To scrap ‘evening’ invitations to weddings

Evening do’s are the norm in my experience but it’s accepted that it’s for local people only.

Same here.

Who are these people that are travelling for an evening do? Evening do’s are the norm in my experience but it’s accepted that it’s for local people only. If I got an evening invite but was expected to travel and stay overnight then I wouldn’t go

But I also wouldn’t be offended either that this was the invite I received (unless it was my sister or best friend and then I may have something to say 😂)

I think this possibly is where there is a difference between local town hall/hotel type weddings, where the evening is just a big party and those that are designed for Instagram where they are in the middle of nowhere and guests are expected to go to great expense so that the B&G have the picture perfect big day

The last 40th I went to was last century, and TBH I don't remember.

So what did you do different for a local 40th? Apples v apples.

Requires the same travel, same accommodation, same price for drinks, same new outfit. Apples v apples.

@Sadiee0 all the evening dos I have been invited to have been local, and I haven't bought a new outfit for any of them, so in my case it isn't apples for apples.

Not really, one you’re invited to the full event and the other you’re only invited to part of the event which makes it less worth it.

Also attending the average 40th birthday party is not as expensive as attending the average wedding.

Oh, you'll get all the details!
Plus it's like on here, it gets personal!
Very amusing.

@Chatonette - another good one is ironing!
That gets folk riled up!

Ah….I’m clearly in the TB camp then. Logistically, the ‘hand down’ people are submerging their hand below the water to scrub underneath the surface?

I had a group of playgroup friends who I had only met in the past year who I invited to the night do And I invited my work colleagues who I like but not close friends. They all came and it was lovely to have them.

Exactly. The evening ones I went to were invites for colleagues or newer friends, and my DD did the same for her evening do. It was great to meet some of her work friends, and everyone seemed to be very happy to be there. If there were sulkers, they stayed at home.

I've never known anyone in real life be put out at only being an evening guest.

Oh it's brilliant - I may start another one!
Should you use a toilet brush?
No! They're filthy, you're minging! Get your hand down!
Yes! You're filthy and minging to put your hand down!
So it continues.

What’s the toilet brush debate? Intrigued….! Is it whether you should scrub your shit or just leave it? 😷

Yep. I'm amazed at how many people on Mumsnet consider themselves top tier friends of everyone they know who gets married and go into a strop if they're not all day guests.

I've been to a few evening receptions and they've been fun and great opportunities to hang out with friends in a happy atmosphere. These weddings were of people I liked but who aren't part of my inner circle any more than I am of theirs, so I wasn't remotely offended to only be invited to the evening.
Isn't the evening the best bit anyway? You don't have to buy yourself an expensive outfit or be on best behaviour. Absent any real rebuff, it's a party! Just enjoy it!

Shoes off in the house, toilet brush usage and evening wedding receptions - they're always very divisive on here!

Or maybe some people just have a different opinion to you? It's entirely permissable.

I see the professionally offended mumsnetters are out in force today.

It must be exhausting to feel insulted so easily.

The daily post about being invited to an evening only has surfaced. There is literally one every day. People don’t like being invited to the evening only! It’s a big ask of a guest!

It's not the same.
For a birthday you're generally invited to the whole do.
Or are people having tiered events for these now?

I know! Me too.

Given that you seem to despise them then you are right not to invite them.

I get on really well with the people I work with. They aren't work colleagues, they are work friends.

Same as ours. MIL was one of 15 and FIL one of 9 so evening invitations are very common on DHs side. Nobody took offence.

Oh absolutely, I don’t disagree with that aspect.
But if I were to get married I’d have everybody I want there for the full day, and id be prepared to cover the costs.

I couldn’t think of anything worse than having work colleagues at my wedding.

My family is large. I have 18 direct aunts uncles, plus their partners obviously. So we were limited with day time space. So, friends who had to travel a significant distance got all day invites, friends / colleagues who were local, invited for the evening. No one was upset or offended. Everyone had a great time. Venue could hold a lot more for evening fun than it could for a sit down meal. No issues, no problem.

Yes, or just invited to the evening reception without being told we didn't mean enough to the bride to be invited to the reception but she'd love to see us at the church. Whilst being cheeky enough to send the gift list!

Also some consideration should have been extended to MIL who had to attend alone, having just lost her husband.