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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To ask how into 'stuff' are you?

181 replies

Missmarple87 · 15/04/2024 15:18

Seems like a weird question and I'm asking from an impartial position because I find it so intriguing! I suppose I'm also asking because how much we should spend Vs save is a point of discussion in my marriage 😉 .

At a party at the weekend of people all in professional jobs and with decent amounts of disposable income (I know you can't know about people's finances, really, but it's clear most have some cash left over at the end of the month). From conversation it was clear that some really liked 'stuff', ranging from the latest tech to fashion to interiors stuff to cars etc. and that acquisition was important to them. Others clearly weren't into at all - completely genuinely just not bothered (old phones, old cars, old clothes). Others weren't into it as a point of pride e.g. my old car, despite being able to afford a new one, is a status symbol in itself.

Where do you stand on this?

OP posts:
BogRollBOGOF · 16/04/2024 07:04

I like stuff and am no natural minimalist. I'm sentimenral and slightly hoardy rather than about status. My wardrobe is pretty full, but a lot of it is old clothes and I keep it full to curtail myself. Being older, I tend to have what I need covered so I buy a lot less than I did in my youth and heady pre-children days.

I've had to learn to let go. One of my relatives hasn't and has a proper hoard problem and this is my cautionary story. I don't want to end up in that state and leave it for my children to deal with the aftermath.

The positive is that I tend to get the maximum life out of things. I've been driving 20 years and am on car 3. I know that I wouldn't cope with the merry-go-round of buying and selling things on, or even buying and doing returns, so I prefer buying things like clothes in person so it's right when I've walked out of the shop.

I like experiences too, and can temporarily manage more basic situations like camping & backpacking. But it's nice to get home to a house with stuff that has personal meaning.

pawpawgingins · 15/04/2024 22:56

I dont use stuff as status symbol but I like good reasonably priced clothes and shoes and bags but I’m leaning minimalist so have very few things

Dont care about decor, cars, jewerelly

But you bet my nails / hair are always well groomed, I’m clean, smell nice and have good teeth

My BF is into stuff and is also a collector, I always wonder how much money he could have saved throughout his life if he bought half of the stuff he buys

YoureRockingTheBoat · 15/04/2024 22:51

I took exactly what I wanted from the marital home when we divorced, and after I had settled realised that I hadn’t taken sufficient stuff. I had to buy a couple of geegaws to fill the surfaces. Turning up in a shop deliberately trying to buy ornaments was quite stark after a lifetime of just accumulating things like an endless game of Katamari Damancy. It hasn’t built back up into a habit, though, I think there probably is a habitual element to it.

Shestolemyboyfriend · 15/04/2024 22:16

Growing up with a family full of love and no actual money for "stuff" none of it means anything to me. I hold absolutely no value in objects and don't get an urge to buy expensive stuff.

Kendodd · 15/04/2024 22:11

Not bothered camp. In tech, clothes, cars, interiors everything. Its all just clutter in my book.
I'd be a rubbish lottery winner!

Saladcreamdreams · 15/04/2024 22:01

I'm into old charity shop stuff and books and hand me down kinda stuff not tech, new fandangled or mega expensive new car kind of stuff

RM2013 · 15/04/2024 21:57

Some stuff I like but other things don’t bother me. I have a fairly new car which I do change every few years, clothes I tend to look for bargains on vinted etc but I’ve got things in my wardrobe that I’ve had for years. I’m not bothered about labels or designer stuff. I like a nice home but I wouldn’t spend a fortune on things - again always after a bargain!
my phone I upgrade every few years but usually because I give my old phones to my teens when I change mine. Other tech doesn’t really bother me. I don’t have a laptop etc.
I think as I’ve got older I tend not to impulse buy as much and will consider purchase more carefully. If anything I overthink purchase too much and often talk myself out of buying something!!

Splat92 · 15/04/2024 21:56

I'm not into stuff at all. I think it's probably the reason I'm not a present person.

I do value nice food though so I like to spend on nice chocolates or restaurants. I also value holidays so that's where our savings tend to go.

BobnLen · 15/04/2024 21:50

We buy a lot of stuff for the garden, a trip to a garden centre usually means at least £200 down, I suppose that is stuff.

TheMoth · 15/04/2024 21:42

I don't feel like I buy lots of stuff, but my money definitely goes somewhere. Plants, probably.
I love clothes, but I tend to buy cheap. However, I tend to change my look a lot, so just when I decide I don't need to buy any more clothes, I suddenly think:"I think a pair of x would look amazing with y" and then I can't think of anything else.

Car is 9 years old and needs to live another 5-10 years until I can save up for a new one.
2nd hand phone.
Doing the house up, so there's always something to buy or someone to pay.
Library for books.
No bands near me that I fancy seeing at the minute, but that's more expensive than it used to be. Especially if there are 2 of you going.
No savings of any note.

gannett · 15/04/2024 21:18

I'm into stuff if it's functional and makes my life easier. I'm not into stuff just because it's the newest tech or in thing and I'm not into stuff just because "ooh it looks pretty". I absolutely hate shopping and can't really comprehend why anyone would do it as a leisure activity let alone the concept of "retail therapy". Spending money doesn't make me feel good! I buy as little as I can get away with. Moving house a few times also cured me of any desire to own more physical possessions than is strictly necessary.

Building up a collection of books once looked like it'd be the exception to the above but then I got a Kindle.

Lentilweaver · 15/04/2024 20:42

Missmarple87 · 15/04/2024 20:37

Yes, this! For people who love stuff, I'm intrigued to know how often you're buying stuff and how much you're spending.

For me, monthly:

  • probably about 4 books per month as am a big reader
  • 2 or 3 skincare/haircare/make up but usually just replacing what has run out rather than trying new stuff
  • maybe 1 or 2 items of fashion - clothing or shoes, which actually feel like quite a lot when I write it down
  • usually some kind of household 'thing' but most often this is a joint purchase as needed as we slowly do up the house

Big ticket items - furniture or art for the house, just as needed a few times per year

Tech - when it breaks

Car - when it breaks 😂

I am a big reader but I get all my books from the library. Is that an option?

coldweathertherapy · 15/04/2024 20:38

This is probably a good place to say that it occurred to me that I should probably try to stop being influenced by influencers. I seem to have a problem browsing, buying and then returning M&S clothing. There’s nothing wrong with what I already own. I’ve heard of runners high but is there such a thing as shoppers high?

Missmarple87 · 15/04/2024 20:37

BobnLen · 15/04/2024 20:03

If nobody is buying much stuff, who is buying it all

Yes, this! For people who love stuff, I'm intrigued to know how often you're buying stuff and how much you're spending.

For me, monthly:

  • probably about 4 books per month as am a big reader
  • 2 or 3 skincare/haircare/make up but usually just replacing what has run out rather than trying new stuff
  • maybe 1 or 2 items of fashion - clothing or shoes, which actually feel like quite a lot when I write it down
  • usually some kind of household 'thing' but most often this is a joint purchase as needed as we slowly do up the house

Big ticket items - furniture or art for the house, just as needed a few times per year

Tech - when it breaks

Car - when it breaks 😂

OP posts:
JustForWomen · 15/04/2024 20:13

Practical...e.g. I want a phone that works well, has a decent camera etc. Shoes I can walk in. A car that is nice to drive, comfortable and reliable (a luxury I know).

I'm a wanna be minimalist at home...6 years overdue a massive declutter.

Finedefinefine · 15/04/2024 20:13

BobnLen · 15/04/2024 20:03

If nobody is buying much stuff, who is buying it all

Me! I'm buying it all. I wish I wasn't 😥

This thread has been a bit of a wake-up call to be honest, and I'm going to try to figure out how to stop. It's definitely a psychological issue.

StrictlyAFemaleFemale · 15/04/2024 20:10

I like stuff that makes my life easier. Robot lawn mower for example.

MaryLennoxsScowl · 15/04/2024 20:07

Love books, clothes, house and garden stuff. I am definitely not yet at the point where my house is finished (or even completely furnished) so if there’s going to be a levelling-off point I haven’t reached it.
Cars, tech, designer bags/shoes, labels, gadgets, streaming services - nope. Couldn’t care less.
Food, holidays and experiences are not stuff. They’re the opposite.

BobnLen · 15/04/2024 20:03

If nobody is buying much stuff, who is buying it all

PoppyCherryDog · 15/04/2024 20:00

Definitely not into stuff despite being quite a high earner.

Car is 2018 Astra, TV was my gran’s (she died in 2017), phone is a refurbished iPhone 8, iPad is 2015 I think. Most of my clothes are TU cuz I do food shop in sainsburys.

Most money goes on the dogs and 3 month old baby. I also like to eat out or get coffee out a lot.

AllPrincessAnneshorses · 15/04/2024 19:55

Missmarple87 · 15/04/2024 15:18

Seems like a weird question and I'm asking from an impartial position because I find it so intriguing! I suppose I'm also asking because how much we should spend Vs save is a point of discussion in my marriage 😉 .

At a party at the weekend of people all in professional jobs and with decent amounts of disposable income (I know you can't know about people's finances, really, but it's clear most have some cash left over at the end of the month). From conversation it was clear that some really liked 'stuff', ranging from the latest tech to fashion to interiors stuff to cars etc. and that acquisition was important to them. Others clearly weren't into at all - completely genuinely just not bothered (old phones, old cars, old clothes). Others weren't into it as a point of pride e.g. my old car, despite being able to afford a new one, is a status symbol in itself.

Where do you stand on this?

Depends on what "stuff" you're talking about. Cars, clothes, shoes, bags, latest tech: not really interested, we get the basics secondhand. Books absolutely, but I am trying to rely more on the library. Household - some very pricey items like handknotted rugs, but they have to last a long time. What we don't do is change things on account of fashion, so we can still save and not have clutter. I hate housework.

abracadabra1980 · 15/04/2024 19:47

Not into stuff, or cars. Over the years, have ploughed all my spare cash into my home, which I love above any holiday, or 'thing'. I need very little to be content-as long as my pets are happy that's all I care about these days. If I ever spend on 'me' it's usually a good quality coat or wellies or walking boots as I only ever need outdoorsy type clothes. I'd rather stick pins in my eyes than fart on setting up new technology.

MotherWol · 15/04/2024 19:42

I’m not really into stuff; I find it quickly gets overwhelming and I don’t like living in a cluttered house. Sadly with two DC and a clutter bug DH, I have to live with a lot of stuff around me, and it often feels cramped at home. I like selling and decluttering instead!

I do like browsing and window shopping, but when it comes to actually bringing stuff home, I tend not to.

PersephonePomegranate23 · 15/04/2024 19:38

I love clothes, jewellery and other accessories but couldn't care less about phones or other 'stuff'. Having said that, I'm not brand conscious or into designer stuff. Maybe I would be if I afford it though!

snakewillow · 15/04/2024 19:36

I couldn't care less about stuff, I buy the best value item that fulfils it's function and only replace things when the need it. I do value experiences, time with family and friends and holidays though so still don't save huge amounts, you can't take any of it with you.