To be annoyed what DH said regarding periods.

yes you are right. They simply don't have any clue at all. Your husband sounds like he made a one off comment and sounds like he regrets it, as you have said he doesn't normally say nasty things. You are lucky in that respect. My husband held onto the belief that I had 2 weeks of PMS beforehand, then a week of period... he told me "So you are really only good for one week in a month". He held onto that belief for the duration of my periods. Just once you'd really like them to go through what you do! Take care.

DH is probably wondering why it's his wife is the only woman he knows who takes to her bed for two days every month with an attack of the vapours. This is not normal. For goodness sake, get some medical help, if only to save your marriage.

I found the marena coil a life safer . I agree, definitely worth a try .

Have you thought about the mirena coil? Wish I'd done it years before I decided to. No periods, massively reduced pmt, game changer! Xx

You shouldn't be suffering like that I would definitely see the GP though good luck as my experience 99% gas light you and tell you the pain is in your head the heavy bleeding is normal.

But look up endometriosis/ adenomyosis

Just be warned in UK takes 7.5yrs to diagnose either of the above I'm 3 years in fighting to get a diagnoses.
Pain is crippling each month constant dull ache when not on leg numbness back pain leg pain avg 240ml loss a month. Suffered all my life but 3 years ago it went from monthly pain to chronic pain I may have 2 days a month where I'm not uncomfortable.

I'm lucky my DH understands. Yours needs to have a tens machine on his abdomen at a 10 to show him the pain you suffer it's a trend on tiktok and every man struggles the higher the numer where as most women hit 10 and go yep that's my period cramps!

I’m 43, I’m on my period more than I’m off. Had a fibroid removed 3 years ago and a coil fitted after bleeding horrifically for 127 days straight. I still bleed really heavy, terrible pains, which make me double over in pain. My iron levels are all over the place. I cannot wait till I hit the menopause. Nothing can be worse than this. I just dont think men understand at all what we, as women go through.

Sorry that you’re suffering so badly OP - I used to have menstrual migraine and it was brutal. I suggest you buy your DH a Slendertone slimming belt and make him wear it at the highest setting for 24-hours straight. After that he should have some small inkling of what you have to go through every month and the next time he dare’s to give you snark make him go through the whole thing again.And if you want to add a little extra authenticity you could give him a smack around the head. Sadly, you are right - men have no clue!

I had similar experience and discovered I had adenomyosis.. the mirena coil really helped with bloating, pain and bleeding.

I’ve endured a 4 year battle to be listened to and diagnosed as perimenopausal. Heavier and more painful periods, excruciating anxiety and depression, breast cysts, womb thickenings and bigger fibroids to mention but a few. If you see your doctor be tough and demand you’re listened to because I wasn’t and was told I was too young over and over again. I was finally put on the right path last week by a women’s health nurse at my surgery which I didn’t know existed, she happened to be doing my smear test and we got talking and was appalled I’d suffered so long and had all these tests screaming perimenopause and it not taken seriously. Please don’t suffer, things have changed and you’re in pain, push to get seen and be heard. I’d had enough of birth control after it started making me go nuts (stopped my periods entirely and pain but as my hormones changed it stopped agreeing with me so I came off it 4 years ago) and don’t want HRT so I’m having a progesterone only mirena fitted next month to hopefully reduce my periods.
As for your husband, this maybe a one off flippant comment. Sit him down and literally spell it out for him and Google together what is potentially happening to you. My DH has been amazing and knew I was off before I even realised myself. We did a bit of research and got ourselves on the same page. He’s been through a range of things with me but he’s clued up and there to support and cheer me on. It’s tough and this is only the start. You need people in your corner. Good luck OP, keep fighting on.

I used to experience hormonal headaches and migraines every month, came off the pill and got a mirena coil fitted and it made a world of difference. May be worth a try? Good luck, hope you can find a way to stop the monthly suffering.

Did you think about endometriosis perhaps? So much pain is not normal. Doctors are usually dismissive because it’s hard to diagnose and also it needs some type of hormonal treatment, perhaps surgical intervention as well.
And regarding your husbands comment I get the snarky reaction where they get fed up with us winging about it because it’s every month but also we are the ones who go through it so just tell him how that comment made you feel and ask him to be more considerate around those times as you’re already in pain, you don’t need anymore bashing from the one who should support you unconditionally.

Aarrgghhh men can be such selfish idiots. He's bang out of order.

Sorry, I don’t have time to read the whole thread but I have endometriosis. I have MyOovi tens machine and it’s changed my life. It’s amazing - worth trying if you haven’t done so. Honestly, my pain has reduced so much that I’m not floored every month any more. Try it!

I understand where you are coming from OP, I was the same but then after having my son I started having extreme ovulation pain too. My GP was great, sent me for ultrasounds etc but in the end I am on the mini pill and life is sooooo much better.

No, we are trying to help the poor woman not be in so much pain that she has to be in bed for 2 days?
There are different types of hormonal contraception, they work differently and without knowing has the OP ever had the Mirena for instance we don't know whether to rule it out
Transdermal body identical HRT is very different to hormonal contraception, the contraception causing weight gain etc doesn't automatically mean HRT will

I'm so sorry that you're going through this. I truly think if men had to deal with it there would be much more research and a better understanding/help.

I also suffered badly, but in my experience some women don't understand any better than men, what some women go through. I used to throw up, faint, and generally be in awful pain one or two days a month.

In a mixed group one time I was shocked to hear a girl say than she couldn't understand why people made "such a fuss over losing less than a teaspoon of blood"! Heck, I regularly lost clots akin to golf balls, no cause was ever found, I dumped one long-term partner because I apparently "ruined" HIS weekend by being "ill", and shutting yourself in a meeting room at work to writhe around in agony and throw up/pass out because you can't safely travel home, is not exactly fun.

When you're feeling less delicate, explain to him how disruptive it is to your life and maybe he'll come to understand.

Have you seen those videos of couples wired up to period simulator machines? He's often incoherent, while she's just carrying on a normal conversation.

Or the big brave firefighters and policemen reduced to wordless grimaces as the tech turns up the heat ...

The teen boys squealing and writhing ...

I feel every male gynaecologist /IUD fitter / hysteroscopist etc who airily tells women that what he's about to do to them will just feel like a period pain - and every female gynae who's never really suffered much herself - should have to experience this during their training.

https://duckduckgo.com/?q=period+simulator+machine+videos&t=fpas&pn=1&iax=videos&ia=videos&iai=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.youtube.com%2Fwatch%3Fv%3DJob1S4SQsKw

Mirena changed my life, light spotting for a few months while it settled down but apart from that havent had a period for 5 years, got it when I just turned 46 and OMG I wish I had got it sooner. I used to suffer so badly and now, nothing.

Its localised hormones so it doesnt have the same effect as the pill or DEPO (which turned me in a raging maniac, I was foul the whole time I was on it).

Id ask him if he got kicked in the balls continuously for 5-7 days each months, would he get used to it...

You can get ferrous fumarate and ferrous sulphate without a prescription - you need to ask the pharmacist (as I did yesterday, and as she was checking the shelves, asked me which I'd asked for, so I know they had both.)

I am prone to anaemia, and have been prescribed it in the past when blood tests show I need it, so just take it when I've got my period.

After no contraceptives for over 10yrs, I'm going on the implant this month for heavy irregular periods. If only we could switch them on when we wanted to reproduce and keep them off the rest of the time.

Even if the pain is always the same, sometimes you just can't tolerate it.

Does he ever get headaches?

Does he find each one easier to deal with than the last?

(Not comparing a headache to a migraine btw!)

I think you should just spend the two days in bed.

Did he think that because you managed to feed the kids it wasn't that bad?

Why hadn't he done it?

Why didn't he take over/help/send you back to bed?

I hope you get sorted out Op.

It sounds utterly miserable.

i cannot believe that in this day and age women are still not being helped with a problem that has such a negative effect on so many. My periods were neve easy and got much worse in my 40's (this was in the mid 1990's) with flooding, and a level of pain that rendered me speechless and almost unable to move. I tried going to the GP on several occasions but was not offered any help. I did have a scan which revealed two fibroids but was told that as they were small nothing was going to be done. Post menopause I developed a big painful ovarian cyst and had to have a few scans and tests. The woman who did the scan said to me "Your periods must have been horrific", she said that this was because the fibroids had grown one on top of the other and the size was irrelevant, it was the growth and position that had caused my problems. I suffered a lot all those years ago and was dismissed. I would like to think that this was not the case now

My mistype - laprascopy, not endoscopy.

Op what your describing isn't normal. It's not nice that your DH isn't being supportive but it must be frustrating if you are in bed due to just having your period for 2 days a month.

Get to the GP as it may be that you've got an ovarian cyst or something or started approaching perimenopause and it may be worth considering HRT or mini pill or mirena coil etc. don't suffer on like you are.