To be annoyed what DH said regarding periods.

See your GP and explain that you are bedridden with migraines with every period

This. It isn't normal, and GPs should not behave as if it is.

you don't need to take hormones, there should be other options.

That's exactly how I felt, had a terrible time on the Pill - combined and POP (Cerazette in particular was evil for me).

Then started getting peri-menopause symptoms - in my case it was the flooding I couldn't cope with, I was getting anxious about leaving the house and out of the office meetings became a nightmare.

Spoke to a GP, she was completely dismissive. Saw a different GP and she was lovely, suggested options and after some thought I went for the Mirena. On my second now and I've had none of the issues I had with the Pill. It might not work for you, and I'm not saying you should try it, just that it might be worth looking into as an option.

Honestly if my partner spent two days in bed every month and seemingly refused to do anything to tackle the issue I probably would struggle to remain sympathetic too.

I have PCOS so I understand bad periods and I understand the struggle to get a GP to take you seriously, but you can't just give in and give up two days every month to it. I can't tolerate hormonal contraception either but mefenamic acid, taken on a proper schedule, really helped. HRT has massively helped my sister. There are options and it's not really fair on you or your family not to look into them.

I got a Mirena coil in my 40s and it changed my life - NO more pre period migraines, basically no pmt or periods at all. The freedom was incredible. Please consider it.

The thing is, I think this shit does affect some women's careers! I know far more part time, self employed & freelance women than I do men, for example. This is often due to the unexpected difficulty of returning to ordinary work after childbirth but I wonder if unpredictable female physiology plays a role too.

I had endo and fibroids. No-one should go that long with periods that debilitating without thorough evaluation.

Mine are like this, always have been. I've got endometriosis and adenomyosis, might be worth asking for a laparoscopy if that's something you'd be happy to do.

My doctor put me on a double dose of the progesterone only pill while I await my surgery, made it worse. Plus I've been trying to conceive so don't really want it.
The contraceptive implant took my periods away totally when I used it years ago though, if you'd try that.

I used to have heavy periods, to the extent I was on for 2 weeks, off for 2 weeks, then on for 2 weeks...
I had an endometrial ablation, a procedure under anaesthtic where your womb lining is removed. So, you still ovulate every month but you don't bleed or have a period.
It doesn't work for everyone, but it was the best thing I ever did. It made my life a lot easier.
By the way, it's not something to consider if you still want more children.

I think you're a bit unreasonable to not be open to trying anything to improve it. There's been a number of good suggestions made on the thread.

Sounds like menopause. You, not him.

Not everything can be fixed. But many things can be, and almost everything can at least be improved.

GPs need to ensure this type of problem is thoroughly investigated and multiple solutions tried, not just tell women to go away and buy some paracetamol.

But this can’t be normal for most women otherwise we wouldn’t be able to hold down jobs.

I’d have to go to the GP and get it sorted or at least have the situation improved if I were you. Aside from the pain, I couldn’t stay in my career if I were laid up once a month.

I bet a kick to the balls still hurts and how many of those has he had...

I started getting heavier and much more frequent periods in my early 40s. Ended up having the Mirena coil fitted and taking HRT and now I have no periods at all and it's bliss. My doctor told me there was just no reason for women to suffer with periods and a lot of it is ideological, that women are expected to be stoic. |

I know you say you don't want to take anything because of contraceptives in the past making you fat and sick and hormonal - I was the same, but the Mirena coil hasn't had any effect like that on me at all. If anything I am calmer as it's ended my periods, and I haven't put on any weight that wasn't there already (I am slim but being perimenopausal seems to have made my boobs grow and spread! That was happening before I started the HRT though).

I have a friend similar to you, mid 40’s and still major issues with periods. Mini pill helped massively, maybe try it?

I'm on the Mirena coil, no periods, tis great

THIS.
@Puskaboots I always had really pain free light periods until 40's...and they got a LOT more painful.
And heavier {I also had an undiagnosed thyroid issue that made them heavier}

Really painful as you describe.

There are drugs a GP can prescribe to make them far less painful. {Not opiates, so you won't get 'addicted'}.

Would also echo getting your iron levels checked. I had pre menstrual migraines which have completely gone now my iron levels are better and the symptoms definitely worsen when iron gets low again so I get bloods checked and a few months of iron tablets.

For some people it is normal and not everything can be fixed.

As for the OP - your 'D'H is not getting it and doesn't sound kind at all.

You're not being overly dramatic.

how many periods have you had now?

Around 300 I’d say if you’re nearly 40 and you’ve had a couple of kids.

I get migraines regularly & had irregular periods sometimes 2-3wks per month. Not heavy but really annoying, esp not knowing when they were going to be

I had the injection contraception - made me bloated & put on extra stone & half - hated that.

I eventually tried the mirena coil (I was v.hesitant). And it worked wonders, stopped my period, no period pain too.
You may not need the contraception element but it could really help your periods & get your 2 days a month back. With at least chatting with GP about???

Yes your DH's comment was shitty. In 10 to 20 years, menstrual pain management has come a long way so its worth going back to the doc IMO. Also you could be in perimenopause and again there are things that can help.

Every time you get period pain just continuously kick him in the balls so he can "power through" while in pain as well!

Don't know which part of the country you live but I can recommend a gynecologist who runs a menopause clinic she takes a holistic approach and looks at your complete medical history. It's private but she keeps the costs to the minimum and to be honest, it's the best investment I ever made. DM me if you want more details.

Sounds awful, and really quite unusual to need to spend 2 days in bed. If you’ve been having regular periods since you were 15, that’s 600 days you’ve spent bed-bound with pain! That’s over a year and a half of your life!
I’d find it totally unreasonable / unacceptable to be spending so much time in bed, and I would be beating down the GP’s door for a solution by now.

Sounds like you accepted this situation at a young age and it’s been this way ever since. While it’s “your normal” it really isn’t normal for everyone, and perhaps your DP is interpreting your acceptance to mean that ‘it can’t be that bad’ ?