well, next time he has a man flu, you know what you can say to him…
I would be annoyed for a split second but if it was out of character, I would let it go. But definitely, god forbid he has a migraine, tummy ache, cold or paper cut… because that sentence is going to be used on him until the end of times.

I had a partner like this once. I always got really bad cramps like you and had to spend a day or two with a hot water bottle, pills and bed. He said to me once, ‘I thought they were better,’ impatient with me because I didn’t want to go out and had taking some painkillers earlier in the day. No concept of recurring cramps and pain at all. For those saying no-one should have to put up with pain like this every month, I’d had referrals etc. but there wasn’t much on offer and I was taking everything that was. My sympathies, OP. You need to have a proper chat with him about it.

OP, I also had symptoms very like yours from my very early 40s. In my case it got a lot worse over the next few years. I put up with it for far too long due to an ineffectual GP. My new surgery took it seriously (HRT fixed it for me). Don't wait like I did . Start tracking every headache and every bleed. See your GP and explain that you are bedridden with migraines with every period. I really regret not pushing for a solution much earlier than I did.

@BirthdayRainbow , part of me agrees. They have NO idea. Childbirth the old fashioned way feels like that!

These got me off morphine for my period pain and the two people I recommended them to both said they're amazing. Might be worth a try?

amzn.eu/d/4MLzEPq

So sad for you. DHs, really have no idea.
Plus, periods do change. I had some scary heavy ones in my 40s after DD2 was born. I sometimes had pains in my upper (front) thighs which had never happened.

Lots of other things can change too! Better give him the heads up.

In general though, fortunately, I was not overly troubled each month but I see from another active thread tonight that many are and, crazily, many are more incapacitated that you! Maybe put your DH on MN for a bit so he can see how intense it is for many.